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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..267268269270271272273..599Next> |
#6892 (109/239) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<fagg0t> I need no ignore list...I'm quite capable of ignoring people with my BRAIN |
#7391 (129/285) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kaff> the biker from the Village People died.
<Kaff> he died of lung cancer.
<Kaff> which just proves that getting a coq up the date will kill you in mysterious ways.
<Dane> kaff: no. you just misunderstood when the report said that he'd had too many fags.
<Kaff> haha |
#33991 (126/282) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(lithrye) I'm experiencing an annoying problem.
(lithrye) hlds is killing my ISP's router.
(Silicon) and how exactly do they say it's doing that
(lithrye) it's causing it to drop packets.
(Silicon) what are they using Fischer Price, My first router? |
#34139 (191/429) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Valeria> This is my computer. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My computer is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, as I must master my life.
<Valeria> Without me my computer is useless. Without my computer, I am useless. I must use my computer well. I must K-Line faster than my enemy who is trying to K-Line me.
<Valeria> I must pwn him before he pwns me. I will. Before God I swear this creed. My computer and myself are defenders of my server. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviours of my life. So be it .. . until there is no enemy ... but Microsoft. Amen. |
#35500 (168/376) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SA-Magic> msg nickserv identify smallpenis |
#38290 (111/243) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<X-G> DDustin: It's really about choosing the right language for the task.
<X-G> DDustin: If you don't need builtin string parsing, but you DO need speed, C++ is for you.
<X-G> DDustin: If you don't care so much about performance, but want to be able to mash random keys and have them be a program that ends world hunger, Perl is for youComment: #allegro
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#48892 (169/379) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
storm-shadow: damn it!!
storm-shadow: my computer has got some huge cock problems!
storm-shadow: not a regular problem... not even a big problem... no, that would be too weak a wording.
storm-shadow: this is a huge cock problem!
storm-shadow: when i open firefox, my comp freezes up for about thirty seconds.
storm-shadow: won't respond at all. i hit start, nothing. ctrl + alt + del, nothing.
storm-shadow: then thirty seconds later, all that shit starts popping up on me.
storm-shadow: that, by definition, is a huge cock problem.
snake-eyes: that is weird
snake-eyes: not your computer freezing, that's fairly common
snake-eyes: but, your choice of words does indeed frighten me |
#50293 (153/343) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Geeno> Philosophy teacher exists because Professional Bong Smoker doesntComment: #offtopic
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#50877 (129/285) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<lotusleaf> I wish someone would make a pair of sunglasses which when worn would transform all of the sights into live ascii |
#61478 (166/372) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Bobofsmeg> Well Phil, it's obvious to anybody that vaguely knows Amber that you're gonna be the bitch in this relationship
<Bobofsmeg> oh shit please dont hurt me Amber |
#67514 (129/285) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< marnanel> getting an email from the people you wrote a database app for ten years ago to say that it's still working fine... is an awesome thing.
<@tberman> marnanel: did it have money in it?
< marnanel> the email? no.
< marnanel> nor, I'm pleased to report, did it say "Would you do some free consultancy for us?"
< marnanel> Ah, I remember that app so well. It was distributed onto laptops with synchronisation when they were docked. And it printed letters. And it had a built-in macro language based on Forth. And it was written in Visual Basic.
< marnanel> I was young and foolish.Comment: #gnome-hackers
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#69477 (187/421) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Omi> So yeah, this idiot was trying to insult me
<Omi> By calling me gay
<Omi> Then she said, and I quote,
* Omi looks up Logs
<Omi> "thts rite u cnt reli sspeak wiv ur cock stuck in ur mouth or up another guys arse"
<Omi> So... not only did she compliment me by saying my cock is so big I can fit it in my own mouth...
<Omi> But she made absolutely no sense what so ever with the second part...
<Omi> How exactly would having a cock on someones ass prevent you from talking? |
#37282 (95/207) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dest> tate: If useless facts got you women, I'd be beating them off with shotguns
<Fenris> instead of beating himself off with a mitten |
#45859 (135/299) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kFraction> if only there was a captial "."
<sirukin> a capital period eh?
<sirukin> I'm not sure the females would enjoy that. |
#46079 (131/291) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<reddave1982> I got the 24-hr garage night shift blues
<Langly> what planet are you on that has 24 hour nights?
<microwiz> are there parts of earth that are dark for 24h? i know there are parts that are light for 24h
<FMalibu> well yes one implies the other
<FMalibu> probably antarctica or something is pretty much dark all day long by now?
* FMalibu imagines what kind of night shifts they have there...
<FMalibu> right, you'll be on pinguin duty...
<microwiz> PENGUIN GARAGE
<Langly> Terrapin Garage
<microwiz> insert "it looks like you blew a seal" joke here |
#47254 (113/249) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Telal> "Sorry I came unglued earlier..."
< Telal> fuck that
< Akamu> Seriously
< Telal> she can stay on her side of the state
< Akamu> You know, you should turn gay.
< Akamu> Men don't do this shit in breakups
< Akamu> A fist fight and you can be freinds
< Telal> yeah, but then there's the buttsex
< Akamu> Well, everything has a downside
< Telal> haha
< Telal> I think that was the most objective discussion of homosexuality everComment: in #moo on afternet
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#50736 (133/295) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<comet1604> shit, my nose just started bleeding
<whackazog> lay off the cock
<comet1604> ?
<whackazog> errr, coke |
#52723 (123/275) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ripzone> What do women & condoms have in common?
<Ripzone> They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
<Yomama> i dont get it ???
<Ripzone> ...
<Yomama> is it because of aids? |
#67067 (116/256) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<BamaWOLF> some bird just shit on me
<Mac-arena> Note: If vultures are circling overhead, you've been IRCing on the porch for too long.Comment: #adium on Freenode.
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#69917 (178/402) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<RuneCaster> I also hate people that walk up behind you and say something that sounds like the trigger to a conversation directed at you
<RuneCaster> Then you turn around and they're talking to a product from the store
<RuneCaster> "Well look who it is!" (I turn around) "Wha?"
<RuneCaster> and numbnuts is talking to Steven Seagal on the front of a dvd cover. |
#140546 (286/660) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Johnny> has there been a zombie tv series?
<Luigi30> the osbournes |
#196803 (103/229) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
15:02:51 Analogy: God I stayed up too late last night
15:03:02 silentjoe: o rly?
15:03:07 silentjoe: how late did you stay up?
15:03:20 Analogy: About 3 pm
15:03:29 Analogy: Later
* Analogy has signed offComment: Timestamps were necessary for this one, sorry.
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#234637 (229/521) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<hectorofchad> I've seen the coat hanger abortion reference elsewhere but never really thought about it
<hectorofchad> I guess the hook helps
<hyp3rhax0r> I was never really sure how that worked and made a point of not trying to figure it out
<hectorofchad> haha
<hectorofchad> probably for the best
<hyp3rhax0r> fetuses are deathly allergic to coathangers as far as I'm concerned >_>
<hyp3rhax0r> NOBODY CORRECT ME |
#296464 (176/396) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Slith> Law: Gun control.
<Slith> Intended effect: No more shootings, lower murder rate.
<Slith> What's really happening: People are arguing on the Internet. |
#303670 (38/76) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[11:11pm] Katuron: OOOOH
[11:11pm] Katuron: it's 11:11!
[11:11pm] MiracleBlue: Quick, make a wish!
[11:11pm] Katuron: uhm uhm uhm
[11:12pm] Katuron: ACE MY EXAMS!
[11:12pm] MiracleBlue: Too late
[11:12pm] Katuron: FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU |
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