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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..321322323324325326327..599Next> |
#156 (160/405) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<||CHAOS||> they just jumped into bed when i showed them how i added a speaker to my ti-83 |
#461 (112/279) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Theseus> get the free like 10 CDs they give you
<Theseus> then write a letter to them signed under your parents name saying you burned all those satan music CDs, and to never send mail to that address again |
#652 (145/367) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TrUSoLDiA> since when was linux free? |
#1195 (121/302) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Guilty> My friends cousin's mom told her kids that if you cursed online the police came to arrest you
<Guilty> So they would type like "Go to h!ll!" |
#2575 (123/308) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jv8> programming has destroyed my ability to speak English |
#2755 (132/331) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Nick-spy> MY ROOSTER RAN AWAY! SOMEONE GRAB MY COCK! |
#4482 (127/316) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<CabbagePatchKid> I AM THE PHYSICAL INCARNATION OF FEAR
<andy> Who knew evil would be so chubby.
<CabbagePatchKid> You can change my diaper too. JUST LIKE A REAL BABY.
<CabbagePatchKid> YES WRITHE IN TERROR, MEAGER HUMANS. |
#6229 (130/326) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<aXo> What an amazing weekend I had! I ate thirteen TV dinners, jacked off sixteen times and consumed one alcoholic beverage all without moving from this chair. I'm about to watch Godfather Part 3, then eat a bag of Doritos and pass out in a pool of my own saliva. |
#7539 (115/286) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< ryll > "putting the 'fun' back into fundamentalism, and the 'laughter' back into sectarian slaughter" |
#8009 (116/289) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@fragility> why is my modems "activity" lite flashing like crazy??
*** fragility (fragility@lsanca1-ar14-4-47-119-104.lsanca1.dsl-verizon.net) Quit (Ping timeout) |
#8153 (116/288) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Naivete> hey joe, if you suck at UO pvp, SAY ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
<Kiler> rofl
*** Joe_ is now known as Imkillingyou
*** Imkillingyou is now known as nexttimeiseeyou |
#10705 (115/285) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Xellchiri> BFS, I have a message for you
<BloodFromStone> A message for me?
<BloodFromStone> From whom?
<Xellchiri> Darthie
<Xellchiri> "May you be cursed with the flatulence of a rabid camel."
<BloodFromStone> Xell: Hrmm... I find myself uninjured by her attacks. =P
* Xellchiri rolls 1d20 :: 8
<Xellchiri> yeah, she missed |
#11588 (101/250) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<pfk> oh its may 21st..almost time for my bath |
#84297 (107/265) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<stac> ...
<stac> wtf
<stac> i just called a mate in the office
<stac> he picks up and informs me that he is in the toilet taking a crap
<stac> i tell him i'll call later
<stac> and he says "no no, we can talk. it will be a longer session"Comment: mWtNet/#sporks
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#117880 (94/230) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jesse_> i had a dream that it was Ninja Day
<Jesse_> and google was totally celebrating it
<Jesse_> they didn't just change their logo -- they changed their page background to black too, and handed out Ninja Day shirts to as many tech people as they could find
<ct^> Oh that would rock.
<ct^> Quick, email them. |
#299423 (66/158) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@jpn> "Most UK radio stations are now having to censor the word 'sex' in the line 'birthday sex' replacing 'sex' with the word 'ssh' making it say 'birthday ssh'. This change has occured quite recently as orignally radio stations were free to play the uncensored version."
<@WorstQEvr> do you get birthday ssh when you turn port 22 |
#303989 (20/42) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MurderMachine> Okay so,
<MurderMachine> My resits so far
<MurderMachine> Have been interesting.
<Magnus> orly
<MurderMachine> Yes.
<MurderMachine> I had a question about yeast and part of it was to list why it can be bad for humans.
<MurderMachine> To start with, I rambled on about yeast infections, thrush, etc., but then I really wanted more.
<MurderMachine> So I wracked my brains and wrote, I shit you not:
<MurderMachine> "Well, if you think about it, yeast indirectly contributes to alcohol abuse. Alcoholism, and therefore yeast, destroys lives."
<MurderMachine> Even if they don't see the funny side, it's a valid point. |
#34482 (127/317) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rjx> ah shit
<Rjx> I just accidently called my girlfriend fatComment: #geekissues
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#36334 (81/197) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rjx> perl code is incredibly hard to read
<Moot> Rjx: only if its written well |
#52046 (145/367) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[@turk]: asked my boss for a raise at work
[@turk]: if (!$raise) { /quit } |
#59054 (144/364) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<AKMask> [...] So im out the road at a bonfire with a bunch of guys. Eagle Beach, great bonfire, 35 pallets. I end up in the woods going at it with this girl i meet there. My 'friends' decide it would be a great idea to toss my pants in the bonfire. I had to drive 35 miles back to town with my ass exposed. it sucked. |
#11849 (112/278) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MelissaGod> lol, I accidentally just flushed the toilet and the pipe for the toilets was off in the basement and mine and everyone elses urine went all over
<MelissaGod> wills parents not happy :(
<MelissaGod> i thought it was funny but i tried my hardest not to laugh
<TheSpatulaOfLove> well
<TheSpatulaOfLove> that's a greeting
<MelissaGod> the people in the basement with mine and everyone elses urine on them were not please
<MelissaGod> ho hum
<MelissaGod> pleased*
<MelissaGod> just thought i'd share
<MelissaGod> gotta go match socks...
* MelissaGod has quit IRC (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
<Ouroboros> Um.
<Arilyn> hahaha
<Ouroboros> I think it's safe to say that E-van doesn't date her for her intelligence. |
#13487 (101/250) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Zeratul-SK> Cello, I'm tired of you in the top of the users list. :P
<Cellosoft> zer, I'm tired of you on the User list |
#15508 (94/229) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<fff> back when my ancestors were apes, they were better than your ancestor apes
<fff> my ape ancestors had richer culture than your ape ancestors
<fff> although when our ancestors were amoeba, i'll concede your amoeba ancestors were smarter than mine |
#15624 (101/250) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<rtwh0> why are you upset?
<sugadon> who the hell says i was god damn upset? huh?
<rtwh0> umm never mind
<sugadon> i hate people who spread god damn rumors, muther fucker , god damn |
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