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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..285286287288289290291..599Next> |
#40913 (96/218) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<%Lost> I want to apply for ircops =x
<@Tenor> i want to apply for a night with Lost's mom
<@coppercore> rofl
<%Lost> want her number?
<%Lost> ill give you the cell
<%Lost> we can use some extra moneyComment: #tenor on irc.gamesaloon.net
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#42769 (107/245) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cooltim> fuck christmas shopping sucks. The gifts given/recieved ratio seems to drop as you get older. christmas used to be good.
<meaty> Yep. There's no upload quota. :(
<cooltim> That's right. there should be some sort of law, stating that total cost of gifts given only has to be proportional to gifts recieved.
<meaty> Absolutely. At least some sort of shaping system where the receivers of low-priority 'Christmas traffic' understand the circumstances, as agreed to in the EULA.
<cooltim> lmao
<morphix> lol
<meaty> Perhaps superior prezzie traffic should be assigned higher priority the next year, thus encouraging the receipt of data which is significantly more tangable than socks.
<meaty> And we all know the evil that is bestowed on socks. On average, 33% of them mysteriously go missing every wash.
<meaty> Presents are a total waste of precious bandwidth.
<meaty> We need a protocol like Bittorrent, only for presents. |
#43460 (112/254) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
--- Topic for #linuxgeneration is wget ftp://vatican.org/pope/current/stable/pope-265.0.tgz && tar zxvf pope-265.0.tgz && cd pope-265.0 && ./configure --prefix=/rome/vatican && make && make install_pope |
#43842 (101/231) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Lacey> int *y; for (int i = 0; i < 1000; i++) { y = &y; }
<Lacey> Someone handed that to me and asked: "Why doesn't it work"
<Lacey> I stared at it and finally asked "What do you think it is supposed to even do?!?!"
<dfryer> what did they want it to *do*?
<Lacey> They thought it was a linked list...Comment: #planeshift
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#46533 (143/333) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<korozion> on the weekend, we were at a bar, and I took my buddies girlfriends cowboy hat, and put it on. My girlfriend look at me and said "save a horse, ride a cowboy". From that point on, I have had a new respect for counry music |
#47266 (158/370) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Meflin> hmm someone is selling a 475 KW natural gas generator on ebay for $105,000 ... sold "as is" with all faults ... no warranty expressed or implied
<Continuity> kaboom
<Meflin> but they take pay pal .....
<Danamania> 475KW. wonder if that's enough for the webserver.
<Meflin> who in their right mind is going to eaby $100,000 as is :)
<Continuity> I think most people do the "no warranty" thing but I can't help thinking the buyer is going to recieve a moldy peanut with "lol" engraved on it |
#53056 (91/205) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pushplay> she probably would never survive phil 120
<Xianmas> a retarded monkey could pass phil 120
<Xianmas> a retarded monkey with a head injury even
<Xianmas> if you don't "get" truth tables, you don't belong in the human race
<Xianmas> that should be the eugenics test
<Xianmas> show truth table for A AND B
<Xianmas> A B A /\ B
<Xianmas> 0 1 ?
<Xianmas> if ? = 0, you die
<Xianmas> err
<Xianmas> 1
<Xianmas> OMG!!
<dalor> Xianmas: you filtered out your first idiot |
#53949 (125/289) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rep> What do I say to my Mum when she discovers I bombed 26 days of meds in six fucking hours?
<kdogground2> Time flys when your having fun.Comment: Yay for medication.
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#56231 (135/313) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Wulf> Last night I was at a concert that really sucked, and the only time I clapped was when the guy said "give yourself a warm round of applause" |
#57424 (155/363) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< JaredCE> no, i had an idea for an ajax web2.0 calender that would pull details from flickr and google map
< shiruken> how far did you get?
< JaredCE> ermm
< JaredCE> i installed apache |
#62196 (181/427) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Wanker123: I believe im guilty of manslaughter...
Wanker123: I figure that ive killed a baby...
Getout432: What the hell did you do man?
Wanker123: Well ive calculated the average load i shoot off to have a mass of approx 1 gram
Wanker123: If you assume twice a day, 7 days a week, thats 14 grams per week
Wanker123: 52 weeks in a year, thats 782 grams per year, rounded up to 800 because of those extra large loads
Wanker123: Now ive been wanking for at least 3 years, which means ive expelled at least 2.4 KILOGRAMS of little children... now since they've all died... and a newborn baby probably weights about 2.4 kg...
