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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..337338339340341342343..599Next> |
#309816 (25/55) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<slamm> this porn im watching is using guiles theme as the music
<slamm> its true that it goes with everythingComment: #/g/tv rizon
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#310251 (51/125) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<fryerfly> there were a couple of guys on other courses i got on with
<fryerfly> some of our modules overlapped
<fryerfly> we had some good times playing lan games of halo
<fryerfly> except i kept winning
<fryerfly> which offended them
<fryerfly> eventually they declared we were going to have a match
<fryerfly> them vs me
<fryerfly> i was limited to an energy sword and a pistol
<fryerfly> they could use anything they liked
<fryerfly> i won
* fryerfly was never invited again |
#35133 (168/452) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kaltren> Puppies are cute, especially as steering wheel covers. |
#36883 (72/182) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
mistercow43: but I thought I'd tell you how insane I am
mistercow43: i find a hot dog in the fridge
mistercow43: I think
mistercow43: "ok, I'll have a cheese dog"
mistercow43: I look
mistercow43: no cheese, except parmesan
mistercow43: no hotdog buns
mistercow43: in fact
mistercow43: no bread except for pita and tortilla
mistercow43: so naturally
mistercow43: I fried an egg
mistercow43: put it on the hot dog
mistercow43: put some italian pasta sauce on it
mistercow43: and some parmesan cheese
mistercow43: and nuked it for 30 seconds
Narso310: LOL
Narso310: was it good?
mistercow43: yes
mistercow43: yes it was |
#39145 (81/207) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(@Wabz) Is it wrong to download Warez and then ask for help from the programs support forums? |
#42581 (80/208) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
SurrenderUrCow: in my 3rd period
SurrenderUrCow: i stuck a pencil down my pants
Micycle 13: LOL wtf
Micycle 13: why?
SurrenderUrCow: and made it look like i had a massive boner
Micycle 13: ROFL
SurrenderUrCow: then i stood up and walked over to my teacher
Micycle 13: so somebody says "hahah look at k0w poppin a b to the teacher"
SurrenderUrCow: handed her my planner and said as loud as i can, "I HAVE TO GOTO THE BATHROOM!"
Micycle 13: ROFL
SurrenderUrCow: it was so fucking hilarious, the teacher looked up and fell out of her chair |
#53594 (123/323) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<conrailto> any German speakers here?
<issq> i own a set of harmon kardensComment: #EFnet
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#61856 (156/418) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@ectweak> so
<@ectweak> I ordered a BLT
<@ectweak> and the girl behind the counter goes "do you want everything on it?"
<@ectweak> and I look at her and go "of course! I wouldn't have ordered a BLT if I didn't want bacon, lettuce, or tomato on it"
<@ectweak> and she goes "no, I mean like onions"
<@ectweak> and I stare at her for a few seconds
<@ectweak> and go "if I wanted onions, I'dve ordered a BLOT, not a BLT" |
#62385 (132/348) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<lemur> wow
<burgizzly> what?
<lemur> i just lamed myself out real baaad
<burgizzly> wqhy
<lemur> well you know how after you jerk off, you can't really pee straight?
<burgizzly> of course...
<lemur> yeah well that was happening to me, only i couldnt remember last time i'd jacked off.
<lemur> it was driving me fuckin nuts trying to work out when i could possibly have pleased myself.
<lemur> seriously
<lemur> like an hour later i was still really worried cause i thought i'd contracted some self-pleasuring split personality disorder thing!
<burgizzly> sooo?
<burgizzly> you worked it out?
<lemur> haha yeah i'd had sex like 20 minutes before :/
<burgizzly> fuck you |
#14257 (126/332) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@ScuzleBut> I was an athiest until I realized I was God. |
#18474 (138/362) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fryth> anyone seen the movie pi
<Murdock> I saw it 3.14 times. |
#19540 (93/239) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<nirv-> can you die from going to bed with wet hair?
<Steempy> If you sleep on live wires, sure
<arnoud> or if it is wet with gasoline, and take a smoke in bed?
