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#52838 (85/265) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kyle> ah yes, I remember my first time..she was lying on the bed and I was holding my coat and saying out loud "hmm I cant decide whether or not I'm going to do this with my coat on or off.." and shes looking at me like "wtf" and I start putting it on and I continue talking "and right now its looking like..coat" |
#62067 (126/404) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
King_Nintendoid: Set phasers to skullfuck |
#113524 (265/887) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<woody> So, you hear about Resident Evil 5?
<woody> Apparently, people are having a cry because you kill black people in it.
<adam_grif> So it's a problem solving game then. |
#310281 (35/97) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Krrrlson> racist joke?
<+GIR> What do white people and black people have in common? They both seem okay over here'
<Krrrlson> this isn't racist at all
<bp> yeah that's like the opposite of racist
<tacodog> that actually made me feel pretty good |
#15684 (91/286) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kanzen> heh.. this guy's ont he phone calling his computer pookie.. "Oh come
on pookie, you can do it pookie.. there you go pookie, thats it... " |
#17093 (77/235) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<phr0id> anyone have e-txr2.001?, im on 56k
<juntog> that's like asking "anyone want to have sex? I have aids!" |
#20041 (82/253) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<taQo> have you ever died before? man that sucks.
<Prozzy> I died before. Luckily i was in a video game, so the main guy resurrected me. I came back to life 500 times.
<Prozzy> I was Super Jesus. |
#22443 (85/265) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DarKHawK> Hows this, I get told to create a /dev dir for a developer I say no and he says he is the developer and thats what he wants it called |
#23956 (90/282) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kharma> I just found out that XP is the Christian monogram made from the first two letter of the Greek word for Christ.
<kharma> Just another sign that Bill Gate's is trying to be God. |
#18161 (76/236) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tbone22> today is my housemate's bday...what should i buy him...he just turned 23
<Dirge> a big fat penisdildo
<tbone22> he's hetero
<tbone22> (are there other kinda of dildos?) |
#33338 (89/281) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DimaV> aight, i am gonna go think about what i did wrong today
*** DimaV is now known as DimaV_bathroom |
#34029 (95/301) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Imiut> I'm so addicted I actually read the pending quotes too. >.<
<Luna> imiut, i do that too...
<Imiut> Omg do you? Let's get married!Comment: #mxo
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#37005 (71/221) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Jedi> <@TheZEEness> SHIT ON AN OVEN
<@Jedi> i wonder what kind of amazing stench you could make shitting in an oven and then cranking it up to 450
<@TheZEEness> I wonder if at a certain tempurature, shit starts smelling like flowers
<@Jedi> fly me to your house, i'll shit in your oven...
<@TheZEEness> That sounds like a horrible cover of that Sinatra song
<@TheZEEness> FFLLLLYYYYY me to your house, so I maaayyy shit upon your oven |
#37790 (94/296) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<simon-say> CNN is reporting that Lance Armstrong may be stripped of his 6th Tour de France title.
<simon-say> In a random check for banned substances, three were found in Armstrong's hotel room.
<simon-say> The substances banned by the French that were found in his hotel room were as follows: (1) Toothpaste, (2) Deodorant, (3) Soap
<simon-say> The French officials also found several other items which they had never seen before, including a testicle and a backbone...
<simon-say> Earlier reports that French Government officials attempted to surrender to Armstrong as he entered Paris were apparently erroneous. |
#53283 (101/319) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* mademoiselle has quit IRC (Quit: boyfriend's horny, brb)Comment: #megatokyo on Aniverse
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#56956 (126/412) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kylie> wanking over me...... that crosses the line
<zBird> hasn't like, every guy in here done that already? |
#1658 (102/326) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<bigPIMP> are you a virgin?
<kink> yes
<kink> giving it up to a non-linux using chick is like giving it up to a man, just wrong |
#2034 (84/264) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Brentai> ...you guys realize that this is the least I've ever laughed. I'm anti-laughing.
<FoxieMoxie> You're anti-laughing? Good, I hope your lungs implode then. |
#2461 (86/270) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pSa007> what is the difference between nintendo64 and commodore64? |
#2613 (81/253) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kyourek> KEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEE!!
<DrWoody> ... What?
<kyourek> Just practicing my karate. |
#3100 (87/273) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ecntrcjrk> Eating babies is like eating Veal.
<Ecntrcjrk> Only..... babies. |
#3764 (85/267) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ric> tbh, I would like to know why only fat women who have no chance of scoring with anyone seem to see *me* as their ideal partner
<tommy_> ditto
<ric> maybe, it's my good looks, my charm, my generosity....
<ric> or perhaps it's my hat of meat... just who knows? |
#7412 (93/295) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cromicus> they're all like "everytime you say the word 'sex', jesus cries and floods a town in a third-world country" |
#7503 (77/240) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<djfisty> i woke up with samuel l jackson's hairstyle from 'unbreakable' |
#7857 (99/319) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[Hive] You know what really pisses me off? People who point at their wrist when asking for the time. Yeah, buddy, I know where my watch is. Where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask for the bathroom? |
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