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#29019 (127/263) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@michael> i think what we all want to know, orion, is whether the ice cream truck hit the kid
<@orion> unfortunately not
<@orion> it was just some kids screaming after the missed creamy treat opportunity |
#29852 (147/309) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<phide> I've got the Village People on my cell to confuse people as to my sexual preferences. |
#30054 (171/359) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
*** Signoff: usrbingeek (Quit: I patched Windows XP and all I got was this lousy reboot.) |
#32729 (193/407) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Mayseth> And I'm going to start carrying a sock puppet around with me.
<Dweller> good god.. there is another one like me somehwere?
<Mayseth> Whenever I excuse myself I shall place it in my chair and tell them "This is Lefty the sock puppet.. he shall rule in my stead while I am otherwise detained" |
#32811 (160/338) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< Mr-Bond> os[Windows XP Professional (5.1 - 2600)] uptime[2days 2hrs 7mins 10secs] cpu[1-AMD , 1999MHz, 256KB (42% Load)] mem[Usage: 443/512MB (86.52%) [|||||||||-]] gfx[RADEON 7200 SERIES ] screen[1024x768 32bit 100Hz]
< Mr-Bond> hate the way that yoke says 1999MHz
< Mr-Bond> its a 2 gig godanmit!
< acous> :)
< acous> it's for tax purposes
< acous> 2 gigs are more expensive to tax
< acous> :)
< Mr-Bond> you serious? |
#33081 (176/370) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(fleet): I had a bad sexual experience last night
(fleet): I cut my penis on a jagged vagina
(nme): that wasn't a vagina, I told you to stop fucking those goddamn pepsi cans |
#138821 (323/693) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Jacois> I remember before the internet when I used to get turned on by a cleavage. Now it takes 2 girls and a cup. |
#229169 (254/540) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< BlueWeasel> man
< BlueWeasel> first hurricane ike
< BlueWeasel> now a report about Windows 7 Beta coming
< BlueWeasel> the disasters just don't stop |
#230434 (274/584) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<MajorWood> fack
<MajorWood> i just clogged the toilet
<MajorWood> had to put on a latex glove to manually unplug
<LiquidManZero> You fisted your toilet...? |
#243326 (71/145) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Anarkii> Security staff in the airport's Qantas domestic terminal discovered a number of passengers had made it to their gate just before 6.30pm (AEST) without proper security screening
<+brad`> how can you tell someone hasnt been properly screened?
<rioter> brad` they are not walking like they just got fucked in the arse |
#295143 (176/370) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<kami> I keep accidently stalking this girl |
#295377 (136/282) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@dmd> if you watch JAWS backwards, it's a movie about a shark that keeps throwing up people until they have to open a beach. |
#295406 (127/263) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<smurf> Hi - I'm sure someone has told you why you accidentally got k-lined earlier today, but in case you didn't know, a bot we run went crazy and k-lined all of #furry, thinking you were a giant botnet >_< |
#298536 (130/268) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Stumpie> how do I make firefox so my fat wife cannot delete my porn bookmarks while I am at work?Comment: #ubuntu@irc.freenode.net
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#304535 (80/160) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<MiSFiT> wouldn't it be great if terrorists were on facebook?
<MiSFiT> Mohammed has become a fan of Abu Hamza
<@NoX> Facebook: Mohammed Abiim is now about to high jack an aeroplane
<@NoX> Al'Queda likes this
<@Polynomial> The Taliban posted on your wall: THIS REALLY WORKS! Put a bomb in 6 local schools and attach a strip of paper with the name of your true love on it to each. Make them go off at 9am and your true love will kiss you before midnight! |
#304896 (56/110) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<red_delicious> slenderbot, you're growing up so fast!
<SlenderBot> I'LL PREPARE A HUNDRED COFFINS. |
#73 (322/692) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<ooze> take a hot swedish chick from behind, bend over to her ear. and whisper "i have aids", then try to keep your penis inside of her.
<ooze> thats swedish rodeo. |
#305 (209/440) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<iln> would you fuck a 15 year old.
<AlmtyBob> the question is
<AlmtyBob> would a 15 year old fuck me? |
#632 (159/333) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<AlmtyBob> i HATE MY MOM
<AlmtyBob> fucking I'm just sitting here playing oni
<AlmtyBob> and she walks in
<AlmtyBob> SHE LIVES ACCROSS THE COUNTRY
<AlmtyBob> she is NOT ALLOWED to just walk in
<AlmtyBob> didn't bother calling saying she'd be home
<AlmtyBob> didn't call me from the airport
<AlmtyBob> just bam, walks in
<AlmtyBob> what if I'd been jerking to hardcore teenage lesbo porn?
<hypr> AlmtyBob: dont forget to take da debbe does dallas p0rno out of the vcr
<AlmtyBob> actually it's interview with the vibrator
<hypr> haha
<Lk2k1> Bob has naked pictures of lux in his room.
<AlmtyBob> but I stored that away a while ago
<AlmtyBob> all my porn is digital
<AlmtyBob> oh thanks for reminding me
<AlmtyBob> gotta take the flash card out of my digicam
<AlmtyBob> lest she get curious
<hypr> wtf u made a homemade p0rn?
<AlmtyBob> just pics of people I know
<AlmtyBob> nonnude
<AlmtyBob> time to take out the trash and /clear |
#1325 (184/390) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<immi> a penny for your thoughts
<dr\gonzo> a nickle for anal with your mom |
#3927 (150/313) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<cornbeef> 8? i didnt even know what a vagina was at 8
<Scofco> I didn't learn to masturbate until I was 17... up until then I always thought 'masturbation' was a type of pasta dish they served in fancy restaurants |
#4278 (220/466) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<BombScare> i beat the internet
<BombScare> the end guy is hard |
#4745 (174/365) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<timmo> wtf is sunburn
<Amanda`> Are you serious?
<timmo> yes |
#6571 (154/322) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<felix> eek
<skrike> felix just screamed like a girl
<felix> no, I said "eek"
<skrike> girls say "eek"
<skrike> YOU GIRL
<oat`meal> guys say "oh SHIT, what the FUCK, BITCH" |
#6781 (156/326) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<^o-o^> somebody told me once never to use the words "I", "myself" or "me" in a resume
<^o-o^> anybody here follow this rule ?
<DeLorean> No.
<DeLorean> It sounds wishy-washy.
<cafuego> I myself have never applied that rule to me. |
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