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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..224225226227228229230..599Next> |
#10423 (125/251) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<nwinter> i think i could've made a better spreadsheet with graph paper
and a crayon.
<hep> hahaha
<nwinter> i had to put an audit i did into a spreadsheet because
apparently my boss doesn't like documents in the UNIVERSALLY READABLE
format known as ASCII.
<nwinter> he will soon receive my weekly status report as an attachment
named "micromanagement.txt" |
#113649 (108/214) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<dewdude> last time i made chili it was on a sunday
<dewdude> and i was in the store, 9 in the morning
<dewdude> buying a six pack
<dewdude> and chili mixins
<dewdude> and people were like "have you no shame?"
<dewdude> and i'm like "it's for the chili"
<dewdude> once i told the stuck-up old lady in her church clothes the beer was for chili she shut-up
<dewdude> then her husband was like '
<dewdude> "what kind of peppers you usin?"
<dewdude> ... bastard took my chili recipie |
#120088 (200/410) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<r4v5> man, some day watching teenage girls take their clothes off and masturbate will stop being so damn awesome
<r4v5> that is when i will know i am gay or dead |
#162354 (307/639) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<skumby> i think only japanese chicks can get away with blue hair, a miniskirt, and a severed tentacle hanging from their twat |
#215897 (221/453) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<kris> damn 1337, now everyone's numberplate is talking to me |
#250456 (110/222) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Periwinkle> oh man!
<Periwinkle> i just made the best thing
<@stoor> ...
<mikka> what?
<@stoor> hello?
<Periwinkle> oh shit, sorry about that
<Periwinkle> was watching a scary movie on tv and it made me jump so hard i hit myself in the face with my sandwich and got mayonnaise in my eye
<@stoor> hahaha
<mikka> so what did you make?
<Periwinkle> the sandwich |
#301993 (270/566) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<NH4NO3> So you spent $1500 on your computer that "is designed to run hot"?
<Tomazim> Precisely
<NH4NO3> Gee, I wish I that that kind of money to...
* NH4NO3 puts on his sunglasses.
<NH4NO3> Burn.
<tavaryn> YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH |
#308202 (57/107) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Nanobot> Roses are dead, violets are too, sugar is usually high fructose corn syrup, and we could both have equally stable relationships with countless other partners.
<@Moon_Dog3VO> ...
<@Nanobot> I think I got the meter off a bit
<@Moon_Dog3VO> maybe |
#308226 (73/145) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Jax184> A poem in Punctuation.
<Jax184> ^<@<.@* (Hat less at less point at star)
<Jax184> }"_# | (Backbrace double base pound space bar)
<Jax184> -@\$&/_% (Dash at cash and slash base rate)
<Jax184> !( @|=> (Wow open tab at bar is great)
<Jax184> ;`+\$?^? (Semi backquote plus cash huh DEL)
<Jax184> ,#"~|)^G (Command pound double tilde bar close BEL) |
#309684 (60/112) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(@pirokoro) you know your city is fucked up when William Gibson uses it as example of emergent chaotic dystopia :P |
#33865 (189/385) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Megasaxon> haha
<Megasaxon> americans amuse me
<Megasaxon> they're so dump
<Megasaxon> er
<Megasaxon> :(
<Bendit> hahahahahaha |
#34962 (232/478) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Lazesharp> OMG when did bash change to www.phrise.com!???
<TeddyBear> apparently since you went there last..
<Lazesharp> ...
<Lazesharp> damn your bulletproof logic |
#35172 (214/440) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
* sadistic-ss is going to buy Calcium pills
<sadistic-ss> healthy and doesn't taste bad, like milk does
<kobok> sadistic-ss: Milk tastes good as long as you don't confuse the cow and the bull. |
#36012 (133/267) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
--- CFC|Laptop has changed the topic to: idle, idle, idle, idle, idle, idle, idle, idle NETSPLIT NETSPLIT
* Elleo-lap has a sudden vision of idling badgers |
#44847 (141/283) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Lisa: your idea worked!
Lisa: you are the best ever!
Lisa: thats why you are my favorite
Lisa: Thank God for smart people
Phlip: :D I live to serve
Phlip: and to gloat
Phlip: but mostly to serve |
#51502 (237/487) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
K2xL: can you imagine a chat convo in java?
A_TEENS: dude stfu before i extend MyFist and implement yourFace.
K2xL: you're way ArrayListOutOfBounds. be careful before i garbage collect your gf.
K2xL: how's your gf anyway? isn't her private members public?
A_TEENS: hey... shutup man. her class is PROTECTED.
K2xL: Oh yeah? How much instanceOf() has she given you? What does her GetSome() method return?
A_TEENS: You'd get a stack overflow error bitch.
K2xL: Or NoSuchElementException ;)
A_TEENS: ... Fuck(Object You).Comment: k2xlgames.com
|
#52687 (118/236) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Rieger> The trouble with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard. |
#53284 (156/316) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<ShroomDuck> but the head we get here in ontario is fuckin horrible
<ShroomDuck> HEAT!
<ShroomDuck> I MEANT HEAT! |
#54117 (196/402) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(Chongablonga) this guy i know was convinced he could breakdance
(Chongablonga) so we always used to be like 'john show us some breakdancing' and he'd just hurl himself at the floor and spin on his face |
#56705 (170/346) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<^KiwiKid^> OMG, I heard a beeping and thought it was my bus.
<^KiwiKid^> I couldn't be bothered coming here and typing bye and I yelled bye to my laptop... |
#12055 (198/406) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<fecolalia> i try and be humble
<fecolalia> but I KNOW MORE THAN YOU
<fecolalia> SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP |
#12291 (150/304) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Hurricane> I wonder if the Banner people would be offended if I started a
little project that would require about 400 inserts per second
on the Oracle server.
<Krinberry> Easy way to find out, Bran :)
<Hurricane> Yes! Exploration through experimentation is what a University
is all about, after all. :)
<Gord> They mean pot and orgies, not database hosing! (: |
#14366 (154/312) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<^_-> oftentimes i'll be looking at porn and feel the urge for movies
<^_-> so i'll go on random filesharing programs and start downloading some
<^_-> but by the time i orgasm the movies still aren't done
<^_-> and i delete all of the movies.
<Funk> That happens to me too
<Funk> You want to know what's worse?
<Funk> I have a 2Meg/sec LAN connection. |
#15725 (136/274) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<EarthShaman> note to self: www.manpages.com is NOT an online resource to get
*nix man pages |
#16284 (161/327) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Fembot> I choose you, PINGachu!
<Fembot> Variable sized packet attack! |
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