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#37846 (108/216) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<ashura> anyone here familiar with emacs commands
<ashura> I tried to quit and now I don't appear to have gone anywhere. ^_^;
<bork> C-g C-g C-g C-g C-x C-c
<Maz> That sounds like someone choking to death. |
#38363 (130/262) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<rhapsody> who's good with perl?
<omnivector> rhapsody: that's like saying who's good with sodomy
<rhapsody> oh
<rhapsody> hey will
<rhapsody> help me with a perl problem
<doompie> gah fuck you. |
#38787 (117/239) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
[@Persephone] if you are talking to some "chick" online who says she only has 3 pairs of shoes chances are its a dude |
#43233 (136/276) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<DArkEyeS> it may seem like I'm not like other guys and I'm not after the girl for sex, but in reality, I just don't want her to see my small penis. |
#43352 (132/268) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Karlsen> so, I'm removing gentoo now, should I go for xp or 2k? (laptop)
<issuez> xp
<anthill> 2k
<Mootar> gentooComment: EFNet/#geekissues
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#43593 (183/377) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Mediator> You know what would be hawt?
<Mediator> Lindsey lohan in a full master chief outfit
<Bonzi> You are by far the person least likely to ever have sex in this channelComment: irc.rscheatnet.com #rscheatnet
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#43685 (127/257) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<cmantito> money is no object!
<warfreak2> yes, it's a class that has no instances |
#44241 (107/215) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Dan> So here are two pyros comparing burn stories.. is this like the proverbial whipping out of the cocks, except for pyros?
*time lapse*
Jace> in chemistry class we were using bunsen burners, i took out a penny and decided to melt it
Dan> SWEET ASS
Jace> it was very sweet until i decided to cool it down in a beaker of what i thought was water
Dan> ..oh fuck
Jace> i mean the penny was melted...and i dumped it into a beaker of HCl
Dan> OH FUCK AND A HALF.
Jace> not only did it make a loud enough noise cooling itself down and getting everyones attention, but because of the heat change, and the fact that it was HCl, the beaker broke, spilling HCl, now hot because of the penny, all over. So it started eating away the table and floor and my lab coat.
Dan> Somehow I think your cock is bigger than mine.Comment: Ooh, fire.
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#45855 (168/344) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
-dmwaters/Wallops- Ok all, three machines going down
<-- Netsplit (asimov.freenode.net irc.freenode.net) 4 people quit.
<-- Netsplit (asimov.freenode.net irc.freenode.net) 6 people quit.
<MrNightmare> uh oh
<Phlip> it's armageddon!
<Phlip> every man for himself!
<-- Netsplit (asimov.freenode.net irc.freenode.net) 4 people quit.
<spasmFace> War of the Worlds!
* Phlip picks up spasm and uses him as a meat shield
<Phlip> I count 3 splits...
<Phlip> hmm, maybe it's not as major as I made out...
<-- Netsplit (asimov.freenode.net irc.freenode.net) 37 people quit.
<Phlip> I retract my previous statement.Comment: #blenderchat on FreeNode
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#56138 (143/291) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<CantOutRunADuck> man i wish i had a little brother so i could play with Transformers without looking like a tool
<bored> you'd still look like a tool
<iGuy> i think the fact that you are a tool makes you look like a tool. having a little brother just means you have company in the toolchest |
#68018 (188/390) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Rod> i wonder if that little RC plane with the camera on it could fly into some open windows and then drive around on the floor looking up ladies skirts
<Chris> too noisy
<Rod> all you need is a deaf girl and an open window
<Rod> and a questionable set of moral principles
<Chris> that's how lots of Rod's stories start
<Rod> most of them come from "101 Things To Do With A Deaf Girl, An Open Window, And A Questionable Set Of Moral Principles" by Noam Chomsky
<John> One of his lesser-known works.
<Rod> i dont want to spoil the book, but 99 of the 101 things are "Rape her."
<Rod> 101 is the plane and video camera thing
<Rod> you dont want to know about 100. it makes 1-99 look like ballroom fucking dancing |
#112057 (125/253) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Darkmark> Failure is nature's way of saying "Insert coin to continue" |
#134490 (169/347) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Soccerbum> around novemberish
<Soccerbum> i through some pumpkin seeds down the sink by mistake...
