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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..226227228229230231232..599Next> |
#1903 (146/295) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Delusion> "US attacked by four concurrent hijacking incidents. US gas stations celebrate by immediate 25 cent price increase." |
#3687 (183/375) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<OutLore> your the moron that believed us, i's not my fault your tent fell in the river |
#4838 (156/318) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Twingy> almost as annoying as you dal, except your hear longer
<DAL9000> that would be almost insulting if it were grammatically correct |
#6894 (160/326) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
AtomicInternet: I'm going to download GTA3 and Warcraft III when it comes out and distribute them to everyone.
mavstring: that is wrong.
AtomicInternet: yes, it is. A single tear rolled down my cheek. |
#7280 (155/315) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
( Lev ) have you SEEN the people who wear the I LOVE LINUX T-shirts....that does more damage to the OS than a billion microsoft blue-screens |
#7435 (197/405) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Owyn> I can't double click on a folder to open it.
<Owyn> THat's not a good thing.
<Phuser> keep the chat running man JUST KEEP THE CHAT RUNNING!
*** Owyn has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<Phuser> damn
* Phuser throws his hands in the air
<Phuser> WHY GOD, WHY?! |
#7658 (183/375) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<xwred1> my friend on aim is annoying me I want to hack them
<xwred1> I just want to get in and format his drive
<xwred1> I asked him for his address ip and he said its 127.0.0.1
<TheOnyx> heh
<TheOnyx> Do you know what 127.0.0.1 is?
<xwred1> its an address
<xwred1> loopback, or something, right?
<xwred1> it loops to him, then back to me
<xwred1> thats how I can hax0r him |
#7838 (147/298) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<rob`> wai, self-pity. is there anything more pathetic? :)
<nev> *nod* whining about it on irc ;) |
#8236 (171/352) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Reaver_Reload> theres over 500 retards at my college
<Reaver_Reload> its like david vs goliath, except golaith is a retard
<Folken> So you kill retards with rocks?
<Reaver_Reload> Yes.
<Reaver_Reload> Yes we do. |
#8484 (110/220) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Bobski> goconnect. the internet equivalent of the dole.
<jamesm> what is it?
<Bobski> a freebie internet service for those who blew their last 5 bucks on mcdonalds
<jamesm> how do they make money?
<Bobski> you install a wanky dialer and it spatters your screen with ads. mostly mcdonalds ads actually :)
<jamesm> in case you find another fiver |
#9304 (229/474) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<jre> My underwear seems to be covered with a crusty white substance. Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> what does it smell like?
<jre> Like semen
<Zeluth> you have anthrax
<jre> The carton of milk was filled with some sort of milky-white liquid. Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> How good at you are pancake making?
<jre> Terrible.
<Zeluth> its anthrax
<jre> I opened my hole puncher to find a large collection of small white discs, about the size of a hole a hole-punch makes. Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> try inserting the paper disc in your urethra
<jre> Done, but I can't get it out now.
<Zeluth> congratulations yopu just gave yourself anthrax
<jre> I just received a parcel in the mail filled with a white powder. An accompanying note informed me to "take penacilin now" and that "Allah is great". Is it anthrax?
<^Vulpix^> jre: NOPE IT ISN'T, IT'S FREE COCAINE |
#33454 (186/382) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<mouse> I think my pulse has stopped.
* mouse reboots |
#34321 (176/360) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<CFC2> every have one of those days where you want to code but you cant be bothered
<ryan[WIN]> those are called "weekdays" |
#35111 (257/539) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<TLA-Sammybeany> My step-dad told me a story today that cracked me up . . .
<TLA-Sammybeany> We had some of the Shake 'N Bake chicken stuff the other night for dinner . . . apparently he took the leftovers to work for lunch . . .
<TLA-Sammybeany> One of his co-workers, who happens to be black, walked up to him and was like "Damn, yo! You bring fried chicken to work and you don't give me any? What's up wit' dat'?!"
<TLA-Sammybeany> So my step dad said "oh, well, it's only that Shake 'N Bake stuff. It's nothing special." The black dude was like "It's about to be Shake 'N Take if you don't start sharing, man! I'm gonna' shake you until you drop the chicken, then I'll take it!" |
#35570 (222/458) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<tharaka> wow, this is a new one...
