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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..327328329330331332333..599Next> |
#8397 (104/262) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<iora> i steal no hearts.
<iora> brains are more valuable on the black market. |
#8986 (100/249) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<czg> you're not gary larson
<Nekroe> czg... how the fuck do you know?
<czg> because I'm gary larson |
#10877 (116/294) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Vod> that sentence is even more screwed up than even mine usual are |
#11032 (109/275) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<jablowme> why do some people associate nerds with small cocks?
<Jonny-TD> so girls wont like nerds.....duh
<jablowme> those fucking fags. |
#103671 (80/198) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
WeenieBeenie419: tell me a joke
NeverWakeUp1229: Okay
NeverWakeUp1229: Kate, Dana and I are drunk at a bar. Who drives home and why?
WeenieBeenie419: umm... i dunno?
NeverWakeUp1229: I do, because women can't drive!
WeenieBeenie419: you prick
NeverWakeUp1229: Wait, this isn't Matt is it?
WeenieBeenie419: no, im his gf
NeverWakeUp1229: Oh good, I thought it was his mom
NeverWakeUp1229: bitch. |
#126580 (101/257) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<BURNING_HERO> I was looking through martial arts videos in YouTube because I like the read the comments. I saw this one that was all telling this guy he sucked because he didn't use ki energy and his video showed real ki powers and shit. So I checked it out and it was a video of him waving around at a candle to blow it out.
<BURNING_HERO> I left a comment asking how much Dragon Ball Z he watches.
<BURNING_HERO> He said: I hope to be like Kakarot in super saiyan form |
#239574 (285/755) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Dark_nite666> Lol, at my friend's birthday party
<Dark_nite666> It was all internet nerds
<Dark_nite666> and when his parents brought his cake out
<Dark_nite666> all it said was "The Game"
<Looce> LOL
<Dark_nite666> everyone in the room went "FUCK"
<Vidi> lmao
<Dark_nite666> then he proceeded to say the cake is a lie
<Dark_nite666> and they took it away
<Dark_nite666> and we all got ice cream and mountain dew >_> |
#301003 (120/304) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
The_Jack_of_Clubs: itll be all over reddit tomorrow
The_Jack_of_Clubs: and then digg the day after
The_Jack_of_Clubs: and then again on reddit in 3 months but not as popularly rated the second time |
#303058 (51/123) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DuClare> The presence of tech people is what made freenode really different
<DuClare> But these days I'm on #freenode helping people buy a dog kennel because they can't comprehend inches and feet |
#305955 (52/124) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< Ifrit> In a way I find it insulting
< Ifrit> If someone doesn't take the time to write full words while conversing with me, I find it disrespectful
< Ifrit> and respect them less
< Wabbit98> wtf |
#309691 (26/56) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(Earnestly) Arch is not the right distribution for you if you can't use Linux without a GUI environment.
(buhman) and what Earnestly said
(Earnestly) Not meaning to sound like an elitist-jerk
(buhman) by contrast, I do intend to sound like an elitist. |
#33366 (135/345) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<CaRaB3lla> god des..i love seeing you so bitchy!
<DesScorp> I know
<DesScorp> makes you horny, doesn't it?
<CaRaB3lla> makes me want to bend you over a barrel and have my way with you
<DesScorp> my asshole itches with anticipation
<DesScorp> wait
<DesScorp> that's the clap
<DesScorp> never mind
<KArmA-> I can see where you'd be confusedComment: #bifemunix on EFnet
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#33933 (115/291) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Serrated Sp00n: What the hell?
Serrated Sp00n: All I've thought about recently is penis and world domination.
Serrated Sp00n: I NEED GET LAID.
Serrated Sp00n: MUST REPRESS URGE TO RULE OVER HUMANITY.
xdev0luti0nx: Oh my god. Somebody better fuck you before you blow us all up with something. |
#39617 (85/211) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@FiYoG> the average human has 6 to 8 pounds of skin
<+Toba> wow
<Bog> how much is that?
<@FiYoG> I don't remember the kg conversion
<@FiYoG> it's like the weight of a hard drive and a halfComment: #hothardware on irc.burghcom.com
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#40757 (85/211) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<FlatEric> I'm bored
<FlatEric> where's my alcohol?
<nougatmachine> you could help me clean up dishes
<nougatmachine> that would give you something to do
<nougatmachine> I have a feeling that in the choice between booze and dishes, booze will win
* FlatEric looks to see how many dishes are in the sink
<FlatEric> yesComment: #macobserver, irc.hashmark.net
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#51058 (167/431) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* Zero7 has joined #Samus.co.uk
<PizzaBoy> Oh god, I just jacked off my cat.
<Dazzy[Comicing]> A tektite was humping my horse...
<Cinsu> ...
<Cinsu> Zero7
<Cinsu> Welcome to samus.co.uk |
#68207 (160/414) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
jingoisticbsnis: e^x is walking along and 42 goes running by screaming, "There's a differential operator at the end of the street! If he catches me, I'll be nothing!" So e^x goes up to the operator and says, "I'm e^x. You can't do anything to me!" And the operator says, "Hi, I'm d/dy." |
#68951 (167/431) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@semi> man
<@semi> i think i should turn my speakers down
<@zeppeh> or quit listening to nsync
<@semi> i cant tell if its gas from downing that soda or just the bass.
<@zeppeh> nsync doesn't have bass
<@semi> it has lance bass
<@semi> i mean
<@semi> fuck you.Comment: #brained irc.catheadlabs.com. also, I wasn't listening to nsync.
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#11969 (120/305) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<blitzoid> Goddamn... skid marks on underwear are bad, but you know you've been sitting for too long when you see them on your chair. |
#13477 (99/248) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<MrMonkey> Erdrick: I speak your language a lot better than I speak yours, ok? |
#14221 (120/304) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sierro> I took her out for lunch...
<Sierro> to McDonalds
<Sierro> I feel like a 15 year old
<phantom> hehe, where ya gonna get one at 4am? |
#14318 (93/232) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Bug> (That really happened to a friend of mine. Her pitbull used her friend's dildo as a rawhide bone..) |
#14343 (102/256) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Paveourroads> in a multiplayer game, you can be all, "Look, I have cooler shit than you." in a singleplayer game, you're like, "OK, my stuff is cool." and you show people who come over to your house and they're like, "You're a loser." so you cry and die. >:( |
#15470 (101/253) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Milphey> everytime i think pyee can't get any gayer he opens his mouth and manage to put another cock in it |
#16747 (117/296) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<whistler> I PLANNED IF WE WERE BOMBED BY CANADA
<whistler> I PLANNED IF BIG BIRD TOOK OVER THE WORLD
<whistler> BUT THE ONE THING I NEVER PLAN FOR ALWAYS HAPPENS |
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