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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..242243244245246247248..599Next> |
#39929 (119/247) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<skycreatoR> hehe awesome
<skycreatoR> today at my job (i work in a cinema) we had the premiere on shrek 2
<skycreatoR> and because of the ocation, green popcorn
<skycreatoR> then some little girl came over to my booth and asked why the popcorns were green
<skycreatoR> i said it was because we put mashed shrek down in the popcorn machine
<skycreatoR> then she began crying and ran away |
#40766 (142/298) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
janeannskinner: it's kinda sad that you're a year younger than me and we're like the same level of maturity
Devious hobo: especially since you're a girl
janeannskinner: exactly my thinking
janeannskinner: I should be all mature and thinking about stuff like global warming
janeannskinner: instead I'm giggling over the idea of the printer coming on the scanner
Devious hobo: hehehehe
janeannskinner: COMING ON TO
janeannskinner: DISREGARD PLS |
#47379 (162/342) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
[ @Aller ] everytime you want ops, you write /msg botname op your_password
[ @ekkIe ] how am i suppose to remember the password
[ @Aller ] uhm, lol
[ @Aller ] you use a password that's easy (for you) to remember
[ @ekkIe ] can i write it in the topic? |
#48902 (161/339) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<BlackDeth> "i wanted to install OS 9 to use classic mode on my laptop but since i already have tiger it said the file system wasnt compatible so i did a clean install and now it wont let me boot up into tiger"
<BlackDeth> "uh yeah... a clean install erases the hard drive." "you mean all my stuff is gone?" "yes." <shouting fuck many times> |
#49755 (182/384) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(mRCUTEO) rpm matthew
(mRCUTEO) sorry rip matthew
[ShoeUnited] (mRCUTEO) rpm matthew <--- I could make an entirely inappropriate spinning in his grave joke right now, but I won't. |
#50443 (122/256) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(elus) oh one bum was taking money in exchange for verbal abuse
(elus) my friend gave him 1 dollar and bitched him out
(BlackDeth) you can bitch out bums for free
(BlackDeth) he got ripped off |
#54430 (186/394) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< calaf> I can't even have my cats in the room if I'm wanking
< calaf> they're other guys so they ruin it . . .
< withnail> so if they were female cats it would be cool
< bubbly> i'm trying to eat breakfast
< calaf> If a cat can form the thought, "If I jigger this doorknob with my paws, the door may open for me," then you know he knows what jacking off is
< calaf> Or, in my case four years ago, "I don't like that he's spending all this time with the girl and not me. I'm going to shit in her book bag."
< calaf> The General did that. The 911 of cat terrorism |
#55316 (187/397) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Analogy> I haven't taken a shower in days.
<Analogy> DAYS.
* silentjoe backs away from analogy
<Analogy> My hair has so much oil in it, Bush is gonna invade it next. |
#56019 (144/302) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Stupid> Children need to feel secure, so strap them down whenever possible. |
#56577 (149/317) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Stupid_0> Never compromise your principles, except to get laid or if there's a chance of a pay rise. |
#16120 (151/317) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<ShadiZar> get your happy ass over here then
<ShadiZar> i could use a good hard... well, anything
<`KArmA> oh sure. . . its always karma come do this for me. . come out to texas karma, fuck me like a beast karma, oh harder karma
<`KArmA> what about *MY* needs goddamnit!?!? |
#17260 (154/326) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Hoju> I'm not going to stalk you or anything.
<BioHazard> yeah right mr stalky mcstalker
<Hoju> rofl
<BioHazard> if that is your real name |
#22069 (140/294) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<moijk|mpr> Our sales guy have become a alcoholic, is that a bad sign?
<Jumper> depends, does he sell more, less or equal?
<moijk|mpr> well, he have yet to show up for work for the last week so I guess that ought to tell his current preformance.
<moijk|mpr> but he is 32, lives with his mother in the basement, has no girlfriend, hangs out in pubs where the teenagers hang out (18 limit) and drives his mothers car. i would have started drinking if i were him too :) |
#29882 (190/404) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Zax`away> BUT WHAT DOES GOD DO WHEN A KITTEN MASTURBATES!? |
#32045 (164/346) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<RoseyCat> I didnt even nothice
<RoseyCat> wow, I type with a lisp now |
#13664 (153/324) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Mack_Salmon> do you ever listen to Meat Loaf?
<Flirbnic> No.
<Mack_Salmon> he's food....
<Mack_Salmon> er!
<Mack_Salmon> he's good
<Mack_Salmon> whoops |
#15424 (136/286) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<ZondrZout> You sloppy ASP coders!
<Xtreee> ZondrZout, I am @ the stage where I am happy when my code works :)
<ZondrZout> My boss is at the stage where he's happy when I work |
#23622 (121/253) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
* +Soul-Reaver continues his evil nocturnal deeds
<+Cyrrex> wackin it again, eh SR? |
#23932 (145/305) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Claire> My sis brought me a can of Vanilla coke
<Claire> ...odd...I wasnt aware vanilla tasted like soap |
#25628 (142/298) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
* ashie is already starting to miss senior year of high school
<ashie> i cut school so much, i'd end up coming in on holidays, not knowing there was no school |
#26278 (148/312) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<KArmA-> imagine someone sliding a cold, very long, narrow hose up your ass
<phr0work> it can't be worse than a man's finger
<phr0work> ugh
<KArmA-> um
<KArmA-> trust me |
#27182 (153/323) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<peekaboo> age?
<teethgrinder> i'm strong
<teethgrinder> 28 years old
<peekaboo> virg?
<peekaboo> plz say no
<teethgrinder> haha, no
<teethgrinder> aquarius |
#28491 (148/312) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
* Keeshi slaps Dark around with a large spiked dildo.
<Keeshi> :P
<Darklyte> wtf
<Darklyte> why the hell do you have a spiked dildo?
<Keeshi> Trouts are no fun. |
#28923 (121/253) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(@Sabrejack): if you dropped the soap in front of evets, he'd fuck you in the ass, implant a tracking device, a keylogger, a virus, and a self-hiding trojan to make you drop the soap on command. |
#32129 (178/378) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<tigergirl> Why it would be too early to say good morning?
<Bringa> cause morning starts at 3pm imo :P
<Antimatter> heh. g'morning, then :)
* malady goes to bed. v_v
<tigergirl> "What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good on this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"
<Helleshin> all of them at once
<Bringa> tigergirl, I postulate that for someone, somewhere, this morning is good. Also, I would like to make you see the potential for good that lies in this morning as it does in every morning. Also, I like to mock your doubtlessly depressive plight by stating how good I am doing. On this good morning.
<Kurt> but it's afternoon!Comment: (circa 11pm EST on #angband@WorldIRC)
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