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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..315316317318319320321..599Next> |
#11473 (110/269) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<largo`> my client thought an swf extension stood for "single white female" |
#146217 (241/615) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Kefka> FAT32
<Kefka> That's what file system my body uses
<Kefka> :( |
#151878 (107/261) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
process hijack: why do they ship computers with norton on them?
process hijack: thats like shipping toilets with shit already in them
lbreeves2: lmfao
lbreeves2: so whats mcafee? shipping them with stagnant piss in there?
process hijack: yeah something alot the lines of that |
#242982 (179/449) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
keegan: has anyone made a "Super Lehman Bros" videogame yet?
keegan: you jump and hit the block but instead of coins falling out you get worthless mortgage-backed securities
keegan: also put expensive suits on mario and luigi |
#295884 (157/391) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< withnail> i wonder
< withnail> if anyone has ever put </body> on a tombstone |
#300865 (97/235) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<MonopolyMan> man i havent even talked in here in days jeez
<Thadd> too busy fapping
<KillaB> powerfapping
<Thadd> he reminds me of a hermit crab
<Thadd> how one arm is bigger than the other |
#301186 (112/274) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<logicus_> hey hello, i found the followoing set intuitively appealing {{ }, {{ }}, {{ }, {{ }}}, {{ }, {{ }}, {{ }, {{ }}}}, {{ }, {{ }}, {{ }, {{ }}}, {{ }, {{ }}, {{ }, {{ }}}}}}, is there a mathematical reason?
<Polytope> is schizophrenia a mathematical reason? |
#302711 (33/73) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Mike: this morning i had speech class, there was a talent show for extra credit
Mike: at the end the teacher got up and said he'd like to show us one of his talents
Mike: asked for a couple of volunteers
Mike: "i used to practice ju jitsu..."
Mike: he then proceeded to put a student in a choke hold |
#305249 (75/177) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
xxx: Is it just me or is Windos a misnomer?
Jef: ?
xxx: WinDOS
xxx: Win Disk Operating System
xxx: Whilst it isn't Win at all.
Jef: I thought it was windows.
xxx: What should we name your new operating system? Hmm, well, there is a window....
xxx: wait
xxx: Oh wow
xxx: There is a W there
xxx: That invalidates 3 years worth of thought |
#305532 (40/90) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ana> i lied to hypno last night about contractions
<ana> but he is handling everything with calm
<ana> so he kept eating while looking at me
<ana> and i couldn't keep it serious for long enough
<ana> he said he will never believe me again
<Ultali> ana do they not have the story about the preggers girl who cried wolf in Romania?
<ana> yes we do
<Elleo> in Romania wolves are traditional midwives, so it has a whole different interpretation |
#307814 (61/143) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+Raija> what does it feel like to use a penis, though?
<Skarlet> wuh?
<Skarlet> you don't know?
<Fritz> It feels awesome!
<+Raija> I mean, what does it feel like to fuck something with a penis
<Fritz> The power of the world in the palm if your hand |
#309308 (44/94) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< vanu> what if like
< vanu> the higgs boson is the heart of a particle
< vanu> and it gives them mass because that is what keeps them ATTRACTED TO OTHERS
< vanu> oh shit
< vanu> i've solved it
<@sta|ker> no
<@sta|ker> you're juset high
< vanu> I'VE SOLVED IT ALL |
#310795 (16/32) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<PFY> We should have a tattoo like the scarlet letter
<PFY> "I deployed on a friday"
<PFY> that way you knew what you were getting into at interviews |
#33976 (131/323) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Serrated Sp00n: WHY THE HELL DO I CRAVE MUNCHIES? WHY AM I LOSING MY COGNITIVE MEMORY?
Serrated Sp00n: I AM NOT A STONER.
Serrated Sp00n: AND YET I AM ACTING LIKE ONE.
Serrated Sp00n: AND GETTING NONE OF THE FRINGE BENIFITS. |
#34059 (123/303) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<SilverTallest> ABSTINENCE! NOBODY'S DOING IT!Comment: irc.starfusion.org
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#34213 (142/352) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<becky> 18 f* Pic on Profile
<kari> hey becky?.. what does * mean?
<martha> kari, it means she hasnt completed her operation yet |
#34693 (150/374) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Fragas> did u have fun at the deb party mr hinton?
<Hinton> yer
<Hinton> the afterparty was shit tho
<Hinton> a bunch of greasy wogs playing doof doof till 5am
<Fragas> lol.......maybe im naive, but whats doof doof?
<Hinton> techno
<Fragas> oh......ooooooooooh
<Fragas> i thought it was a sex game |
#38306 (97/235) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< zYpurv> omg
< zYpurv> now i know what i am going to do with this property i'm gonna inherit
< zYpurv> a female-only apartment house for students
< zYpurv> of course
< Marax> with hidden cams
< zYpurv> and a 'private' pool on the roof
< Marax> and machineguns
< zYpurv> and a robot
< Marax> in case their really big boyfriends finds the cams
< zYpurv> nah i'll make the robot a sex toy and then they won't want boyfreinds anymoreComment: Ahh, geek dreams....
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#39053 (93/225) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ASM57> im confused, whats the difference between router/switch/hub?
<David-63> www.google.com
<ASM57> dave
<ASM57> google it for me please
<ASM57> and then give me the link
<Bog> andrew, the router routes
<Bog> the switch switches
<Bog> the hub doesn't hub though
<ASM57> Bog, you're no helpComment: #HotHardware on irc.UltraPresence.net (RigNet)
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#40004 (87/213) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Segosa> i'm eating marmalade on toast
<@Segosa> homomade
<@Segosa> er
<@Segosa> homemade |
#42851 (93/225) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<beafet> hi rogue-09
<rogue-09> what's shakin
* beafet has quit IRC (QUIT: )
* beafet has joined #fanfilms
<beafet> i just sneezed and closed like 7 tabs |
#43840 (113/277) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<eldritch> today I stole wheat bran!
<eldritch> I marked my bag of whole wheat pasta with the number for regular pasta (whole wheat costs 2x as much :P)
<eldritch> and since the number is a diff between a 6 and a 9 if I get caught I can just say "oops how dyslexic of me"
<Fennec> haha
<eldritch> I checked my receipt after and sure enough the woman at the counter didnt notice and only charged me for spaghetti and not whole wheat spaghetti
<eldritch> next time I am going to see if I can sneak cashews out disguised as peanuts!Comment: #angband, WorldIRC
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#49907 (124/306) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
elegidito: wow man people IMing me i dont even know
XDeathbyBladeX: That sucks
XDeathbyBladeX: Or maybe not if they're hawt
elegidito: well thats what im wondering
elegidito: i think she might be hot
XDeathbyBladeX: haha
XDeathbyBladeX: NICE!
elegidito: lol
XDeathbyBladeX: I get to revert to my old ways
elegidito: oh man, i think its my cousin o_O |
#50427 (121/297) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<bog2435> i wunna ask bout INVERT in msPaint -> i invert the image, save.. but then when i open it and invert it it goes backwards to the original!
<bog2435> how do i save it inverted so it can't be reversed to the original.. i want to protect my photo from steal, see! |
#51024 (118/294) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<hahacornut> I need visual aids for my presentation tomorrow
<Narcissus> go to visual africa |
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