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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..324325326327328329330..599Next> |
#8227 (100/248) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** Adee is now known as Elvis
<Elvis> Ah huh huh..
<Electric> Here, have a cheeseburger :)
<Electric> Now go take some drugs and sit on the toilet...
*** Elvis has quit IRC (Quit: )
<Electric> It worked! |
#8438 (114/286) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cactoid> my god, the new lara croft has enormous gonzagas
<cactoid> i wonder if she goes for overweight australian it professionals |
#8670 (111/277) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<|Spanky|> peeing your pants it like happiness
<|Spanky|> everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth |
#8767 (91/225) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<undrewb> I keep telling you, you can come work for me
<MMouse> what would i be doing?
<Tippytoes> cleaning his house
<undrewb> delphi programming :)
<MMouse> urgh
<MMouse> would i have to learn delphi? |
#9544 (108/270) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sco0ter> kelly osbourne is hot
<Eficent> i would hit it
<Carface> I would hit it
<Carface> In the face with a sledgehammer |
#33402 (138/350) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Frylock: that was the best conversation ever!
Pie: what was?
Frylock: i was getting stoned at a friends house last night, so i called him a few hours ago to pick me up and i asked where he was and he says "jail, where are you?"
Pie: lol
Frylock: "WHAT?!" "I'm in jail, the place with the cops and the prisoners"
Pie: lol o_oComment: True Story...He got out the same night.
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#33453 (131/327) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Hamhocks> if taking a huge shit is anything like playing chess, consider me the next garry kasparov |
#52438 (100/248) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Anagon> me,mimi and aaron drinking outside pub
<Anagon> girl comes over selling LED pendants
<Anagon> asks if i wanted to buy one for my girlfriend
<Anagon> "she's worth a pound fifty isn't she?"
<Anagon> and i hate getting heckled, specially using a girl against me
<Anagon> so i replied "i dunno.. how about 1 pound forty nine?"
<Anagon> managed to piss them both off at once ;p
<_Mj> lol
* Anagon got her it in the end |
#61291 (153/389) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@csqrl> i think when i have my first interview for mykoala
<@csqrl> the first question i'm going to ask
<@csqrl> is do you type on your keyboard or do you dance with your fingers
<@csqrl> just to catch them off guard
<@csqrl> then if they answer that they dance with their fingers
<@csqrl> i'm going to say i was just being silly, that's a stupid answer
<@csqrl> and if they say they type on their keyboard, i'm going to say so do 8th graders in keyboarding class
<@csqrl> the answer i would expect is a completely different response outside of the two choices
<@csqrl> something original, like i swim with my hands over an alphabet oceanComment: #geekissues
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#77923 (222/576) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SpaceHobo> Hi, asl.
<xkcd> HUMOROUS COMBINATION OF IMPROBABLE AGE SEX AND LOCATION
<SpaceHobo> ACRONYM WHICH COULD INDICATE VOLUME OF AFFECTION OR VOLUME OF RISIBILITY
<xkcd> CONTINUING SELF-REFERENTIAL META-JOKE WHICH SHOWS THAT I AM WITTY BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT SOMEONE WOULD TRADITIONALLY SAY HERE AND AM REPEATING A DESCRIPTION OF IT IN CAPS
<SpaceHobo> CONDESCENDING BREAK FROM META-JOKE IN ORDER TO AFFECT CONFUSED UNSPOKEN OBJECTION TO SURFACE BEHAVIOR
<xkcd> CONTINUING APPEAL TO FURTHER JOKE-BREAKING, POSSIBLY WITH A SHOCKING SEXUAL COMPONENT, IN A DESPERATE SEARCH FOR HUMOR
<SpaceHobo> UNINTERESTED INVOCATION OF INFOBOT FACTOID, IN ATTEMPT TO MAINTAIN FOCUS OF ATTENTION WHILE HAVING THE LAST WORD
<xkcd> INCREASED SELF-REFLECTION. CONTEMPLATION OF WHERE LIFE BEGAN TO GO WRONG. SOCIAL WITHDRAWAL POSSIBLY ACCOMPANIED BY MOUNTING SUBSTANCE ABUSE. |
#37537 (82/202) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DReW24> ugh, it's so hard to find a place that puts messages on shirts.
<DReW24> all I want
<DReW24> is a t-shirt that says "daddy's little whore" on it
<DReW24> and some bitch at Copy Machine was like, "I don't think your father would approve of that" |
#38627 (93/235) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Chaos> omg i was about to kill myself but this rom saved me
<Yutz> Heh
<Yutz> When there are suicidal people in any chat, I'm a dude that's telling them to go for it
<Yutz> Because I'm a bastard
<Chaos> Yutz: Because you're the one rational enough to know they won't do it.
<Chaos> And then if they did, it'd kinda be funny when their head slumps onto the keyboard and they just keep typing "hhhhhhhhhhhhhh" for an hour |
#39526 (92/228) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< The_Q> su - 9070b574c12
< The_Q> aww man. ignore that -- it's not my root password!!!!!
