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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..275276277278279280281..599Next> |
#301493 (57/113) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Abdoul> will u quit if he fired me?
<Ryan> shit no i got bills to pay
<Abdoul> what?
<Abdoul> u're not a friend
<Ryan> not a stupid one
<Abdoul> i'll get u fired
<Abdoul> and then quit with u to prove how much of a great friend I am
<Ryan> uhm... |
#306556 (29/57) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Strife89> Mother of fuck, Sintel has a 4k render.
<Strife89> Place your bets now: will my best computer be able to play this video?
<Ayen> Is a terrible explosion a possibility? If so, I'd go for that.
<Strife89> Ayen: Probably won't happen literally, but I'm betting on framerates below 1 FPS
<Ayen> I wish programs would show you fractional framerates when under 1
<Strife89> I wish they never had to.
<bildramer> lol
<Ayen> "Hah, you're rendering 1/8th of a frame per second"
<bildramer> I always found ms/f better than f/s
<Strife89> "You fail at hardware rendering FOREVER"
<Strife89> "Go get some new hardware, cheap bastard."
<Ayen> if I were programming something, I'd want to have the framerate counter display something like "Pitifully low" instead of >1
<Strife89> Ayen: For that, you might as well throw in a "umad?" or a trollface.
<Ayen> it'd be best if it was in some ridiculously small and simple program that shouldn't ever go below 100 fps or something.
<Strife89> glxgears, maybe
<Ayen> hah, the messages would rotate. "Are you running this on your Apple II?"
<Ayen> "Windows 95 is a bit out of date, by the way."
<Strife89> *snickers* |
#308131 (38/76) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SnortnSnowflakes> getting on the plane
<SnortnSnowflakes> and blowing that
<SnortnSnowflakes> thing
<SnortnSnowflakes> up
<dippingsauce> oh thats way different than my master plan
<SnortnSnowflakes> well
<SnortnSnowflakes> you'd be doing all the blowing
<SnortnSnowflakes> so
<SnortnSnowflakes> it's not too different from your plan
<dippingsauce> naw im going to just hijack it and land it safely and then over the intercom yell MICROSOFT FLIGHT SIM FOR LIFE BITCHES then bounce out before the police come |
#311340 (19/35) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sami> I sent out a memo about proper meme usage
<sami> if they had any questions to contact me, but if I catch them misusing memes then they have to do CSS
<amy> fate worse than cyber jail |
#34505 (144/328) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<philth> I quit reading after to kill a mockingbird gave no advice on how to kill a mackingbird |
#35635 (169/395) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jason_> ./me stabs r0sie to death
<Jason_> FUCKING .
<-- jimmiejaz has kicked Jason_ from #to2600 ((here's a tampon, take care of your period)) |
#36937 (98/218) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<JustinCredible> so I was catching for my brother today when he was warming up for baseball practice and he hits me in the head with a baseball and my eyes start watering
<JustinCredible> my dad tells me to stop bein a pussy and I just stare right back at him and say "you are what you eat"
<JustinCredible> so now I'm fuckin grounded...
<JustinCredible> I just can't win |
#38490 (99/221) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@efnex[sz]> has anyone read the da vinci code
<@efnex[sz]> if so what is it about
<SirScoots> ef, i realize in your part of canada you get stuff late, but davinci code is sooo 2003
<@efnex[sz]> well
<@efnex[sz]> we just got the beatles here |
#40168 (121/273) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Dr4g0n> I have 4 inches to grow and im done with pubertyComment: Sometimes it's good to specify words like "height"
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#41236 (74/164) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sock_Monkee> i used to read choose your own adventures all the time. then i realized how fucking dumb they were
<mog> Sock_Monkee: That's because you're not supposed to read the pages in order, you fucking idiot |
#46370 (71/155) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<megaBBq> one time my friends and i were camping in the mountains, one night i went to bed and i woke up at about noon the next day
<megaBBq> i sit up and open my eyes, and i'm staring point blank at this mountain goat
<megaBBq> having been shit drunk the night before, it was a very odd few moments trying to figure out how the goat got in my tent |
#50738 (121/273) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<seelet> the frat house down the road doesnt even have wep on
<seelet> wtf
<HaLLuCiN0> maybe they are to busy drinking beer, smoking weed, and fucking chicks
<seelet> :( |
#53153 (124/280) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Durandal> you said you'd be right back
<+r0bin> yeah
<+r0bin> An hour an ten minutes is "right"
<+Durandal> ah
<+r0bin> Espescially since my average "bbl" is three to four months
<+Durandal> heh, that's for damn sure
<+r0bin> :P
<+Durandal> of course i've been known to disappear for a year
<+Durandal> or more
<@kefx> r0bin: haha
<+r0bin> Durandal: that's my "afk"Comment: #metawire
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#56799 (172/394) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pritch> fwf this is the internet
<pritch> no one cares about your gf unless we see nude pix |
#56967 (231/537) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Psyfive> I call my penis Dick Cheney
<Psyfive> yesterday it shot someone in the face |
#73996 (257/601) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Glock_> so i'm looking for porn
<Glock_> and i see VIRGIN LAURA PART 1
<Glock_> and then VIRGIN LAURA PART 2 |
#12026 (126/285) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<n_> derf if you ever call me on the phone and ask for ops again
<derF> heh.. i'm lazy |
#12438 (126/284) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rhombus> US investigators say they have seen neither bodies nor graves while examining a civilian site in central Afghanistan, allegedly targeted by US warplanes earlier this week.
<Rhombus> That sounds like:
<Rhombus> Fox investigators say there is no proof that any henhouses have been raided by foxes. |
#13200 (140/318) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<erisynne> he has a ctcp version fetish
<erisynne> he did it to me 7 times
<GreenMtn> did you lose your versionity? |
#14417 (123/278) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Titu§ Crow> does that upset you tsukiyo?
<Titu§ Crow> §)
<Tsukiyo> no
<Tsukiyo> do whatever floats your boat
<Tsukiyo> unless it has to do with me
<Titu§ Crow> I don't have a boat.
<Tsukiyo> swim then
<Titu§ Crow> What the hell are you talking about? |
#14618 (118/265) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SpeedSk8X> 21 is too fucking old :( :( :(
<type[s]> bah
<type[s]> i'm 22
<type[s]> i think
<type[s]> yeah, 22 |
#14946 (138/316) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dane-lo_brown[DJedi]> I got in trouble in school cause my Espanol teacher asked what architecture we learned from the latinos and i said cardboard boxes |
#16536 (121/269) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MercyBeat04> linux command prompts are like dos on acid with a credit card out on the town. You can do anything. |
#16636 (112/251) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Doctor_Rohipnol: bad sex is like bad pizza
neo_crashoverride: it comes back to haunt you doc?
beauty_fades_stupid_ls_forever: avoid the crust, doc?
Doctor_Rohipnol: well ya |
#18160 (139/316) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MaxPower> so I'm on this ftp site today
<thammy> haha
<thammy> that sounds like the beginning of a bad geek joke |
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