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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..244245246247248249250..599Next> |
#53482 (146/308) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@FireAngel> So, are we meeting tonight?
<%g4ngst4> yeah ;]
<%g4ngst4> i'll give you somethin all your ex bfs didn't.. ;]
<@FireAngel> A STD? |
#54270 (200/428) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@ALGORYTHM> myspace is like goatse but for web designers |
#55777 (182/388) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Mike_H> I've been sitting outside smoking, and people will pass and do this pussy cough thing
<Dragonfly6-7> I cough through my mouth. |
#61924 (161/341) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<MadMax> Which is a better question to spend time and money thinking about:
<MadMax> How was the universe created?
<Catch-22> or, Are those real? |
#63631 (187/399) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<chief> What other city does uk have apart from england |
#33983 (147/311) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<kurai> You know .. sometimes I long for the days when spam was just for pr0n, rather than shitty meds
<kurai> At least they included pics to look at while you were deleting it |
#34484 (156/332) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Unrelated> Does anyone know if its possible to asign RAM a phsyical address?
<Unrelated> so that I can effectively turn it into a virtual HDD?
<SlackDug> url ramdrive
<migas> - "ramdrive": http://www.broadbandnuts.com/index.php?page=ramdrive
<Unrelated> not the same though
<SlackDug> it's never the same as the real thing ;[
<Unrelated> I'm trying to find a way to install, and run, Win3.11 entirely in RAM
<everest> why?!
<Unrelated> shits and giggles
<everest> you need a girlfriend
<Unrelated> true as that may beComment: #geekissues
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#35117 (168/358) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Zappa_> friday afternoons prove the theory of relativity |
#36983 (95/197) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<spook> i failed at sleeping yesterday :(
<Madman> heh
<spook> stupid bastards with hammers right below me... they will PAY for their insolence
<Madman> I'm sure you can think up a suitable punishment
<arch> i am guessing he will punish them by cowering in front of his computer on irc
<spook> damn. he figured me out |
#37702 (110/230) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Valkarious> OMFG
<@Valkarious> I'm talking to this girl on the phone
<@Valkarious> and all of a sudden this Flash porno ad comes up outta no where
<@Valkarious> "Unnnhhh Mmmmm Oh yeah, baby, pound that sweet pussy"
<@Valkarious> OMFG
<@aGeNt_tHuMb[56k4life]> ROFL
<@aGeNt_tHuMb[56k4life]> she'd be like wtf ...
<@aGeNt_tHuMb[56k4life]> sad cunt ...
<@Valkarious> Well, normally I can talk my way out of things real fast
<@Valkarious> This time.... i dunno
<@Valkarious> "Uhhh OH SHIT... That's my parents" |
#38632 (120/252) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Talin> dialup is like sex...
<Talin> ...somehow
<heinz> It takes 5 attempts before you get connected? ;/
<heinz> You can only go at it in 2 hour periods? :/
<heinz> If you stop for 15 minutes, thats it? :/ |
#39108 (1777/4035) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
* Uziel calls in the goats to feed on their corpses. =D
arcane: mmmm goats
* Vukk shoots the goats and has a feast
Uziel: DAMN YOU GOAT SLAUGHTERING SON OF A BITCH.
Uziel: I will summon forth the corpses of your female ancestors and chain you to their bones.
Uziel: forcing you to drink goat blood by the gallon from their rotten not-really-existent cunts
Uziel: while I scatter the ashes of the goats you have killed
Uziel: over your naked, helpless body, as it's whipped, lashed, and beaten bloody
Uziel: sending the pain of those goats you have disgraced, down your spine.
* Orionis slaps Vukk around with Windows Me
* Orionis threatens Uziel with the Windows ME
* Uziel bows
Uziel: Hails to thee who makes the true definition of pain abundant in our knowledge. =X
arcane: hail! |
#39512 (110/230) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Ariyn> though the last few days i've either dreamt of killing a number of people with a pitchfork, nearly losing my virginity (i always wake up just before it happens), or some other odd thing
<Dan|Else> I'd like to kill people with a pitchfork.
