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#244791 (655/863) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TerrorBite> Parse error: parse error, unexpected spanish inquisition in /var/www/index.php on line 51
<NotoriousOIT> bwaha
<kazin> I'm sure the author wasn't expecting that.
#308490 (132/168) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<PyroPyro> a guy just fax'd me a paper with text "i dont know how this works i will just email the doc to you"
#178767 (366/478) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@michai> who is the samba guru here
<@LexMortis> not you.
<@michai> anyone with a constructive answer perhaps..? :)
<@LexMortis> not me.
#79449 (442/580) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kwahraw> we thought it was funny to use the pay phones to dial the tampax tampon hotline....
<Kwahraw> and ask random, annoying questions
<Kwahraw> so, once i call up, and, in my best 'girl' voice, I say "ever since I began using your product, my period's been green..."
<Kitten> what the ..
<Kwahraw> she replies "young man, if you have a period at all, you need to see a doctor"
Comment: irc.austirc.org #austirc
#69593 (449/589) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@SyRuS> err
<@SyRuS> question guys
<@SyRuS> really important question
<@Cold0ne> yes, you are gay
<@SyRuS> how to i change the "author" of a word document
<@SyRuS> i need to change it from "fuck microsoft"
<@SyRuS> when i select file in explorer it says fuck microsoft in status bar
<@Cold0ne> lollll
<@SyRuS> i applied for like 5 jobs allready
<@SyRuS> no chance ;x
<@Cold0ne> AAAAAHAHAHHA
<@Cold0ne> SELF PWNED
<Funky_> hahaha SyRuS
<@SyRuS> ;l
#61310 (393/515) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< niteshad> Every so often, a van from Corporate will pull up and drop off a load of gear that's surplus, overstock and returns.
< niteshad> Can't be sold as new so they give it to the employees.
< paul> hah
< niteshad> The only caveat is that they don't want to see us selling it on ebay, etc.
< niteshad> However, giving it to friends is perfectly acceptable in Corporate's eyes.
< paul> can you give it away in exchange for sexual favors?
< niteshad> They didn't say anything explicitly forbidding that so, I assume the answer is yes.
< paul> awesome
< paul> well...
< niteshad> That said, paul, in your case, the answer is no.
#48605 (437/573) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Trinity_Quasar> Quick, give me your extended (a few sentences) views on teen pregnancy for my socio work it's due in tomorrow. :-/!
<LionsPhil> "I think teen pregancy is largely due to unpreparedness. Much like the kind of unpreparedness which sees one writing an essay the night before it is due and having to ask for help on the Internet."
#44923 (299/389) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CAPS-LOCK> And now for some good news... Remember that HD I was whining about? I managed to get the drive up and running long enough to get the data off of it.
<CAPS-LOCK> I did so by stuffing paperclips down the hollow stubs of the power pins, removing a power connector block and exposing the wires, and using alligator clips to connect the power wires to the ends of the paperclips
<CAPS-LOCK> \o/
<Pliong> that's impressively ghetto
#68742 (427/561) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kaiser> how much weight can a donkey handle?
<Tsuta> kaiser: depends on the donkey
<kaiser> the standard donkey
<Tsuta> I bet anywhere from 10 to 250 lbs
<Tsuta> whytf do you need to know, anyways, kaiser?
<kaiser> i wanna know how much an assload is
#33761 (461/607) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Shav|DDR> Gonna meet a friend I haven't seen in months
<Mayseth> The sun?
#34044 (717/949) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jyrka> The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
#59780 (2324/3110) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Toba> how can you be decidedly and forcefully indifferent?
<est> I DON'T CARE
Comment: #qc
#59187 (531/699) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<drzoot> funniest thing thats happened all day (its been a slow day), i just got a new dell poweredge 2850 server, so i open all the cartons, smell that new smell and then start going through the included cds. one of them is a quick install cd for windows server 2003 (im using it cause ive been told to not cause i want to). so i pop in the quick install cd to see how that goes and it boots isolinux and launches me into a x11 based windows quick install / config shell
<Ronz> you mean windows supports linux...?
<drzoot> no i mean dell has decided that its easier to do all the configuration and setup using linux and just copy the files over rather than actually use the windows installer
Comment: #gentoo
#54312 (398/522) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<markos_64> GreyKnight: any idea on what to do with a router that screams on contact with holy water?
