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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..374375376377378379380..599Next> |
#39860 (69/217) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[23:03] <@tH> my friend's buying an ethernet switch from dell
[23:03] <%spazizoner> WHAT
[23:03] <@Knifa> LOL
[23:03] <@tH> and in the online checkout
[23:03] <@ReadMe> stop them, quick
[23:03] <@tH> it asks you
[23:03] <@tH> Q4. Will the product(s) be used in connection with weapons of mass
[23:03] <@tH> destruction, i.e. nuclear applications, missile technology, or
[23:03] <@tH> chemical or biological weapons purposes?Comment: We told him to tell him to awnser yes... not sure if he did it tho
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#63069 (112/366) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Hephesus> I think the baby has a fever...
<Trinexx> a fever on a baby is a clear sign of demonic possession, you must remove the heart with a dog skull, then piss inside an empty glass and drink it. Burn the heart. Smear the ashes on your penis. Make hot steamy love to an asian boy.
<Trinexx> be sure to smear molten sugar on the baby's legs and throw it in an antbed once you're done
<Hephesus> or, you know, give him a bath and some medicine...
<Trinexx> NO! DO NOT LET THE DEMON TOUCH WATER!
<Hephesus> what if I bathe him in holy water?
<Trinexx> possibly, as long as the heart has already been removed |
#130 (135/447) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DigDug> qu:230; <blazemore> cause i don't care about video games anymore <blazemore> video games are a waste of money
<reptile-> What the hell?
<reptile-> someone replaced our blazemore with some Christian bigot. |
#238 (90/290) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[thinkmad] does anyone know a good car audio site
(McMoo) www.40plus50plus.com
[thinkmad] you fucking bastard moo
[kisama] mcmoo: i have member logins to that site |
#3776 (79/251) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<bin_Laden> Some English teacher got beaten to death a couple months ago.
<Morris> hahaha
<Morris> must've given an AP student a B |
#4511 (91/298) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<OutLore> as a matter of fact, i'm jacking off right now.
<Synoptica> keep it in your pants
<OutLore> my hand or my penis?
<Synoptica> just shut it
<OutLore> shutting up |
#6027 (74/235) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<bozo> !v
<bozo> *damn*
<fn> "if you were in emacs, you'd be editing by now." |
#6922 (75/237) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<piman> RVD: Whereas the amount of people watching wrestling grows, oddly enough, at the same rate as the people who are 3rd generation welfare recipients. |
#102902 (44/136) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(@Aneyva) my computer is spazzing... brb gotta reboot
—› quit: (Aneyva)
• +missey wonders what spazzing computer looks like
(%Cory) it screams at you asking for swiss chocolate and makes you drive to somewhere a few towns over to get it and bitches at you when you get back
(%Cory) oh wait that's pregnant |
#310484 (25/67) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Phase4> "Reaching out to more and more gamers, Minecraft developers are planning to include subtitles for the convenience of people who have the inability to hear."
<Quora> "hisss"
<Quora> "ugh"
<Sanchal> "Clank"
<Phase4> "boom"
<Quora> "whack"
<Sanchal> "tinktinktink"
<Phase4> "mooo"
<Quora> "bawk"
<Kopachris> "zoop"
<Quora> "kodak film" |
#190804 (47/143) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Chaos> I'm filing a complaint against you on xbl
<Yukupo> ;___;?
<Chaos> for tampering
<Yukupo> with what?!
<Chaos> my heart!
* Yukupo walks away |
#201343 (61/191) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[+CJ] i didnt know the pentagon was in the shape of a pentagon till i saw it on transformers movieComment: call him an idiot at irc.swiftirc.net #swiftkit
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#310235 (42/124) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<worstcase> once we look at women as 3d printers i think abortion wont be as much of a big deal |
#37732 (71/225) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<danny> How do u get rid of e-mail
<Plog> ...
<Plog> Delete it?
<danny> how
<Plog> Click delete.
<danny> where
<Plog> ... |
#46554 (75/239) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<robbi> me, christy, and carrie are all cancers
<sethism> cancers to society |
#52373 (118/390) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<an0n> If I was in a pool naked with Elisha Cuthbert and she was flirting with me, I wouldn't be shitting because I saw the principle of my highschool.....
<an0n> .....I'd need to see like...Jesus giving me the finger or some shit.
<an0n> God would have to carve "Thou shalt get out of the fucking pool" into the tiling.
<an0n> The offensive line of the Raiders would have to rope me from the edge of the pool and DRAG my ass out.
<an0n> Shit, she could whip her cock out and I'd still have to float around and think about it for a while.
<an0n> She could be like "I've got a set of false teeth grafted onto the inside of my vagina and it has a taste for cock" and I'd still be floating there going "I wonder if she does anal? WTF? Where did the Raiders come from?"Comment: irc.sorcery.net #nodewar
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#72454 (115/381) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<stello> My firewall rules are tighter than an emo kid's jeans. |
#12334 (87/285) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@GoodScrat> Hello,
<@GoodScrat> I noticed you have a Linux 101 keyboard for $69 at:
<@GoodScrat> http://store.yahoo.com/pckeyboards/linux101.html
<@GoodScrat> I was wondering why this keyboard is not free.
<@GoodScrat> Thanks,
<@GoodScrat> Johnny |
#18931 (72/229) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<pizzathie> sex? what's that?
<Foole> pr0n without a camera
<pizzathie> I must have been doing something wrong at school
<Foole> i did lots of wrong things at school |
#20972 (75/237) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Heythere> i've always wanted you
<Heythere> every night, i dream of us in a prison cell
<CommanderStab> That's understandable
<CommanderStab> I've always wanted me too |
#21034 (94/305) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Hatter_ui> Honestly, could you love yourself anymore you fuck?
<Otto> As a matter of fact, yes.
<Otto> My ribs are being removed as we speak. |
#26245 (74/236) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Threeboy> i think advertising other channels is like bay employees going into sears and shouting "HUDSON BAY COMPANY NEEDS MORE CUSTOMERS" |
#26437 (82/264) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tanis> Im not on first names basis with many people, who is Greg?
<Dany> ..duh
<Dany> plarom
* Plarom waves
<Tanis> Greg are you a bastard?
<Plarom> Appearently.
<Tanis> Keep the good work up! |
#28298 (100/328) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Trivbot0> What is South Korea's national dish called?
<Logic_BomB> rats
<Logic_BomB> rice
<Logic_BomB> children |
#32497 (90/296) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Mike> ahah!
<@Zero> ?
<@Mike> the source for microsoft windows!
<@Mike> 10 * BEGIN
<@Mike> 100 GOSUB 7000 ; * Load stuff
<@Mike> 110 GOSUB 900 ; * Show windows logo
<@Mike> 120 GOSUB 20000 ; * Prompt for operator login
<@Mike> 130 GOSUB 32000 ; * Fill half of memory with DLL's
<@Mike> 140 GOSUB 16000 ; * Time waster loop |
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