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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..269270271272273274275..599Next> |
#8223 (172/386) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<below> i'm going to kill my roommate.
<Aven> Kill kill kill
<below> he's going to die for this one
<Aven> Wait, I'M YOUR ROOMMATE!
<below> you are?
<below> wtf?!
<below> how many fingers am i holding up?
<Aven> 2
<Aven> But I don't think ones a... oh god.
<below> yes.
* Aven stabs himself in the eye with a pen. |
#8721 (130/289) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pritch> yeah well i do an english writing degree
<Linguica> do have |
#9237 (128/284) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jixn|breakfast> BRB: Going to Europe. |
#11241 (132/294) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<xdeep> does anyone have a computer currently handy |
#277 (177/401) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Hatter> Sometimes hypr, I can hear the gears in your head grind to a halt
<hypr> haha |
#698 (170/384) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kisama> amanda is the opposite of a normal computer user
<Amanda`> KISAMA IS THE OPPOSITE OF HETEROSEXUAL |
#2123 (137/306) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CoderMan> kritical, you are dumber than a dead rock
<matts> dead rock
<matts> umm
<matts> CoderMan news flash
<matts> rocks can't live
<matts> :\ |
#2325 (138/309) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Amanda`> We ran out of toilet paper so I had to use coffee filters... |
#2738 (137/306) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ckx> xmas was fun back before i was blessed with pubes and still had hopes and dreams and such |
#3576 (131/293) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* RedBull has returned.. I degaussed my girlfriend and I'm just not attracted to her anymore. |
#3794 (137/306) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kalani> Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed into a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death life is only a dream and we're the imagination of ourselves...Here's Tom with the weather. |
#6458 (139/311) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<^erica^> god, why dont you apear infront of me when i pray?
<GodFu> because i like to watch |
#6651 (117/259) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kron-Away> iam an accountant
<Kron-Away> 1,2,3,5,6,9,10
<Mr_Squidgy> kron what comes after 10 :P
<Kron-Away> my 15% |
#7479 (117/259) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<rlorenzon> ...and that's when i knew she was the one
<wolfnip> how did you know that?
<rlorenzon> because...i lost all my friends. |
#10117 (105/231) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Guilty> I had lilo and stitch all along
<Mass> you have it ?
<Guilty> I just didnt realize its 1 fucking CD
<Mass> ohh dood send
<var> ill pretend both of you didnt just say that
<var> and we can still be friends |
#11211 (114/253) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kitsa> dammit I hate my hotmail account
<Kitsa> I HAD 413 SPAM E-MAILS
<Kitsa> since 2:00 this morning
<Kitsa> according to them, I can make money sitting on my ass
<Kitsa> while fucking Britney Spears and taking human growth hormone |
#11721 (125/278) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<]AoV[Virus|OGC> anyone know an altanative to napster?
<TIK|wombat> Walmart
<]AoV[Virus|OGC> can ya dcc it? |
#111552 (180/408) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
mp: why would anybody buy a typewriter
ikasatu: 1. for Resident Evil jokes.
ikasatu: 2. That way, I own one device that CANNOT run Linux.
raven: it can run linux, you just have to type a HELL of a ton, you can be the interpreter.
ikasatu: It runs Linux, but the refresh rate is ass.
ikasatu: The only machine where user error is computer error.
ikasatu: On the plus side, it comes pre-loaded with print drivers.
ikasatu: "/clear" *roll roll roll* |
#169868 (127/283) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Tim__> `hey al, tell me all about your day` > /dev/null |
#295012 (85/187) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<hitmonchee> someone was talking about mice the other day and they mentioned that they hibernate
<hitmonchee> and I thought "how the fuck can an animal hibernate"
<hitmonchee> then I realised that they didn't mean saving the RAM to disk and shutting down |
#298199 (95/207) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@swight> cottage cheese is basically curds and whey isn't it?
<@Rjx> I think it's just the curds part
< dunn> i dont eat anything that rhymes with turd
<@Rjx> pretty sure you've eaten a bird |
#301159 (137/307) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<stay> have you ever browsed Yahoo Answers religion section?
<stay> i swear
<stay> its where the idea for 4chan came from |
#302835 (41/83) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Somebody> Who knows, maybe you created AI, and have a bot speaking instead of you.
<fahadsadah> So what if I have?
<fahadsadah> Is that a crime?
<fahadsadah> Are you prejudiced against bots?
<fahadsadah> Brb, oil chang^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hperforming typical human activities |
#309867 (33/65) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Clarke> Haskell is like dropping a trident missile on the problem; MUMPS and PHP are like slamming two uranium chunks together by hand. |
#33640 (199/451) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tharaka> u know whats stupid about phones
<tharaka> they are on low batt right
<tharaka> and yet what do they do?
<tharaka> make a nose, which uses up more battery
<tharaka> and flash lights
<tharaka> and use up more battery
<tharaka> its almost like microsoft windows popups.. "LOOK AT ME!!!!, LOOK AT ME!!!"Comment: tharaka's phone battery was dying
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