<tharaka> microsoft connected to its ONLINE troubleshooting centre
<tharaka> only to tell me, "You Do Not Currently Have A Connection To The Internet"
<ducklord> they're making fun of you
<tharaka> is coz i is bleck
<ducklord> probably
<ducklord> they're trying to get you to destroy your computer in a murderous black rage
<ducklord> and/or pawn it |
#36259 (130/262) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Jilly> i like bondage
<Jilly> do u?
<Jilly> pm me if u do
<Edestiny> this isnt jill
<Edestiny> she isnt signed on to msn
<Edestiny> evening mike
<Jilly> hi edd |
#39561 (138/278) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<+phulcrum> i was just wondering if i ordered the sims 2 now, will i get it the day of the release
<~BalefireX> why would you buy sims 2
<~BalefireX> when evil genius is coming out
<~BalefireX> evil genius = sims for people with a penis
<+phulcrum> cause i need something to hold me over till evil genius gets here
<+phulcrum> plus chicks play the sims
<+phulcrum> saw two pretty cute ones looking for it in best buy today
<+phulcrum> i was gunna talk to them
<+phulcrum> but then i remembered im fat
<+phulcrum> and leftComment: #gideontech
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#43098 (140/282) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
* Beska changes topic to 'next one to change the topic is gya'
* Beska changes topic to 'next one to change the topic is gay' |
#44953 (81/159) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<beafet> gender neutral name
<Buliwif> kelly
<Buliwif> gene
<WeirdHat> randy
<Buliwif> Randy: ok for a guy... porn star future for a chick
<WeirdHat> my mom's name is randy
<Buliwif> ...... |
#50344 (145/293) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<che> there's a programmer's union?
<Wintermute> yes
<Wintermute> Local 100100101110101010010 |
#52765 (121/243) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Maxor> you know you're addicted to world of warcraft when you hack onto a temple's wireless internet with your laptop, which is you also have two batteries for, to do a quest with a friend in China during your younger brother's bar mitzvah |
#52991 (135/273) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Maniaman> bah
<Maniaman> i forget how to spell maintenance
<Maniaman> wait nevermindComment: #gscript at irc.freenode.net
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#56337 (163/331) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Mal> I may have made a fatal error in my personal development.
<Wad_Shooter> What'dya mean?
<Mal> OK, so a couple of years ago I graduate, get ready to go to university.
<Mal> And I'm a nice guy and everything, but I'm a bit quiet. Shy, you know?
<Wad_Shooter> Yeah...
<Mal> So I decide to become more of a quick speaker. The kind of guy who's got a good one-liner for any situation. Pretty easy stuff - I started by using a few characters from books, sort of borrowing their mannerisms, and it eventually stuck. I started becoming more talkative, and more outwardly funny.
<Mal> Basically I was just coming out and saying the shit that was going through my head anyway.
<Mal> Problem was, at around the same time I started reading these fucking quote sites - Bash, QDB, you know.
<Wad_Shooter> OK...
<Mal> So I'm still coming out with funny stuff that's going through my head - but now it's like 99% 'your mum' jokes.
<Wad_Shooter> LOL, smooth
<Mal> Shut up, your mum takes it in the arse. |
#65846 (150/308) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Digital> Tampons are lame.
<Sephiroth> it's the string that's a little bizarre
<Digital> Why is the string bizarre ?
<Sephiroth> I half expect that if I pull on it, my girlfriend will wind up and say something |
#33905 (189/389) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<RandomSpork> I saw Dawn of the Dead yesterday
<RandomSpork> ha ha ha
<RandomSpork> about halfway through the movei
<RandomSpork> the theater starts to get this really BAD smell
<@MrMog> oo?
<RandomSpork> and there's this annoying drip drip dripping sound
<@MrMog> oo???
<RandomSpork> turns out there was a bunch of 7 years olds in the upper seats with large cokes
<@MrMog> ..
<@MrMog> that story sucked
<RandomSpork> but it was TRUE
<@MrMog> I thought there was a dead body or something
<@MrMog> jeez
<RandomSpork> it wasn't coke that was dripping
<@MrMog> ...
<@MrMog> ewwComment: irc.esper.net #rotfw
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