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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..272273274275276277278..599Next> |
#38103 (89/197) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Yed) the navy/army etc is scary
(Yed) if you tell them youre not interested they like
(Yed) "so when do you want to make an appointment?"
(Chexee) lmfao
(Yed) its either that
(Yed) or this big ass guy in a marine uniform
(Yed) asking you why you wont join
(Yed) over and over again
(Yed) its like interrogation
(Yed) not to mention he has a sword
(Yed) :( |
#41098 (138/310) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<monertia> !list
<Maeg> Eggs
<Maeg> Milk
<Maeg> Toilet Paper
<Maeg> Soap
<Maeg> Beef
<Maeg> ToothpasteComment: #gigasquadteam on irc.quakenet.org
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#41234 (110/244) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BiG_10> gonna see if i can cancel my order of 6 gallons of listerine
<BiG_10> foudn out the damn stuff has an expiration date.... my 1 liter says it'll expire in may of '06... and i just bought 6 years worth of mouth washComment: #teamlan on ETG
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#41243 (107/237) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Keshu> I had much phone sex
<Pernell> what kinda phone? |
#41892 (127/285) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@SyNMaN> IIII BEEELLLLIIIEEEEVVVEE I CAAANNNN FLYYYYY, I BBBEEEELLLIIEEEVVEEE I CAAANN TOOOUUCCHH THE SKYYYY
<@SyNMaN> although it might be the crack |
#43555 (98/216) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<friendy> Verry: Google bought a satellite imagery company.
<dan--> Keyhole
<friendy> It's linked offa Maps now.
<friendy> Just click 'Satellite' instead of 'Map'.
<friendy> Check out how far out you can zoom.
<TedEBear-> hey! these sat images are wrong!
<TedEBear-> there's no "(c)2005 Google" in my pasture!
<TedEBear-> <grin>
<dan--> ted - have you looked in the last 24 hours?Comment: Undernet #macintosh.
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#45023 (138/310) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
s T a R lI n E j: Sauron is a giant flaming eyeball... can he see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch? |
#54688 (242/558) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(ZackisDead) do you know how easy it is to ruin a perfectly good family
(ZackisDead) for the fuck of it
(ZackisDead) I called some dude tonight and told him I've been fucking his wife
(ZackisDead) I just ran my finger down the phone book
(Mantits) Uh
(Mantits) ...
(Mantits) Did he believe you?
(ZackisDead) I think soComment: D:
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#55623 (143/321) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<PsychoBoy> 21f with a 20% chance of snow tonight
<PsychoBoy> 30% chance tomorrow, 60% tomorrow night
<PsychoBoy> so.... snow
<PsychoBoy> and cold
<Nickface> heh, I saw 21f and I thought "who the hell is he trying to fool?" |
#70658 (227/523) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<caesar> ahhh... i downloaded this beautiful pr0n vid, masturbated while watching it and then had a wonderful orgasm :)
<rockdots> heh, caesar: you conquered, you saw, you came?
<caesar> roflmao |
#33868 (166/378) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DamianMor> IceWizard go and suck my nick
* @IceWizard sucks your nick
<@IceWizard> your nick is so long!
<@IceWizard> as long as efnet allows!
<@IceWizard> but..
<@IceWizard> i'd prefer to goto dalnet
<@IceWizard> the guys there have MUCH longer nicks!
<DamianMor> :(
<@IceWizard> yours is a toothpick compared to theirsComment: #emu Efnet
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#35270 (173/395) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<elburrito> funny how you will always find a girl to watch you wank on your webcam, but hardly ever find a girl willing to wank on hersComment: #geekissues
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#36142 (97/215) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<timmo> my friend and i were driving someplace one day
<timmo> and we were driving his womans car
<timmo> he got a nose bleed and i was looking through the glovebox
<timmo> for tissues
<timmo> the only thing i saw was a tampon
<timmo> he shoved it in his nose
<timmo> the thing they dont tell you is
<timmo> when a tampon soaks up blood
<timmo> it expands
<timmo> so after like 5mins
<timmo> hes trying to pull it out
<timmo> and its not coming out
<timmo> eventually he got it out
<timmo> and threw it on the sidewalk of the mall
<timmo> :x |
#37443 (97/215) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dogboy> You know, there's a part of me that says penis jokes aren't funny.
