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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..268269270271272273274..599Next> |
#306165 (43/87) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<rush> where I come from we measure the hotness of a chick by using a scale which is determined by the number of days she could go without a shower and you'd still stick your tongue in her ass, and she's an 8 |
#306805 (61/129) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rjx> who are you talking to?
<DigDug> your mom
<Rjx> she's asleep I think
<Rjx> you're wasting your time
<DigDug> oh damn
<DigDug> tell her i said hello
<DigDug> i had a really good time last night
<DigDug> and i'm really sorry about that thing with the flowers
<DigDug> i hope we can hang out again soon sometime
<DigDug> i promise i'm usually not that on edge, i was just really nervous about seeing her
<Rjx> she says she loves you, but she's not in love with you |
#309169 (-12/62) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<snacky> oh. FUCK you krut
<snacky> you are the worst person in the world
<snacky> I look forward to viciously murdering you to death a whole lot.
<snacky> hmm, that sentence is kind of unclear. I will clarify.
<snacky> I will viciously murder you to death a lot, and I also look forward to it.
<snacky> it's not that I "look forward a lot" to viciously murdering you to death
<krut> you look forward to murdering alot
<snacky> the death certificate will list the proximate cause of death as "vicious murder, a lot"
<snacky> although if the coroner isn't careful, he might not notice the signs of murder. in this case, he will identify the cause as "severe acute death"
<ShyJoe> which becomes chronic death after about a week |
#13315 (136/302) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
*** Joins: Tallpaul
*** Semper is now known as Smallpaul
*** Smallpaul is now known as Semper
*** Tallpaul is now known as Semper_is_gay
*** Semper is now known as Tallpaul
*** Semper_is_gay is now known as Semper
*** Quits: Semper (Kill by NickServ (RECOVER command used by Tallpaul))
*** Tallpaul is now known as Semper
<Semper> I'm a dick
<Semper> :D |
#14351 (117/257) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<malcolm> I would appreciate it more if I didn't have to set JAVA_HOME and ANT_HOME and HILL_DEPTH and AVERAGE_LIFESPAN_OF_INSECT and NUMBER_OF_LEGS and DIRECTION_OF_PREVAILING_WIND and BIRTHDAY |
#15071 (109/240) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<cardinal> huh, a friend of mine pissed in his girlfriend's typewriter
<cardinal> under similar circumstances
<alayna> :blink:
<cardinal> drunk, needing to pee, didn't want to turn on the light, found
<cardinal> the "bathroom" door, found the "toilet", opened the lid,
<cardinal> pissed, couldn't find the flusher, went back to bed
<cardinal> discovered the next morning he'd opened the wrong door, and
<cardinal> found the typewriter, not the toilet, which explains the lack
<cardinal> of flush lever
<Deke> and the *ding* when he finished
<cardinal> all I could say when he told me the story was "Good thing it
<cardinal> wasn't a Selectric" |
#15770 (132/294) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tober> I actually did the math once, and it's improbable that a million monkeys with a million typewriters (one typewriter per monkey) that all type at the rate of a good typist 24/365 would ever produce the collected works of shakespeare before the heat death of the universe. So there. |
#18387 (131/295) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Phil> that chick was cute
<Phil> but then she turned into a guy
<Phil> and that was fairly disturbing |
#20364 (138/306) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@daleth> so it really did lead to "..." :)
<@lovelace> Yep.
<jbroomeLUG> is that morse code for humping? :) |
#24658 (125/277) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<WAKO15> i think my circle of life is a hexagon |
#28691 (159/357) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<influx> heh what is it with irc and gay jokes?
<zaggy> influx: they go together like my penis and your juicy ass |
#31324 (171/385) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Vorbis> hentai games are sooooo boring
<Portable591> They aren't even games.
<Portable591> It's like getting yourself off with an interactive powerpoint presentation.Comment: #raspberryheaven at mircx
|
#31491 (188/426) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Gil_AFK> I need to get laid. BRB, bugging gf.
<AndroSyn> heh
<Gil_AFK> looks like iam out of luck
<Gil_AFK> BRB, retry 1 in 120 seconds
<Gil_AFK> i'am hammering her :) |
#31888 (138/308) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<|darc|> im sexy.
<butters|cleaning> if your mom says it, it must be true |
#32114 (181/409) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Arcturus> Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF |
#32507 (178/404) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<peterS> Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF, all of my base are belong to you. |
#143 (258/589) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<`BuM> why is it that, no matter how much you pee into the toilet it never fills up? |
#1916 (122/269) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
-PDC:#windowsnt- MCSE = Must Consult Someone Experienced
(L0ki) MCSE=Mindsweeper Consultant and Solitare Expert
(nexxai) MCSE = Must Consult (with) Someone Else |
#2921 (130/289) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(Fungus): idler, define " life " please :)
(Idler): Fungus: Life is the thing that grows in my fridge
(Idler): Starting to get really big now
(Idler): Might have to kill it some day
(NX): did u try to eat it?
(Idler): NX: No, that's what I should have done a long time ago |
#3600 (124/275) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<BombScare> hmmm...choices choices, either get dressed and go get lunch, or sit here and wait for dinner
<BombScare> damn im lazy |
#3938 (127/282) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<sTek> "ONLY FRIENDS", i hate those two words
<sTek> even worse than "im pregnant" |
#4310 (129/287) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Slant> I'm adding "Masturbation" to my HotOrNot profiile.
<Slant> Hopefully this will reduce the number of matches I've been getting lately.
<Slant> Or it'll hook me up with a woman I can truly appreciate. ;-) |
#5337 (143/319) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Zeddicus> i like Dungeon Seige, but its not something that hooks me like a good FPS does, or a good RTS
<agentM> i like dating games
<Zeddicus> i dont
<Zeddicus> i always lose |
#6098 (124/275) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<#seattle/ThisGirl> SONOFABITCH
<#seattle/ThisGirl> i hate it when ppl ask me if im male or female |
#8092 (151/338) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<in|cheef> you know cd's that clean your cd player
<in|cheef> can you d/l one? |
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