<Dan|Else> And I also find it very scary that I said that before saying that I'd like to lose my virginity. |
#42738 (130/274) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@icelus> So, is there some kind of litmus test to see if a girl is a lesbian, or just not interested? |
#47292 (131/275) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<sleepwlkr> Oh gosh, I met a really annoying Yankee bitch a moment ago at Rautatientori Square. She and her family were looking for a restaurant where they could get decent meat. First I thought I'd guide them to a good eating place, but that stupid cow complained about everything all the time and specified what the restaurant SHOULDN'T be like, so I told the whole family the way to a gay bar and said "Only the best for the lady".
<sleepwlkr> I just had to go to a pub opposite the gay bar for a beer and see their faces when they come out
<sleepwlkr> Well the bitch was yelling at her husband whose face had turned red with anger. Their kids seemed to be just laughing at the incident :-)
<sleepwlkr> Now I'm a bit disappointed that I didn't bring my camera with me.Comment: Translated from Finnish to English.
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#49239 (170/362) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<looksofat> i got 17 cents for food in the next week but i got CoD 2 preordered and pre-payed and IT OWNS ASS |
#50774 (147/309) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@philb> I have a new task at work, I have to improve traffic to the website by not changing anything or advertising
<@philb> I've decided to use chanting
<@philb> I'll tail -f the logs of the webservers on a giant projector screen in an abandoned church
<@philb> and chant a lot. |
#50826 (164/352) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
[lenin-communist] you americans hate communism
[@whipsmart] I love Communism... it's because of Communism that Russian girls will give you a blowjob for a pair of LevisComment: Quakenet #FunChat
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#53836 (188/402) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<NPR> HEY
<NPR> NICE HOUSE
<NPR> BE A REAL SHAME IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO IT
<NPR> YOU NEED PROTECTION IS WHAT I'M SAYING
<NPR> "OOPS" INSURANCE
<NPR> THE SORT OF PROTECTION THAT ONLY A PUBLIC RADIO SERVICE CAN OFFER
* NPR knocks over your lamp
<NPR> OTHERWISE ACCIDENTS HAPPEN
<NPR> YA FOLLOW!? |
#55277 (151/321) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@r0ger> i'm looking at the michigan sex offenders list
<@r0ger> and i already found 6 people i know
<@r0ger> 2 of them i work/worked with
<@ne0n> haha
<@shadow> LOL
<@shadow> nice
<@gHoTi> its cheatin to include yourself in people you have worked with ;)
<@shadow> roflComment: #m1k3y
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#60274 (218/470) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<ellipsis> hurra
<ellipsis> I've got 8 new computer books
<ellipsis> ^_^
<ellipsis> 9, actually, but one of them's Java. |
#60345 (171/365) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<zackeh> Shit. Gym assignment.
<zackeh> Why would you need good flexibility in your regular lifestyle?
<zackeh> In case I find a $50 bill on the floor?...and need to bend to pick it up.
<darkmonkey> SEX LOL
<darkmonkey> say sex...DO ITDOITDOITDOIT
<zackeh> Okay. I'll write something + sex
<darkmonkey> for wierd positions
<zackeh> LOL.
<darkmonkey> like when she has her feet over your shoulder
<darkmonkey> so she has a better orgasm
<darkmonkey> (fuck that's good.)
<zackeh> LOLOL.
<zackeh> LMAO.
<darkmonkey> say that..see what your gym teacher says
<zackeh> Done. Having improved flexibility can help you throughout your daily activities. Examples of activities that require a good flexibility is during sexual intercourse. For instance, each position needs good flexibility to acquire the perfect "feeling." One being when the girl has her feet over your shoulder, which results in an extreme orgasm.
<zackeh> He'll probably laugh. My gym teacher is a joker. |
#61663 (213/457) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<pm-> i am going into the bathroom now to count my money
<pm-> you guys ever do that?
<rigel> if by "count my money" you mean "masturbate" then yesComment: #philosophy
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#210672 (224/482) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
-> From Ultor, to House:
- a friend back at RPI built a "headache generator". He read that the resonant
- frequency of sinus cavities is in the mid-30KHz range and built an oscillator
- to produce that and put it in the heat vents going to the upstairs
- apartment where they were prone to play really loud thumpa-thumpa music. |
#244195 (263/571) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
BigPapaSmurf695: what the hell is a nosegay
az721: it's like a bouquet
BigPapaSmurf695: oh
BigPapaSmurf695: i figured they just put nose and gay together to make a silly name
BigPapaSmurf695: its like saying earhomo
BigPapaSmurf695: or eyefag
az721: ok, i think we should really try to get earhomo into the lexicon |
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