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#46442 (234/426) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<%PortoRob> okay, this is a good story
<%PortoRob> the pastors daughter and i fooled around
<%PortoRob> and it involved carrots
<%PortoRob> in her
<%PortoRob> when we were done, we put the carrots back in the fridge
<%spock1104> LOL
<%PortoRob> and her mom put them in stew that night
<%spock1104> oh man
<%spock1104> that's awesome
<%PortoRob> so we're at the table, eating, and KJ and are trying not to laugh as her mother, sister, two brothers, and father eat carrots that were only hours before firmly embedded into her vaginaComment: #WPI
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#46474 (187/339) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<fr_gment> Right-wing, fundamentalist Christian religious groups are proponents of teaching abstinence over contraception in schools, correct?
<autrereine> Correct.
<fr_gment> Abstinence didn't save the Virgin Mary! |
#49617 (213/387) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<seano> when I was 17, 17 year old girls seemed like the best thing in the world
<Scola> and they don't now?Comment: #uiuc
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#50484 (223/407) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@ChrisH> Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes
<@ChrisH> by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident"
<@ChrisH> "OH DEAR GOD NO!!!" George W. Bush exclaims. "That's terrible!!" His
<@ChrisH> staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the
<@ChrisH> president sits, head in hands. Finally, the President, devastated, looks
<@ChrisH> up and asks.......... "How many is a Brazillion??!" |
#50571 (169/305) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<GenericLoser> We recieved our Red Ribbon Week wristbands yesterday.
<GenericLoser> (Red Ribbon Week has long past.)
<GenericLoser> Our instructor said, "You should probably wear these anyway."
<GenericLoser> Making a joke, I replied, "Yeah, just because Red Ribbon Weeks is over, that doesn't mean you can start doing drugs again."
<GenericLoser> And our instructor replies, very serious, "Yeah, my goal is to stay off for a month." |
#51574 (204/370) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
bryan1835: using php5 with xml is like beating a midget in a footrace.
bryan1835: it's so freaking easy, it's not even funny.
bryan1835: okay, it's a little funny. |
#52440 (202/366) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<The_Franchise> there were 4 girls working at each security check point at the airport in tokyo
<The_Franchise> 2 were handling bags and stuff
<The_Franchise> 1 was checking the xrays
<The_Franchise> and 1 was there to bow to you after you walk thru the metal detector |
#52828 (137/245) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<frosty-theaussie> help me, i have on day to make up my mind for university/college :(
<frosty-theaussie> i can pretty much get into any course i want, i got the score, but i dont know what i want to do :(
<marcf> dont be like me
<frosty-theaussie> why?
<marcf> sat on my bum for a year and a half after school finished
<frosty-theaussie> oh
<marcf> twas a pretty good chair though |
#54036 (221/401) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+lax> i feel like an asshole
<+lax> at lunch we couldnt decide if this person was a girl or boy
<+lax> i said it was a girl
<+lax> and so we all chipped in a dollar
<+lax> and someone went over and asked
<+lax> and she started crying |
#55095 (176/318) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mroach> if you use the Hebrew locale, do progress bars go right to left? |
#56465 (244/446) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
-!- EvilTaxi [blah@eviltaxi.rh.rit.edu] has joined #Ikaruga
-!- EvilTaxi [blah@eviltaxi.rh.rit.edu] has left #Ikaruga []
< snacky> and don't come back
< NuclearDog> Yeah. Asshole.
< snacky> seriously
< snacky> that guy makes me sick
-!- EvilTaxi [blah@eviltaxi.rh.rit.edu] has joined #Ikaruga
< snacky> hello friend
< EvilTaxi> hello
< snacky> let's trade dessert recipes please |
#62458 (240/442) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<CellularZipper> im gonna 3-way with jessica and maegan tonight
<Soul> take some pictures of them for me
<CellularZipper> ....
<CellularZipper> how do you take pictures over the phone? |
#63485 (209/383) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+Daemonic> evolution is a flawed theory
<+Catalyst> What are you, from Alabama? |
#70439 (246/448) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Panda-> i love irc so much more than my family
<Panda-> mainly because my grandmother doesnt recognize me
<Panda-> BUT AUTHSERV DOES! |
#76256 (158/284) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Chocoboko> AOL has a more aggressive marketing scheme than GEICO. :P
<Chocoboko> I'd love to get a slip in the mail offering me 1100 hours of free car insurance. |
#86748 (248/454) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<datagram> he's half japanese half vietnamese
<datagram> which means he'd be 1/2 okay with me saying gook
<Lordnynex> thats a reasonable mathematical approach to racism |
#110375 (259/477) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[thom] I'm going to order one of those MIND erasing kits...
[xexyz] a bong, thom? |
#117599 (176/318) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Celox> I'd be terrible with kids, specifically bedtime stories, I can't lie to kids
<Celox> they'd ask me if that really happened and I'd just say no, citing all the historical and scientific inaccuracies
<Celox> then I'd explain human psychology as best we understand it as a means of further proving that would never happen because people don't really act like that
<Celox> but then I'd reassure them that due to quantum physics in an alternate dimension far away from here it is entirely possible that something did happen that was at least fairly similar to the story even though we have no worldly form of proving it within our collective lifetimes
<Celox> then I'd say goodnight |
#132854 (144/258) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@toxik> Guys, date("Y") doesn't return 2007
<@toxik> "2007" even
<@bigfoot-> maybe because it's 2008 already? :)
<@toxik> Oh?
<@toxik> I daresay... |
#232500 (273/499) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
IndigoNocturna: When the guy sat next to me on the bus, it reminded me that for most of my life, I thought that all older men had the same smell... and then I realized that the smell is booze. |
#296744 (233/425) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+k0tash> I once had a hard drive clunk-clicking
<+k0tash> Strange noises, wierd sounds and tick-ticking
<+k0tash> I thought I would wait
<+k0tash> And procrastinate...
<+k0tash> but now all my data is missing :( |
#296825 (214/390) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Oddlot: I guess I might have to re-install windows.
FuzzyPlushroom: Whose is it?
Oddlot: Joannas.
Oddlot: My cousins friends friend.
FuzzyPlushroom: she's paying you, then? :P
Oddlot: If she is, in weed.
Oddlot: Either that, or a bj, whichever works.
FuzzyPlushroom: Congratulations. You're officially a goddamn stoner.
Oddlot: Yeah.
Oddlot: I figured that much out. |
#297065 (72/124) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Josh: it's amazing that people don't simply think "apostrophe's replace missing letters in a contraction" and use them correctly
Mike: ...please tell me that was intentional and sarcastic
Mike: because otherwise it's going in quotes.txt. and nothing ever gets removed from quotes.txt |
#299613 (273/501) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Stormscape> Yo dawg we heard you like Macs so we only put one pedal in your car |
#302018 (375/693) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@ rotor> a friend of mine had a parrot and it loved being pushed around on it's back
<@ rotor> it would make "vrrrm vrrmm" type truck noises when you did it
<@ rotor> it was pretty cool |
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