<Soccerbum> well today, i just found a plant growing in our drain.
<Soccerbum> <_< |
#296936 (42/78) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@timmo> a friend of mine whos in the airforce
<@timmo> says that since everyone eats mres
<@timmo> and eat at the same time
<@timmo> basically everyone has to shit at the exact same time
<@timmo> so theyll be convoying through the dessert
<@timmo> and all the trucks will stop
<@timmo> and doors will fly open
<@timmo> and everyones shitting out the doors
<@Rjx> meals ready to shitComment: #geekissues
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#300773 (169/347) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Nome> but edward doesn't even look like a vampire
<@Nome> he just looks like a palefaced turd
<@Nome> his acting is incredibly stiff
<@Nome> i don't understand at all how any girls could like him as an actor
<@Nome> all he did in the first movie was kinda mope around and act emo
<@Warchamp7> You just answered your question |
#301176 (188/388) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Mike_W> my toilet is having issues, evidently i've been blaming my cat for pissing in the basement by error
<Mike_W> when my toilet is flushed, my furnace in the basement gets a golden shower
<Worf> and then the furnace turns on and the smell propagates throughout the house
<Mike_W> it's not a _lot_ an ounce out of a gallon
<Mike_W> but over time that's been the cause of this issue i've been near ready to get rid of my cat over
<Mike_W> and enough to rust out the top of the furnace ductwork
<Mike_W> I found the issue today when i was rebooting the terrastation after the power outage and mary was upstairs. she flushed the toilet, I got wet (terrastation is next to furnace)
<Mike_W> it doesn't propagate through the house thankfully, it's just in the basement area
<Mike_W> i've been trying to find where the cat was pissing for a month
<Mike_W> turns out it's been me all along...sigh |
#301373 (168/344) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
GoKillPeople: Why is it called bad gas when it feels so good to fart?
PartyGirl1450981: some days I cannot fathom why I tolerate you |
#303630 (196/406) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Tarkaan> holy shit
<Tarkaan> my electrical guy is here
<Tarkaan> and my elec was all retarded
<Tarkaan> fuses bridged with copper wire
<Tarkaan> he's replacing that shit with breakers
<Tarkaan> so I don't fucking die
<ionine_> Tarkaan, did he tell you to hold two wires while he makes a bowtie?
<Tarkaan> I'm not falling for that againComment: #geekissues
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#305954 (45/85) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
DrZoidberg: i have more beef hanging around in my colon than three Weinerschnitzels have in their combined freezers.
EvilBunnyFuFu: thankfully, Dr Zoidberg has no clue what a colon is..
Russ: Colon, not to be confused with a semi-colon.
DrZoidberg: semi-colon is half-assed |
#306314 (245/513) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<OctopusRainbows>today i exposed myself for jello shots
<OctopusRainbows>just got back from gay weekend at the beach
<ME-tan>fabulous
<OctopusRainbows>there were "shots 4 hooters" and "shots 4 cocks" signs. i took advantage of both. the guys with the shots for cock sign were very very confused
<ME-tan>bwahahaha
<OctopusRainbows>poor gay guys. they did not want to see girlcock XD
<Ling>wat
<OctopusRainbows>haha exactlyComment: Transgender support channel...
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#11892 (145/295) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<lb-> They kept telling me I couldn't talk to a doctor.
<lb-> I was like "Well, I drank a good amount of my own pee. I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO A FUCKING DOCTOR." |
#15709 (127/257) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<PetrDoubt> Wow, that's elite. Customer's DSL is down, so he sends a partial
traceroute. The middle of the traceroute. Not the beginning. Not the part
where it stops. The middle.
<PetrDoubt> "My DSL is down. Here's some hops in alternet."
<PetrDoubt> Thanks, dude. |
#18465 (158/323) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<jitspoe> friends, heh! Social interaction! Heh, a game programmer craves not these things! |
#18527 (141/287) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Midian> ah yes
<Midian> for every poor animal i slaughter in this game
<Midian> i find gold on them
<Midian> because i know, bears love gold
<Midian> the young bear i killed must have eaten a fat sack of gold before i found him |
#18621 (156/319) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Pryde> okay I gotta go rescue a cow - bbl later
* Peptis imagines pryde running along to the baywatch movie and pulling the cow out of the dam |
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