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#294875 (543/713) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Pyro> I turn on GTA IV
<Pyro> steal a police cruiser
<Pyro> and sit around and watch for traffic violations
<Pyro> then I pull them over
<Pyro> and shoot them in the face
<Chroder> i think that's the modern version of pulling-legs-off-frogs
<Chroder> you're gonna be a serial killer |
#303421 (822/1084) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<boikpark> The guy was found dead in his apartment with his penis in a jar of peanut butter, apparently.
<Sohcahtoa> Well it sounds like that guy...
* Sohcahtoa puts on his sunglasses
<Sohcahtoa> ...was fucking nuts.
<Sohcahtoa> YYYYEEEAAAAAHHHHH |
#264456 (776/1024) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< bsmntbombdood> StumbleUpon has temporarily run out of sites relevant to you. Please sign up for more topics.
< bsmntbombdood> wtf!
< bsmntbombdood> i've run out of internet! |
#143405 (639/841) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< mrpull> my little boy (finally) made the transition from diapers to "big boy" underwear. On his first day back to pre-school he dropped trou and showed the whole class his Lightning McQueens.
< mrpull> and it created a domino effect of 3YRO's showing their undies
< mrpull> I didn't see it, but it looks hilarious in my mind |
#243532 (411/537) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
stephen: i win bitch
reese: i was lagging
stephen: wtf
reese: yeah dude total lag
stephen: we were playing chess... |
#154728 (257/333) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fox> I did a job in a house completely totaled by katrina today
<Fox> everything was ruined, destroyed, broken, except one thing
<Fox> a goku figurine |
#306020 (182/234) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<gde33> When reading ##politics I'm always amazed how smart people are in all the other channels. |
#29881 (407/531) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Queued-W> Of course, there are already puzzles without pictures on the front
<Minstrel> Queued: you have to turn the pieces over
<Queued-W> I'll be damned, it's a kitten |
#69556 (436/570) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Cin> Why do grandparents have no sense of time?
<Teshi> It goes so slowly for them.
<TheFoundation> it's a well known fact that as you grow older, your velocity approaches the speed of light
<TheFoundation> that's why old people always appear to move slowly, and shrink in size |
#34236 (504/660) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<unchellmatt> weewoo: I had a spammer pissed at me for reporting her "Free Psychic Readings" mailings and getting her shut down. She flames me with "If you didn't want the mail, why didn't you just reply and ask to be removed?!?!"
<unchellmatt> I replied "You're the fucking psychic.... YOu figure it out" |
#10739 (479/626) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Spoon casts Wall of Silence
*** Spoon sets mode: +m
<Goku> why?
<Spoon> Because exo went insane
<Goku> no, he just brought his insanity up to another level
* Sentinel checks..
*** Sentinel sets mode: -m
<exogen> THERE'S BUTTER ON MY FACE!
*** Sentinel sets mode: +m |
#32206 (463/607) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<rosonowski> Hah! I love slashdot sometimes.
<rosonowski> You know the old manta "Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity?"
<rosonowski> Someone replied to it "If you know of a better way to make more virgins, I'd like to hear it." |
#31917 (439/575) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DrBacchus> fajita: RFC 2795
<fajita> DrBacchus: excuse me?
<DrBacchus> fajita: You're supposed to give me a link.
<fajita> DrBacchus: i'm not following you...
<DrBacchus> dumb bot
<fajita> Stupid human |
#31565 (539/709) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<by> Is there anyway I can tell the world I'm an idiot?
<Seven7> Of course, just type your name, where you live and your confession
<by> Kk
<by> I am Mark Duval of Belgium, and I am an idiot
<by> ?
<by> Now what?
<Seven7> Don't worry. It's done |
#299617 (384/502) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kollapse> There's just something creepy about an abandoned mental institution.
<Viperlin> kollapse: i'd say its creepier if your getting wifi there |
#84998 (611/805) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CtrlAltDestroy> Here is my impression of Wikipedia.
<CtrlAltDestroy> "There are five fingers on the human hand [citation needed]" |
#88403 (578/760) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<[ka]killer> what if you just took all the servers on the internet and networked them all together....
<[ka]killer> wait...
<[ka]killer> never mind. |
#103238 (438/574) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fathom> Zoe: Would you prefer a woman with a healthy amount of body, or some calista flockhartish hussy who eats a few lettuce leaves for lunch every day?
<Zoe> I prefer men, quite frankly |
#296743 (379/495) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dd7> kid's a genius
<dd7> the paper on his desk had a beautiful drawing of some fucked up temple with trees growing out of it and shit
<dd7> turned it over and saw a page full of sql diagrams |
#310545 (125/159) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<excron> When I mentioned IRC to my therapist he put away his notebook and got out his calendar. |
#301550 (78/98) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ryg> some architectures seriously make you want to staple your palm to your face to save yourself a lot of effort |
#295469 (432/566) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Stueh> This has been the last hour for me:
<Stueh> "Windows Update needs to install an update for Windows Update. Please click the Download and Install button to download and install the update for Windows Update."
Stueh laughs
<Stueh> "Windows Update cannot connect to the internet."
Stueh cries
<Stueh> The ethernet driver is now mysteriously not installed anymore.
Stueh screams
<Stueh> "Windows cannot locate a driver for your ethernet card. Would you like Windows to connect to Windows Update and find a driver for you?" |
#310171 (81/101) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kmc> I like telling people who've only used high level languages about the bizarre forms of undefined behavior in C, and then ending it with "this language and its relatives are used for most systems in planes, cars, medical devices, nuclear reactors, etc." |
#309287 (94/118) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Loxus> I fell for my own prank..
<Loxus> I had made a hidden folder on one of my hard drives named 'XXX'
<Loxus> when I opened it, there were only a text file named 'HAHA! Nothing here'
<Loxus> and I forgot that I did that. :P |
#304051 (274/356) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Recnilgiarc> In about 5% of patients, it can instead cause inadvertent orgasms when yawning.
<@Recnilgiarc> this shit is going to be awesome |
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