<markos_64> it seems to have real fun dropping, duping, or delaying my packets
<GreyKnight> Carefully open the cover
<GreyKnight> Poke inside with a screwdriver
<GreyKnight> Dodge any sparks and/or angry ancestors
<markos_64> Bob already suggested that i use a hammer
<GreyKnight> Then, replace the cover
<GreyKnight> and very very carefully
<GreyKnight> sell it on eBay to some poor sucker and buy a new one with the proceeds
<markos_64> shut the fuck up. i already bought it on internet auction.
<markos_64> i'm not going to ever do it again.
<GreyKnight> See? It worked for the previous owner.
#44998 (203/263) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Josho> can't believe i fit so much shit in the dishwasher
<@Josho> tetris skills paying off
#39781 (356/466) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<phil> alright, guess what song i'm drumming on my keyboard
<phil> jhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhjhj
<ecks> wipeout....
<phil> wtf how'd you know?
<ecks> we're at a LAN party and you're sitting right behind me, dumbass
<phil> touche sir, touche
#32511 (9485/12787) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Feeks) Hey can anyone help me I've been building a computer?
(@Wabz) Whats up?
(Feeks) Well i built it but it wont turn on
(@Wabz) Is the PSU connected to the board and harddrive etc
(Feeks) Yeah I'm not fucking stupid
(@Wabz) lol ok then, can you hear the fan on the PSU?
(Feeks) Yeah so it's turned on ya fucking muppet
(@Wabz) Fair enough then
(@Wabz) There should be a little red switch on the back of the PSU saying 240
(Feeks) Yeah man
(Feeks) ???  Hurry up some of us dont have all day
(@Wabz) OK OK lol push it over so it says 115 and you'll get more power going to the board
(Feeks) Then Plug it in?
(@Wabz) Yeah
(KLine) hehe :)
@Wabz puts his fingers in his ears
(Feeks) You fucking bastard you blew it up
(@Wabz) No i told you how to blow it up
(@Wabz) You blew it up
(Feeks) Fucker!!
(@Wabz) !kb Feeks
&#8212;&#8250; mode: (Wanda) sets (+b *!*@host213-122-140-17.in-addr.btopenworld.com)
Comment: Why n00bs should be nice to IRC vetrans
#31330 (482/634) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jim_McNeat> Is there like a way to put a compiler in "Just trust me on that one" mode?
#29445 (439/577) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BlazeHedgehog> For a few seconds when AOL first loads it displays the wrong image with the wrong headline on the front page
<BlazeHedgehog> So it's got this guy kneeling at the WTC Memorial, crying, headline reads "HILLARY DUFF'S NEW CD RELEASED"
#29205 (575/759) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fucker"
#311648 (47/57) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ericwood> there's a special place in my heart for americanized chinese food
<Cipher-0> Those are angina pains, ericwood.
#311315 (41/49) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<haq> so you get thermal cycling outside the projected envelopes, plus RoHS lead free solder means all your ball soldered components eventually crack away from the boards
<haq> i would strangle the last whale to death with a dorito bag if i could get real solder back in electronics
#297256 (592/782) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mr_Nobu> So what if Jesus turned water into wine...I turned a whole student loan into Vodka once. Your move Jesus...
#301596 (452/594) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Larscis> How long do most printers last?
< Larscis> Because my HP Photosmart 3310 from 2006 finally died today.  Quite spectacularly.
< Tamber> oh?
< Larscis> Yes.  The seal on the ink resevoir broke through
< Larscis> And the pressure the pump built up caused the ink to spray all over the inside of the printer.
< Larscis> Never before have I had a printer attempt to demonstrate to me what happens with a burst aorta.
#295036 (452/594) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ExZippo> what the FUCK
<ExZippo> i found my "secret santa" end of radio school gift, still wrapped
<ExZippo> i think I missed a chance with kendall o_O
<ExZippo> "Purple Ronnie's Little Kama Sutra" book
<ExZippo> with "text me sometime if you need a hand with any of them" written on the inside cover
<ExZippo> o___________O
<ExZippo> fuck
<ExZippo> 4 years too late on that one
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