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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..308309310311312313314..599Next> |
#8413 (108/264) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ohio_ohio2> so what is the world coming to?
<X-Chaos-X> orgasms. |
#10860 (138/337) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<rds|squall> im italian plz help me |
#10931 (108/260) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
-(+MinioN5000)- k
-(+MinioN5000)- installing
-(+MinioN5000)- oh shit
-(+MinioN5000)- illegal operation
-(+MinioN5000)- wtf
* @Cuthbert calls the police |
#11628 (136/332) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<dJOEk> okay, now seriously for a moment
<dJOEk> a dear friend of mine needs to break up with this girl
<\slick> punch her in the face and play sir mix-a-lot
<Crow> slicks solution to every problem.. 100 percent success rate |
#107607 (181/451) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<TLC> My friend went in for an op on his hand, and they sent him for a shower and to put these paper pants and a gown on.
<TLC> Wondering what that piece of string on the pants was as he struggled to get them on, suddenly a nurse burst in
<TLC> trying to hide his modesty he realised that that bit of string he thought was either on the pants or the gown was the emergency pull cord |
#118709 (82/194) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ChuckD> i see Tab in movies alot
<ChuckD> i demand an explination
<ChuckD> i dont see tab anywhere
<Towwb> Tab went to the same place as No Fear and sneakers with lights in them
<Towwb> MC Hammer's there too, not being touched |
#296031 (92/218) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(+winterwyn): The asterisk of Judaism illustrates their inclusiveness and technological savvy by utilizing a string wildcard. |
#299826 (120/290) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Hypnotek: Have you ever noticed the similarities between the daft punk Pyramid and the image on the back of the dollar bill?
John: They're pyramids. And both open up. That's about it.
John: Unless the dollar bill also has lasers, an attached HD LCD screen, neon lights, and a DJ booth inside as well.
Hypnotek: It should.
Hypnotek: Would make paying for things much more fun. |
#301603 (138/336) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Two9A> Slashdot has a good analogy. "C/C++ coders are tank commanders: close to the action, in deep. PHP is like a UCAV pilot: much the same firepower, but sitting in a comfy chair with coffee to hand. Python is an F-22 pilot: in the arena, but removed from the ground."
<Two9A> Any additions?
<haro> php is more like anti-satellite warfare, it's good for aiming at the stars but only leaves a mess of debris in its' wake |
#305896 (39/85) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<LowBatteryLife> Vengines.
<LowBatteryLife> A car that runs on anger. |
#306132 (122/300) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< mike|laptop> osama bin laden was killed before duke nukem forever came out |
#307886 (42/94) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<glxblt> FUCK ME IN THE ASS
<glxblt> the car won't start
<glxblt> 45min until booze store closes
<GargajCNS> cant you just order via the internet
<peppupupu> yeah
<glxblt> this is no time for jokes people, there's not a drop of booze in the house
[...]
<glxblt> okay, the car will maybe start if I let it be in the charger for 15 minutes
<glxblt> then I'll drive around for 15 minutes and that'll leave me 15 minutes to get the booze.
<glxblt> shit shit shit, if I don't drive around for the 15 minutes I will be stuck at the store parking lot
<glxblt> hmmm
<glxblt> maybe if take a risk and leave my car running
[...]
<glxblt> i will so fucking order a taxi if my car doesn't start in a while
<glxblt> i need to get drunk todayComment: Finland.
|
#34508 (137/335) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Shinigami> Why is the company your dad started AMARK?
<AgentKill> Mark as in Markoff - our last name - and he added the 'A' to the beginning so he could be first in the phone book.
<Ark-Templarius> Father.. son.. gene pool needs more chlorine.. |
#38417 (99/237) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<GHL> who can not admit that arnie's accent when he was still not-a-good-speaker-of-english was UBERLEET
<ModdedCyborg> hes a good speaker of english now?
<Orchid> hes the governer of california he would need to be
<ModdedCyborg> not really
<ModdedCyborg> i mean... bush is the president :x |
#39890 (91/217) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< drinker> CFC you're not a real criminal, are you?
< CFC> no... im a counterfeit one :\
< CFC> blame gamespy and its wierd as hell random nick generator
< CFC> i got Counterfeitcriminal and ArmouredCrack :|
< drinker> :-)
< drinker> you chose well between them. The latter sounds like a chastity
belt |
#42785 (104/250) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<OneFlew> Java is a cruel and shallow trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side. |
#46053 (126/306) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<cLoAk`top> o god
<cLoAk`top> my dad just put sexual healing on the stereo
<SU|Chupalupa> omg
<drwx> ...
<drwx> wtf?
<R|xlycer|werk> is he trying to seduce you?
<cLoAk`top> I don;t know
<SU|Chupalupa> somethin you need to tell us cloak?
<cLoAk`top> I;ve locked my door and began baracading processComment: #bucktoof on gamesurge
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#51128 (131/319) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<alb2550> All the text on my screen is blurring into dirty limericks and communist propaganda which means i must be really tired. |
#52635 (95/227) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@r0bby> you suck all of you
<+mite\> * [r0bby] +#gaygeeks #bimb0 @+#queers @#efnut #psychotic @#asexual #gaypeople +#M-a-t-h
<+mite\> apparently you do tooComment: #efnut [at] efnet
|
#53335 (136/332) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<frosty-theaussie> "i dont know. we just dont celebrate christmas like you do... we actually remember why christmas is here, not just to give gifts"
<frosty-theaussie> if someone said that to you
<frosty-theaussie> youd think that theyre attacking you for not celebrating christmas like devout christians do, wouldnt you?
<HoneyBunny> wtf is the point of christmas without gifts?
<HoneyBunny> thats like religion without blatant lies and weak unrealistic stories |
#55352 (117/283) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<tom> can we make a hoax on blitzed.org
<grifferz> maybe you could announce my death in a news item
<tom> I wouldn't want to let people down
<tom> when they find it isn't true |
#12008 (129/313) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@RuebiaYat> GoodScrat: has God spoken to you lately?
<@GoodScrat> I don't talk to myself |
#13588 (101/246) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ChanPerv> #rpgfan-teensex000!!! is a restricted channel and may not be viewed by minors or residents of Alaska. If you are over 18, please type /msg ChanPerv <your credit-card number> |
#14581 (132/322) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@crystalis> I wish I had a vagina
<@crystalis> I'd keep stuff in it
<@crystalis> like car keys and stuff |
#16123 (141/344) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<|3itch> MY WOULD BE SISTER WAS AN ABORTION I WISH SHE WASNT THOUGH
<Funk> I WAS an abortion. I'm just very stubborn.
<Fishfood> i was probably not wanted
<Funk> You're not wanted NOW
<Fishfood> but who cares! IM HERE NOW AND READY FOR LOVE!
<wildkarrdex> I live in the perpetual fear that my parents will abort me |
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