-!- The_Q [~xxx@xxx] has quit ["0wned"]
-!- The_Q [~xxx@xxx has joined #channel]
< The_Q> Hey, wtf happened to my box?!?! |
#42637 (124/314) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Hay> OMG today in biology
<Hay> i was looking through my biology book
<Hay> and it had a BIG picture of 2 Blue Footed Boobies (birds)
<Hay> and i showed the teacher and said "Aren't those a nice pair of boobies?" |
#44075 (158/406) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok. |
#45485 (104/260) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<synth> ONE DAY ILL HAVE SEX RAAB
<Raab> if you take x, its really hard not to
<Raab> or just slip her a roofie
<synth> i slipped off a roof onceComment: #dt on irc.zirc.org - Come visit ^_^
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#48809 (135/343) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nyschashi-Seikun> wow
<Nyschashi-Seikun> this chick is REALLY fucked up
<Nyschashi-Seikun> she draws dickgirls repeatedly assdrilling men
<Nyschashi-Seikun> I don't think I like porn anymore
<Nyschashi-Seikun> and suddenly all thoughts of sex and nudity are beginning to make me sick
<Nyschashi-Seikun> I don't even want to see myself naked anymore
<Konpeito> You are weird.
<Nyschashi-Seikun> now that I think of it
<Nyschashi-Seikun> I might just be sick from drinking too much hot sauce |
#50008 (143/365) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Jake> to fix it
<@Jake> type //say $decode(aGkgDQogcXVpdCA6aW0gZ2F5,m)
<Curse_of_Dragon> hi
* Quits: Curse_of_Dragon (~FrankFami@default-ECC5559A.neb.res.rr.com) (QUIT: im gay)
* Joins: Curse_of_Dragon (~FrankFami@default-ECC5559A.neb.res.rr.com)
<Curse_of_Dragon> what was that about?
<@Jake> you did it wrong
<@Jake> try again
<Curse_of_Dragon> hi
* Quits: Curse_of_Dragon (~FrankFami@default-ECC5559A.neb.res.rr.com) (QUIT: im gay)
* Joins: Curse_of_Dragon (~FrankFami@default-ECC5559A.neb.res.rr.com)
<Curse_of_Dragon> for some reason mirc keeps quitting
<Curse_of_Dragon> i'll try it again because i dont think i did it right
<Curse_of_Dragon> hi
* Quits: Curse_of_Dragon (~FrankFami@default-ECC5559A.neb.res.rr.com) (QUIT: im gay)
* Joins: Curse_of_Dragon (~FrankFami@default-ECC5559A.neb.res.rr.com)Comment: ..noobs.
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#55217 (150/384) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<imprfect> So my mum ended up calling me and asked me to come over her.
<imprfect> *Here! HERE! HERE DAMMIT! |
#92436 (233/607) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nyschashi-Seikun> so yeah, I downloaded this random porno
<Nyschashi-Seikun> and it's a black porn movie
<Nyschashi-Seikun> and out of nowhere
<Nyschashi-Seikun> they start rapping
<Nyschashi-Seikun> and this skinny white guy, who is apparently the producer
<Nyschashi-Seikun> pops on screen with them
<Nyschashi-Seikun> and dances as they rap
<Nyschashi-Seikun> ;/ |
#113791 (61/147) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<druggy> i heard something about the us army having some solvers of battlefield problems which behave like rts bots
<longshock> so they stockpile resources then do wave after wave of tank rushes? |
#133746 (50/118) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mr_flea> you know you're too used to working in a shell when you try to tab-complete your password.Comment: #decorum on freenode
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#150040 (234/610) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Erica: Boy name is Easton Thomas. But i got sucked into that. Lol
uuang: Did your boyfriend choose it?
Erica: Yes. He likes the first name cuz he likes basebal and It's a name brand for baseball equipment.
uuang: oh god.. im sorry thats a terrible reason to choose a name. I love mac and cheese but im not naming any kids I have Kraft. |
#205808 (215/561) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sektor> to the quote site, David!
<Neko> bash?
<Neko> qdb?
<Neko> i mean there isnt alot of selection, especially since it seems the tards working at both taking goddamn years to accept quotes
<Neko> its like they go through the entire american legal system to determine if something is amusing
<Neko> whats worse is half the quotes are terrible
<Neko> which i guess reflects it perfectly.Comment: ircstorm #teen-chat
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#307156 (61/147) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Pizzicato: In my head, the way the defence budget in the states is handled is some dude pules up to a drive-thru window at a huge factory and a voice crackles over the intercom
Pizzicato: 'Hi, welcome to the DoD! How can I help you?'
Pizzicato: The guys looks at the menu and goes 'Uhhhhhhhh I'll take....2,433 F-35s, 30 Virginia class submarines, a fleet of V-22s, FA-18EFs, and another fleet of EA-18Gs'.
Pizzicato: Then the dude on the intercom says 'Okay, that will be 137 billion dollars, please pull around to the second window!'Comment: #EquestriaAfterDark on GeekShed (irc.geekshed.net)
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