Wanker123: Therefore, i submit, that im guilty of manslaughter, for killing enough mini-children to add up to a real child...
Getout432: You really need to get laid you fucking redneck |
#62312 (161/377) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zenith`> This porn sucks.
<Zenith`> Girl is sortof squatting on a dildo and I'm wondering why the camera man doesn't kick her legs out. |
#79912 (180/424) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
dalener: hey at least when i move my room it'll be sound free of most people and have a big bed
dalener: then my plan to fuck someone will be complete
Mrs_Grima_Wormtongue: no
Mrs_Grima_Wormtongue: you still need the person
jack_burton84: goddamnit |
#105243 (247/589) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<withnail> i have a friend called Justin, and this girl said his name was how long it took for him to ejaculate |
#150718 (115/265) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Panteleimon> i bought a copy of brawl just to smash it with a hammer
<bannedfox> Panteleimon: was it worth it?
<Panteleimon> totally.
<Tenchi> heh
<Panteleimon> cuz i waited in a line to get it
<Panteleimon> and then i took it outside
<Panteleimon> and waited for the store to run out of copies
<Panteleimon> and i was like I HAVE A COPY
<Panteleimon> and i opened it up and smashed it with a hammer
<Panteleimon> and fanboys cried
<TerrorBite> You have just won your googly-eyed self a motherfucking internet. |
#289597 (139/323) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** hotdog003 has joined #python
hotdog003: Hey, Pythoneers! I thought that objects worked like this: object.attribute But someone wrote code that looked like this: object->something -- What's that -> do? I didn't find it in the docs...
MizardX: That's C
hotdog003: Oh. No wonder it didn't work. Thanks.
*** hotdog003 has left #python |
#297885 (148/346) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fox> so
<Fox> as you guys know I've been watching Voyager like nonstop the past week or so
<Fox> when my mom woke me up this morning, apparently I was asking her how we got back to the Alpha Quadrant |
#304213 (77/173) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Welcome to Mormon.org chat.
A representative will be with you shortly.
Agent [stephanie] is ready to assist you.
User: Hi. Stephanie?
stephanie: Hello
stephanie: What brings you to Mormon.org?
User: Well I'm christian reformed but a lot of my friends are mormon
User: and I've been having trouble with my family but they never do
User: Would converting help my family life?
User: Is there much of a difference between christian and mormon?
stephanie: Mormons are Christian
User: I thought they were amphibians
The chat session has ended. |
#19736 (114/262) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* eMeow-v2 reads ircnews.com and cries
<sjh> what is ircnews.com
<eMeow-v2> sjh: god I am pissing in my pants
<sjh> cause really it sounds like a bigger waste of bandwidth than irc itself
<eMeow-v2> sjh: it is
<eMeow-v2> sjh: credibility of slashdot, looks of microsoft.com, and sanity of geocities
<sjh> you do realise the three sites you just used for that example are interchangable within the example for the same effect
<eMeow-v2> sjh: what I just said is "sucks x3" |
#27253 (124/286) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@DieHard> dock
<@DieHard> my neighbors house is on fire!
<@Forty> DH!
<@Forty> RUN
<@Forty> SAVE THE PENTIUMS
<@DieHard> i run amd |
#27912 (114/262) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Vexer`> i'm arabic / muslim
<Traktopel> im more muslim than you
<Vexer`> you are?
<Vexer`> YOU TERRORIST! |
#27915 (131/303) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Extigy> Ships are Long, Hard and full of sea men!
<blondee> i don't get it.... |
#29270 (160/374) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Hayabusa> I usually do really bad on tests, but I took a hepetitis test the other day, and I think I did really good.
<Hayabusa> I got an A, two Bs, and a C |
#30402 (142/330) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@burzzzzzz> i must be drunk
<@burzzzzzz> i wanted to know what time it was
<@burzzzzzz> and to check if my arm pits smells
<@burzzzzzz> so i sniffed my watch and looked at my arm pit |
#30449 (133/309) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@SuperXdude> !seen demanther
<@GreyHawk> demanther!icarus@is.rathercute.com was last seen by me in #stars! 1h 52m 44s ago doing: runs away from Super |
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