<nirv-> heh
<nirv-> Who the hell would do that? ;p
<arnoud> no idea, but it is possible :-P
<Murrlin> nirv: I wouldnt put it past some americans :P
* NobleKale notes that if you wrote it on a warning label, someone would do it
<Murrlin> of course!
<Murrlin> warning labels - 'lets try it anyway!', nowadays :( |
#20560 (101/262) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Mr Markus White: So what are you doing online, criminal.
FerrusSoldad: Pirating mp3s.
Mr Markus White: One of those Napster frauds huh
FerrusSoldad: IRC.
Mr Markus White: Isn't that a hacker program |
#20959 (95/245) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nordling> Yes, the climax will be a Neo/Smith DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION dance off. |
#25611 (106/274) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sean> I could jack off to a barbie doll and it'd be the equivilant to jerking off to the girls in playboy
<Ronwe> sean: you've jerked off to a barbie doll?
<iTM> wtf
<Ronwe> that' just pathetic
<sean> yes, many MANY times
<Ronwe> I mean, I've done it to Charsi's ass in D2.. but never to a barbie doll
<Ronwe> and it was only once... too lazy to go find some decent porn to smack to
<Astro> lol
<iTM> Charsi's ass?
<Ronwe> yeah... it's tight and firm
<Ronwe> I'm not going to explain any more
<Ronwe> I'm already afraid of this making it to bash |
#27907 (114/298) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cyborgd17> this is fucked up, i hadn't jerked for about 1 week *out of boredom :|* and all these girls start flirting with me for some reason, then i finally free up some room in the ol' nutsack and i'm a loveless geek again! no-one comes near me....masturbation sends out bad vibes!
<twistoliver> you're such a fucktard, don't you know everytime that you masturbate, god kills a kitten
<hellyeh15> yeh, you must of killed their cats
<cyborgd17> that makes sense, cuz i've killed enough kittens to make a kitten bridge to the moon...and back
<jonbridgenash> wait wait wait...hold up.....girls? |
#28734 (107/279) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@jilt> my dad had to put that shit on my nut sack
<@jilt> and it burned
<@jilt> and i was going
<@jilt> BLOW ON IT!
<@jilt> and he was laughing going "hell no!" |
#32825 (104/270) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(+Genix) wtf
(+Genix) i just got a spam mail that claimed it would "shrink my penis"
(+BalefireX) did you read it?
(+Genix) :(
(+BalefireX) you didnt need to, did you...
(+Genix) of course it wasn't actually for what it said
(+Genix) it was a porn site
(+Genix) but none the less wtfComment: #gideontech
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#12746 (100/260) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ArtyMorty> we kill all the jehovah's witnesses once and for all, either we get some
peace and quiet or we get hit by lightning from a clear sky |
#13370 (124/328) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<HuStLe> Today I was was flirting with this hot girl in the halls after school but once again my computer screwed me over
<Netminder> How so?
<HuStLe> Well I was gettin far with her, then she me a secret about her and her ex, I went to laugh, but guess what came out.
<HuStLe> Me - "Laugh out Loud", I actually said laugh out loud. :( |
#13726 (82/210) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sumez> I must admit having two functional penises must have it advantages
<Darth-Phenom> You could fuck a woman and piss at the same time?
<Yolkhead> Would you really want to pee while having sex?
<Sumez> You miss to see the opportunities |
#14255 (111/295) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<D_Knight> I have return
<D_Knight> And i will not be denied(....dont ban again plz) |
#15603 (91/235) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** treker has joined #ircop
<treker> what is this channel for?
<_zenon> sex channel treker
<treker> AH, I see...
<treker> well then by all means, go ahead, have fun...i'll just go run some errands. |
#16012 (104/272) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
-Stevie-O- from what I hear, the average WebTV user makes it look like the average AOLer belongs in MIT |
#16138 (97/256) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Shea-> it makes me giggle like a giddy asian schoolgirl on a rainbow brite pony
<Shea-> mmmm pony. |
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