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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..278279280281282283284..599Next> |
#11321 (150/343) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Maggieamac> I pray for Osama Bin Laden everynight for him to give his life to Jesus
<dendr1te> I think he's given his life to Allah.
<Maggieamac> We'll see
<Maggieamac> But I pray for him everynight before I go to sleep
<Maggieamac> :)
<dendr1te> Geez, I feel bad. I usually just masturbate before I go to sleep.
<Maggieamac> It going to be ok
<Maggieamac> Tonight I'll pray for you |
#33701 (155/355) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<pauly> I'll fuck you hard in the ass later honey
<pauly> oh wrong room.Comment: #q3w
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#37027 (81/179) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<JudeTepes> The gay test timed out while calculating my percentage.... I hope that's nothign bad.Comment: #rm2k on irc.dynastynet.net
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#37729 (94/208) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Lethe> man, if Christ is real, I'm so screwed |
#37901 (127/289) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Lukeh> MASTURBATION AND POWER RANGERS ARE THE KEY TO SUCCESS IN LIFE!
<Yed> so Lukeh
<Yed> if i masturbate to power rangers
<Yed> does that mean i succeed twice
<Lukeh> You are a god
<Yed> AWESOME. |
#39964 (116/262) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> oh god that was funny!
<+kiracatgirl> ?
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> she just jumps in bed all of a sudden and looks at me
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> "What time is it!?"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> "It's 12:30 honey"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> ... "oh crap, the alarm was supposed to go off at 12:20"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> "What are you talking about? You don't wake up until 6:20"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> "What time is it?"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> "It's 12:30"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> "ah, monkeys"
<+Keitarou-Booyaka> and she falls back down
<+kiracatgirl> monkeys?!
<+urgan> lol, mokeys |
#40138 (107/239) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Coyote> "The U.S. motto, E pluribus unum, means "out of many, one." It first appeared in a Roman poem as part of a recipe for making a salad. |
#44410 (81/179) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Kodan882: I DID NOT JUST MAKE THAT TYPO
Kodan882: i went to look up Breastplate on wikipedia
Kodan882: but i instead typed Beastality
Kodan882: FUCK
DragonmasterJB0: HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DragonmasterJB0: Gogo Freud. |
#44938 (78/172) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<devolve> if I went to jail, I have no idea what would happen to all my shit
<MotorToad> it would be firmly packed |
#48046 (118/266) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<cmullet01> i am amazed at how many weird porn sites i get when searching for 'cambridge harvard "desk fan"' |
#52268 (148/338) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sc0rian> i keep putting my fucking boxers on back to front
<Sc0rian> wtf is wrong with me
<RotoSequence> I think you want to let the cock in from the backside |
#52517 (127/289) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
23:02:28 <@murderdeathkiller> is there something wrong with a girl who doesn't shave?
23:02:33 < Rutger> No, there isn't
23:02:40 < Patrick``> it's perfectly natural.
23:02:46 <@murderdeathkiller> that's curious. in europe it's like, no, that's cool
23:02:57 <@murderdeathkiller> in america it's like "I WANT YOU TO BE BALD LIKE AN EIGHT YEAR OL DOWN THERE BABY"
23:03:23 < Patrick``> I'd rather have wispy hair than stubble
23:03:34 < Patrick``> it's like "this vagina has the texture of rambo's chin" |
#52938 (125/283) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< psysick> why do fat ppl get hired as security guards
< psysick> are they considered more attentive to television screens? |
#58544 (157/359) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<AlmtyBob> I got this one girl
<AlmtyBob> young, hot, tight body
<AlmtyBob> and she asked where I worked and said she had applied there
<AlmtyBob> and asked how long I'd worked there
<AlmtyBob> "8 years"
<AlmtyBob> "oh I was 11 when you started working there!"
<AlmtyBob> 8( |
#62589 (169/387) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< zeleftikam> i had a fuckin weird ass dream last night.. suddenly i realised i could wikipedia two things at once and that was somehow amazing, then i appeared in a dance club and this dj at a table had two record turntables except they were circular lcd screens and each had a wikipedia page, and as he scratched the screens back and forth different wikipedia pages flipped on them
< zeleftikam> and he was reading them
< zeleftikam> because he was Lord Nikon from HackersComment: #null (irc.nullirc.net)
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#33906 (138/316) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<RandomSpork> know what's bad
<RandomSpork> I can cause my nose to bleed as if by will
<CyberZ74> Why, do you imagine big breasts?
<RandomSpork> no. want to know how I do it?
<CyberZ74> Nah.
<RandomSpork> first I strtch out my face in a psuedo yawn
<RandomSpork> then I blow a quick puff of air out my nose, like so....aww shit
* RandomSpork is now known as RS||BRB
<Specs> haha
<CyberZ74> ...
* RS||BRB is now known as RandomSpork
<RandomSpork> that was so NOT funny SpecsComment: irc.esper.net #rotfw
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#34735 (161/371) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Neon[UK]> fool
<Neon[UK]> i hope the cd player ejects the cd really fast and slices your head offComment: #geekissues EFnet
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#36558 (95/213) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rjx> when a friend of mine wrote me a birthday card, she wrote "happy birthday!!1111"
<Rjx> with the ones actually includedComment: #geekissues
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#38820 (66/144) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+cwd> in my server here since there are lots of HDs and fans, all the vibrations in the case are causing power connectors to slip just enough to power off the drive
<+cwd> so every 2-3 days i have to open it and readjust
<+cwd> its pretty fucking gay
< war-> cwd do you have a gf?
<+cwd> of course not |
#46207 (116/262) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<treb> the best girlfriend is always your feminine side, remember that :D
<Gorf|work> am i getting advice from a 14 year old?
<treb> 13, actuallyComment: #cam, irc.drivemeinsane.com
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#48960 (170/394) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<RoboCurse> like one time we were talkin about pregnant sex
<RoboCurse> and this dude
<RoboCurse> blurts out
<RoboCurse> "its like sex with a mini handjob!"
<RoboCurse> 6 people leaving dennys hungry. |
#50880 (184/428) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<aq> 1st person shooters are easier to play with than women
<aq> a friend of mine did talk me through some basics
<aq> and it seems far too damn complicated
<aq> it's like a fighter plane's cockpit
<aq> how the hell are we guys supposed to know how to fly those babys when we don't have any simulators
<aq> girls get simulators
<aq> plus there's only the joystick. Women don't have to deal with all the flaps or levers or buttons or nozzles or whatever else...
<aq> I don't even know where the eject button is incase I panic!!! |
#51079 (119/271) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<[SD]Away> god i hate the my gf is an oper on a network...makes argueing impossibleComment: random.sssinc2003.net #hosting
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#55152 (188/438) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<lm> hehe, my sis hates me now
<lm> I'm always joking about how fat she is
<losre> uh, she's hot actually
<lm> yah, but it's still funny to joke about it
<losre> sure
<lm> I was making jokes again and she started throwing pencils at me
<lm> then I said "you're a very naughty girl! roll to your room and think about what you did" |
#55281 (132/302) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* eldan screams at all of his computers at once
-!- eldan [eldan@frog-BE65CD8.sea1.dsl.speakeasy.net] has quit [Quit: eldan]
< AmishOne-work> aparently, they heard him.
< Jesus> dang.
< Jesus> never lip off at your computers I guess. |
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