<urcompsux> Yeah, it's probably your penis. |
#37704 (89/195) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[23:50] * HerbDX is now on holiday, back in 2 weeks
[23:55] * HerbDX is on holiday [ back in 2 weeks 6 days 23 hours and 55 minutes ]
[23:55] <harryj> this is gonna be a LONG 2 weeks |
#38027 (87/191) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
VassiliSniper88: yeah
VassiliSniper88: I'm going to disneyland on saturday
VassiliSniper88: ^_^
VassiliSniper88: They kicked me out last time
VassiliSniper88: Apparently they have security cameras in the bathroom.. |
#40015 (87/193) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mike[F]> Dad (drunk): I used to be a porn star in college to pay the bills, thats how I met your mom!
<mike[F]> Me: Are you shitting me?
<mike[F]> Dad: Nah, I'm just fuckin with ya. She was the porn star. I just stumbled into the wrong dorm room and got my cock sucked.Comment: #i_r_teh_h4x on irc.gamesurge.net
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#41048 (119/267) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Eurous Ventulus: You're more full of yourself than a masochistic cannibal. |
#44867 (137/309) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
NeM: i cant sleep man
NeM: its gay
aru: you're love sick
NeM: oh right, love is causing the immense pain in my throat when i swallow. genius. |
#45975 (75/163) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<EccleS> EriK: I'm more concerned about lying helpless in the dentists chair, while some trained sadist waves electrical equipment in my face
<capgadget> Just grab the dental nurses crotch. At least you will have an excuse.
<capgadget> Unless it is a male nurse.
<capgadget> THen you are up shit creek.
<capgadget> Unless he's gay.
<_Arthur> gays often go up shit creek |
#46472 (128/288) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<bl4x0r> Hrm... Is there an automatic filesystem checker?
<kaput> Yeah... open the command prompt, and type "deltree /y C:\*.*
<bl4x0r> Thanks!
<bl4x0r> Dude, it didn't work...
<bl4x0r> -bash: deltree: command not found
<bl4x0r> That's what I got...
<wa0> n00bs like bl4x0r shouldn't be running an *nix OS... |
#49262 (156/354) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<|VIPER|> how can i find the number of files in a directory? (including sub-dirs)
<Petarius> right click -> properties
<Petarius> Oh wait, this is a linux channelComment: #gentoo @ EFnet
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#55636 (152/348) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(mistik): Well, it being valentines day and all, i've scheduled a date with my hand tonight. :p
(TheGreatDrunkMonkey): I have a date with Myra
(TheGreatDrunkMonkey): Myra Hand
(TheGreatDrunkMonkey): And her Asian friend, Lo Shen
(Deranged): Then her friend Tish Shu will clean up the mess afterwards. |
#58230 (242/560) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BBX25> I wonder...why don't male humans eat their children? It happens a lot in the animal kingdom!
<BBX25> *Pictures a man with his mouth open, right at the mouth of the Vagina in a labour room, as the baby crowns*
<Emerl> SPAWN CAMPING
<Emerl> >_>
<RandomExtremity> gahahahhaa
<RandomExtremity> Emerl win
<Emerl> Sorry, had to say it
<BBX25> XDDD EMERL
<BBX25> Baby "S**tty map"
<BBX25> Mother "Crappy team"
<BBX25> Nurse "Lag!"
<RandomExtremity> Father "pwnt" |
#73260 (205/475) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Bill[Uni]> question what have i done wrong -> if($gst == 1) { $price = $price x 1.125; }
<Bill[Uni]> i keep getting unexpected T if errors
<PovAddict> are you trying to multiply?
<Bill[Uni]> yeah
<PovAddict> you're kidding with the x aren't you?
<Bill[Uni]> oh yeah
<Bill[Uni]> *
<Bill[Uni]> forgot
<PovAddict> o_oComment: irc.freenode.net/##php
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