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#90677 (281/701) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Bobba> Hey Karg.
<Karg> Hmm?
<Bobba> Can you help me?
<Karg> Hm...
<Karg> shaz, gimme 1d20.
<shaz> 1d20: 4
<Bobba> ?
<Karg> No. |
#300808 (174/426) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Aprentice> girls who fuck animals should be put in a mental institute
<Rjx> or on TV |
#306479 (40/86) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dr_Pressure> What's Forrest Gump's Password?
<Dr_Pressure> 1forrest1 |
#276 (166/406) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<papasui> i bought a box of crab ragoons
<papasui> and i looked to see how many calories are in each one
<papasui> and its freaking 400 and 250 fat calories
<Marcus-> "WARNING: May cause manboobs!" |
#780 (139/334) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dizzy_working> you couldn't kick my ass if I gave you special ass-kicking shoes and bent over for ya |
#2307 (95/225) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SyL> and I'm trying to get some work done, and I'm watching the keoki musicvideo and they have all these women that look like that they were in the same room at Rainbow Brite when she exploded and couldn't get all the color off and they're all kissing and stuff, and it's just "distracting" to say the least... |
#2960 (122/288) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<waterfire> All women are gay, or at least that's what they tell me |
#3260 (110/262) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<c-rOCK> damn my cell phone still reeks of pussy
<c-rOCK> wheres the febreze
<Goemon> Hmm...Did you put it on vibrate? |
#3582 (115/275) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<duk0r> Don't forget kids, the faster you download the bigger your penis is. |
#3838 (108/258) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<NeonId> general- Internet talk isn't even worth of being called a dialect. It's a mutilation of language, and we are the people who have to compensate for it's brazen idiocy.
<Potato> I'd even say it bites.
<JDigital> lol kthx |
#3975 (121/290) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ScumDog> my first BBS name ever, when I was something like 11 years old, was pothead.
<ScumDog> except that I was named after a local band, and had no idea what an actual "pothead" was
<ScumDog> so people were always like "Rahhh! 420 4-ever!!!" and I had no clue what they were talking about |
#4032 (134/322) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<blazemore> one of my friends that i haven't talked to in forever said "Hey what's up" through icq last night
<blazemore> i didn't say anything though cause last time she said whats up she just needed a cd burned :|
<mightyflo> cdrs before hos |
#4730 (130/313) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(skankman) oaid, halo is when two gay guys put their dicks in each others mouths, but the rule is it cant touch the lips or tongue or anything. the only thing it can touch if anything is the tonsil, and they both do it at the same time, and they dont have sex until they do it perfect.
(Emo|Cuomo) GROSS SKANKMAN
(Emo|Cuomo) I MEANT THE FUCKING XBOX GAME
(skankman) yeah whatever, you sick fuck. |
#5763 (142/344) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Urganite> THERE ARE NO BAGELS BUT ONION, AND MOHAMMED IS HIS PROPHET
<Urganite> ...
<OneiWilly> you are worshipping a false bagel |
#6565 (102/242) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<barkode> it's all about getting drunk at defcon, and waking up the next morning in a ditch, with a TRS-80, a wireless modem, a
sombero, a pair of high heels, an angry midget and you're dressed like a mariachi. |
#7141 (112/268) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Naivete> god, this shit is so much more efficient than windows
<Naivete> linux kernel=1 file
<Naivete> windows kernel=2/3 of your total ram, NO MATTER HOW MUCH OF THAT RAM THERE IS. |
#7450 (114/272) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Bojangle> splurge: This one time, my friend called the cops for getting a threatning phone call. SO the cops come over to just see what my friend is like, to judge if he was BSing or not
<@Bojangle> So they come over, and start chatting my friend up, they go, "What do you do?" and he's like, "I'm a computer consultant
<@Bojangle> "Oh yeah, what are ya' working on?" and he's like, "Oh, some webserver"
<@Bojangle> So then these two cops start talking about how he should use another server, and how the server he's using sucks, and how he should set up a database for certain things, lmao
<@splurge> HAHAHA
<@Bojangle> And my friend's like, "What are you, cops or computer programmers?" and he's like, "Oh, I just like to play around in my spare time"
<@Bojangle> It was like something outta Seinfeld
<@splurge> id skullfuck them and leave their corpses in the backyard
<@Bojangle> Me too |
#8555 (114/272) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Gabealicious> Will you please yank all these goddamned hairs from my nose???
<JungleMason> You need to go to Sharper Image or something and get a fancy nose-hair cutting gizmo.
<Gabealicious> I think so.
<JungleMason> Make sure you read the warning label though: "Not safe for most rectums."
<Gabealicious> It's a bit late for that. |
#8727 (154/372) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Afterglow> I remember when i was leaving for university my brother told me, "If you come back a goth I'll kill you".
<Jon_R> my brother just said "If you come back I'll kill you"
<Linguica> my brother said "come on my back or i'll kill you" |
#8771 (119/285) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<bishun> dont get fresh with me
<hydro-> but i'm using the all new summers eve douche
<hydro-> it says i can be fresh whenever i want |
#8866 (117/280) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rance> so... i'm driving to cedar rapids today
<Rance> and i'm feeling a little frisky...
<Rance> so i start cranking one off in the car
<Rance> and it's really kind of funny when you... achieve your objective, and you wind up laying on the horn... and it's blaring for like 1/4 mile
<Rance> so now the next time i hear someone going down the road with their horn going for no reason... i'll know |
#10989 (110/260) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Vang> No matter how dead one is, it's still demoralizing to see one's crotch get hurled explosively across a warehouse. |
#11085 (132/319) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MissTika> how have you been?
<Sage> Good, good. And you?
<MissTika> oksy I guess, had a falling out with two of my " best" friends but other then that heh
<Ne0_Rat> Tika has been arguing with her boobs again. |
#11642 (110/263) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Temujin> aight
<Hydrac7> it suprised me that Temujin would use "Aight"
<Hydrac7> Temujin using "aight" has crushed my will to live.
<Temujin> I live in Indiana, I have to fit in somehow.
<Temujin> I can't fake being retarded, so saying "a'ight" has to suffice. |
#11713 (131/315) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Cl0ckwork> i hate it when explorer crashes, losing my system tray, and irc is minized to it
<\slick> I hate when I kick a dog and then the owner see's me and I have to kill him |
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