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#60255 (431/575) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< larsivi> heh, I talked to this sysadmin once who wondered where all the printers in his network came from ... it turned out his search script started at 10.226.0.69, and ended at .68, making him search the whole internet for unsecured printers ...
< larsivi> the search had taken 21 days ...Comment: #d @ freenode
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#57383 (406/542) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
weird_aunt_martha: ok...so I'm at work today...
weird_aunt_martha: I sneezed. And there's a guy across the wall from me, in a different department. And he hollers over the cube wall 'Martha? My conference call says bless you' |
#56383 (501/669) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<psych> Gah.
<psych> !8ball Why won't my fucking email send?!
<ChanServ> psych: Outlook not good.
<psych> ... |
#54900 (426/568) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<XenoDemon> So it is 3am, and I am sleeping
<XenoDemon> Some girl comes into my dorm room (Door isin't locked, room mate is still on computer)
<XenoDemon> She mumbles something to my room mate who had no idea who she was
<XenoDemon> Sits on my bed, then lays down in my bed (I am still in it), takes my blanket, and starts to go to sleep, then knocks her head against mine.
<XenoDemon> I go "Who the hell are you? What's your name?" "Aisha" "Where do you live?" "Ogg" (Another dorm)
<XenoDemon> "you're in the wrong dorm" "what? no I'm not" "Well um I need to use this bed, go back to Ogg ok?" "Haha... Ok... bye" and then she leaves
<XenoDemon> I know it is easy to get random drunk girls into bed, but that was just ridiculus. |
#35897 (9732/13346) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Miraculous> does anyone know anything about routers?
Rukus+> the most important advice i can give you
Rukus+> do NOT rip it out of the wall when drunk and say you have defeated the matrix |
#40783 (323/429) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nudger> The Internet is great, but the best thing it's ever done is when a bored schoolfriend of mine set the school's website's background to Goatse.
* Antifreez sighs
<Antifreez> So many memories attached to that song.
<Nudger> It was so great when the IT teacher opened the page on a huge projection screen, and without looking at it, said "We, shall be attemping THIS, boys!"
<Nudger> I swear, I was almost sick from laughing.Comment: From Metafilter's IRC Channel.
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#38342 (246/324) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<n3ur0tich> he called me at 2 in the morning. i thought he was calling to see if i was okay. how strangly considerate, i thought. how nice.
<n3ur0tich> he called to ask if i stole his cheese. five pounds of cheese. yes, i sighed, i stole five pounds of cheese from your apartment. right. because i really needed five fucking pounds of cheese. oh, and i'm fine, thanks.
<n3ur0tich> he called again at 3.
<n3ur0tich> "are you sure you didn't take the cheese?" |
#311654 (23/29) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
xxx: can I be considered a coach if I train a neural network?
yyy: if you're using .fit(X,y), you are a fitness trainer |
#100874 (2068/2806) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<rasp> i was catering a “tenant appreciation” event in palo alto yesterday
<rasp> we had these slushie machines, but one broke and spilled everywhere
<rasp> so i went to the main office to ask if they had a hose, but the guy tells me,
<rasp> “no, but i see the google guys across the street using a hose sometimes, you can try asking them”
<rasp> turns out this place was right next to one of google’s offices
<rasp> i walked over to the cafeteria area and asked one of the cooks, be he told me they didn't know where it was
<rasp> as i was walking away, i had a little moment to myself...
<rasp> "wow, i just queryed google irl"
<rasp> "lol"Comment: error 404: hose not found
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#310968 (50/62) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Thugzilla> jesus
<Thugzilla> i just won the hardest battle of real life
<Thugzilla> internet was down all day, so i went upstairs knocked, [Redacted 1] answered and i told him to plug the ethernet cable back in
<Thugzilla> he didnt
<Thugzilla> 2 hours later i knocked again and no one answered, even tho i can hear footsteps
<Thugzilla> i knocked like 20 times still no one answers
<Thugzilla> i flip the breaker for their fridge and living room, go back upstairs, knock again and [Redacted 2] answers within 2 seconds
<Thugzilla> now my internet is back |
#310899 (53/65) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<hayashi> thank you, based LaTeX
<hayashi> telling me my syntax errors are at the end of my align*, instead of where they actually are
<bjs> hayashi, there's nothing wrong with latex's error reporting you obviously just put the error in the wrong place
<bjs> and it's reporting where it SHOULD be |
#295604 (391/519) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<archtech> An interesting experiment: cover your eyes fully so that no light leaks through. You'll always think you see some light leak through. Ask your friend to turn off the light, or do nothing. When he turns it off, you'll still see phantom leaking light.
<awormus> now I know the guy who is sitting next to me is on this channel because he's sitting here with his hands over his eyesComment: #phpc freenode
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#310343 (50/62) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< yates> let me read and then perhaps ask more intelligent questions.
< o11c> pretty sure that's never happened in this channel before ^Comment: freenode ##c++
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#297766 (653/877) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@monkey> so, is anyone else going to update their resume with "5 year google beta tester"? |
#125426 (330/438) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Oakie620> ... Do triple-sided dice even exist?
* Talon_IceHawk has also tried to figure out is a two-sided die was possible. He had his head around that one for hours before deciding it wasn't >_>
<Oakie620> Oh, those exist, Talon. They're called coins. :D |
#300636 (452/604) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@mikesch> Google Wave was built to show younger people how older people feel when they try to use the internet. |
#305241 (221/291) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Zardoz> so I left my blackberry in mun's car on wednesday only retrieved it now.
<@Zardoz> 16 missed calls! wow! I'm popular!
<@Zardoz> turns out they were all me trying to find my phone.
<@Zardoz> sigh. |
#301342 (289/383) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DrSunglass> So, my family just upgraded to HDTV satellite TV.
<DrSunglass> The thing I notice most is that the fine print in commercials is now clearly legible. |
#301368 (433/577) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< samble> gah
< samble> documenting code is hard
< samble> i keep ending sentences with semicolons
< jbroome> #i don't really have that problem |
#301414 (271/359) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@GaidinBDJ> Wanna feel old? Just think, if they remade Back to the Future now, they would be travelling back to 1980. |
#249522 (372/494) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Shadders> God is within Yourself
<Mike> then I hope He likes tacos, because tonight its what He's getting |
#221161 (296/392) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@mikesch> the woman sitting across from me has a weird tinyhand.
<@mikesch> with the same french manicure that her other, regular, hand has.
<@jop> are you picturing it around your cock
<@mikesch> I am now, you fucker. |
#301827 (398/530) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<prote> apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today" |
#302106 (535/717) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Deadhope> I got fired from Wal-Mart today...
<RainbowHugz> nice. why'd you get fired ?
<Deadhope> I made a kid crap himself , he was stealing and i decided to stare at him like an angry pedophile while yelling , WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?!?!?
<Deadhope> The kid ran away crying leaving a trail of shit. Atleast i didn't have to clean that.
<2Tone> haahahahahahahahaha
<RainbowHugz> Best...reason to be fired ever.., i'm in tears right now. |
#302129 (451/603) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sje46> I avoid sex the same way I avoid bullets
<sje46> i haven't had the chance to |
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