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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..347348349350351352353..599Next> |
#21072 (94/253) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<eva> hey when will i be able to buy the matrix phone
<eva> cause i am definetly buying that
<Potrod> What's the matrix phone?
<NuttO> It's an ugly piece of shit made by Samsung
<Potrod> What does it look like?
<NuttO> Imagine a brick, now keep imagining a brick and call it a phone.
<eva> whatever dudes, youll all be green with jealousy from all that matrix code running down your face while i clik it open and ask my mom to borrow the car |
#22478 (85/227) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<nicolle14> whats the point of being a techie dork if you don't dload porn?
<MrWabam> someday... my techie dorkness will find a techigodess who is impressed by the size of my hd and want to bang me
<MrWabam> and she'll be real, and hot.... Hotter than my CPU
<nicolle14> What's a "CPU"? |
#30171 (112/308) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kaelic> mmm noodles and chicken breasts
<Kaelic> mmm breasts |
#30415 (97/263) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MeLearnin> Why does _Bunny always tell people he is going to bed?
* MeLearnin brb taking a shit.... |
#31546 (123/339) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<J3anyus> i learned a very important mathematical equation last night
<J3anyus> huge amounts of orange juice + huge amounts of vodka = huge amounts of vomit
<homerj> then huge amounts of vodka = huge amounts of vomit - huge amounts of oj
<homerj> and then since huge amounts of vodka = huge amounts of potatoes , that means potatoes = vomit - oj |
#34022 (106/290) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<munchingfoo> lol, that might make a funny chat up line
<Kibet> my favourite is "whats your favourite flavour of wood"
<Amaunet> huh?
<Kibet> it worked once
<Kibet> right enough she was a tad insane |
#35084 (155/435) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mafiaboy> it's better to be black than gay cuz when you're black you don't have to tell your mother |
#37255 (78/208) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<gullberg> derb^ircdruk? drunk? :D
<derb^ircdruk> indeed :D
<gullberg> nice :D
<derb^ircdruk> have to drive in about 3½ hours
<derb^ircdruk> you know, car and shit
<derb^ircdruk> I'm going to crash so much
<gullberg> Then dont drive ;)
<gullberg> sleep instead :D
<derb^ircdruk> no
<gullberg> why not?
<derb^ircdruk> need my driver's license |
#38705 (81/217) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* chupachipmunk touches his heart... area
* TallestSilver tries to touch her heart area, but smacks her boob instead
<TallestSilver> Ow....
<chupachipmunk> Hah
* chupachipmunk can touch his chest without hitting boob
<TallestSilver> FUCKIN' BOOBS! I'LL TEACH YOU TO GET IN MY WAY!!!!!!
* TallestSilver slices off her breasts with a rusty dagger and tosses them away
* chupachipmunk hand Silver some hydrogen peroxide
<Lucifer> yknow, that reminds me of something...
<Lucifer> you've all heard of the Amazons, right?
<chupachipmunk> They are the ancient all-female race who patented one click shopping |
#55113 (84/226) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ryken> Why doesn't EFnet have chanserv and nickserv?
<+iamben> we have /kick and /ban, thats good enough. |
#101859 (55/143) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[@TheWickerMan] Sometimes when I'm sad I echo happy phrases to myself like /echo you're a winner !!!
[@ias] that's sad
you're a winner !!! |
#239876 (270/776) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Tyr> wow... epic story from my boss
< Tyr> so, i sent him an email letting him know i'm selling a laptop to see if the company might want to buy it
< Tyr> or if he might know anyone else
< Tyr> turns out he does
< Tyr> see, he has this friend that's notorious for sleepwalking and peeing in random places
< Tyr> he apparently got up and peed on his laptop this weekend
< loodWork> I guess when he woke up...
< loodWork> *puts on sunglasses* ...he was really pissed off...
< loodWork> YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH |
#82731 (94/256) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
DanielKeep : Ooh, do you have one of those IRC clients that beeps when it sees your name, miller[]?
benny99 : DanielKeep: cool, let's write a script that plays a melody by highlighting him :)
DanielKeep : Now *there's* an idea
DanielKeep : 1-bit music via IRC spamming |
#12303 (94/257) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<baldurk> btw, happy independance day!!
<baldurk> although in england we call it thanksgiving day |
#18143 (94/256) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* compl3x is away (sleeping with kilrathi's mom)
<KilrathiX> hey!
<KilrathiX> that's my job! |
#22893 (107/292) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ch33ky> is this the internet? |
#24440 (102/278) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<seth> Dammit, I've had hiccups for the past TWO HOURS!
<icon> Have you tried $USELESS_REMEDY?
<seth> I've tried all @USELESS_REMEDIES! |
#24884 (93/255) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[Kristina] some geek on slashdot insulted me because I commented that geeks only like to do fun programming not boring stuff...he insulted me then told me I should do boring stuff to give something back to the OSS community...and he did it all under the name "anonymous coward"...got, slashdotters are so...lame
[josiejaz] and you're one of them.... |
#29095 (97/265) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<sendai2ci> 138gig's d'led in the past fifteen days...methinks 250 a definite posibility by the end of the month...
<Matreya> wtf are you downloading :)
<Kreator> linux isos |
#33176 (98/266) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DrGrog> you know what's fun?
<DrGrog> when you take a knife and touch the little heat things in a toaster
<DrGrog> it's a rush |
#660 (111/306) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DigDug> <hypr> dof i think hj00 lsefz haw
<DigDug> wtf did that say?
<hypr> i dunno
<hypr> what i said |
#980 (96/266) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SYch0> ok
<SYch0> a word of warning:
<SYch0> never try to masturbate with a bandaid on
<SYch0> :(
<SYch0> cuz you might as well take a belt sander to your dick
<blazemore> what the fuck, sych0
<SYch0> :D |
#3389 (131/363) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ad0> anyone got monsters inc?
<Ad0> my gf wants to see it
<Idler> Ad0: No, but I got a monster in my pants
<Idler> and I bet your girlfriend wants to see that |
#3995 (82/219) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Donitz> Sleep! From Blamco! Its kinda like dying - but without the commitment! |
#6500 (100/272) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
-^cell^- how fast is your processor?
«tylor» 56k |
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