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#11598 (218/398) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<kero> if you jizzed and there wasn't any gravity, u think there'd be a kickback?
<kero> if i was on mars, i'd def hide behind a crater and jerk off
<kero> just to say i did
<fzt> that'd kind suck to be lost in space cause you were viciously beating off
on the moon.
#88844 (263/483) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Slowking_Man> Ugh, I'm dealing with a site that apparently uses javascript to load flash to load WMV files
<Slowking_Man> It's like something out of Richard Stallman's nightmares
Comment: #defocus@irc.freenode.net
#120835 (223/407) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<smxsy> 'i have forwarded this to the management team' = 'i have already deleted your email whilst wiping the tears of sadistic laughter from my eyes. thank you for contacting comcast customer support'
#170338 (182/330) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
* xxalucard is AFK, zzz —I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n—
<Bisqwit> xxalucard: Please remove your public away messages.
* xxalucard is AFK, zzz. Gone now for:«5mins» (Pager is On, /ctcp xxalucard Page <message>) —I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n—
* xxalucard was kicked by Bisqwit (Please remove your public away messages AND your public triggers.)
* xxalucard (i=xxalucar@ool-45750917.dyn.optonline.net) has joined #nesvideos
* xxalucard (i=xxalucar@ool-45750917.dyn.optonline.net) has left #nesvideos (requested by Bisqwit: "Please remove your public away messages AND your public triggers AND the autorejoin.")
#295504 (170/308) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Tommy> Colds are the devil!
<gian> Pseudoephedrine it up!
<gian> It's like not having a cold at all.
<Android> ...you should write slogans Gian
<gian> And if you're hard-up, you can refine it into meth.
<Android> ..nevermind
#301998 (115/205) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Sohcahtoa> Why are you so obsessed with the size of my penis?
<Sohcahtoa> Do you really want to know how big it is?  Fine I'll tell you.
* Quits: Sohcahtoa (Excess Flood)
#303253 (45/75) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Artifice> I'm a little confused as to how E=MC^2 though. If they cannot be converted, how can they be equivalent
<@jey> energy and matter can interconvert
<Artifice> That's what I thought
<ttvd> prove it
<Artifice> I'll book the LHC. The 12th work for you?
#304727 (34/56) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<nickals> there was a phase in the 70's in florida when AC was getting really popular and energy costs were rising that they were building all the buildings here without any windows at all
<nickals> lol
<nickals> thank god i dont live in one of those houses
<nickals> they are always so dark n cave like
<nexu> dude
<nexu> i thought u hated windows
#307328 (56/102) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Xynth> Seriously, who starts their name with an X? How do you even pronounce that?
#309009 (40/66) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
* Celti ambles off to locate comestibles.
<Godwinson> We've secretly replaced Celti's comestibles with combustibles, let's see if he notices!
<Godwinson> Does that mean that humans are powered by an internal comestion engine?
<Celti> Unlike an internal combustion engine, an internal comestion engine works better when you dump sugar into the gas tank.
#311302 (52/86) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<dn5> I have int start = 1476620495; and int end = 1476620495 (unix timestamp), but if I have int res; and then res = end - start, res returns 0 when printf with %d
<dn5> why?
<izalove> because it's the same number?
<fstd> duh
<dn5> okay thats not supposed to happen haha
<fstd> ,reset
<candide> Days since our last accident: 0
Comment: ##c at freenode
#33580 (224/410) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<PittGirlie> yanno almost all the guys in irc are pretty damn cute ... whats up with that?
<+fleet> Becasue we're also sociopaths
<+fleet> And we all have wierd mental problems
<+fleet> And we all smell
<+fleet> and this is the only way living girls talk to us
#34388 (265/487) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Steveo> EVIL STIRS
<Yemminie> EVIL KNEADS
<Yemminie> EVIL PUTS THE BREAD IN THE OVEN
#34997 (261/479) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<avorax> Homeland Security™, 9/11™, and September 11™ are all registered trademarks of the Republican National Committee.  All rights reserved.
#35020 (265/487) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<TGR> Dipstick: face it, EVERY FUCKING MALE in here would fuck anything if offered it the proper way.
<Zanshin> TGR: I would not fuck green eggs and ham
Comment: efnet #quake
#35546 (290/534) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<mog> its kind of amusing how much of an idiot my sister is
<mog> so my mom gave my sister and I $30 to get food and what not for 5 days
<mog> so on the first night I suggest to my sister "Why don't we go to the grocery store and pick up stuff like cans of soup so we can eat those all week"
<mog> "NO I WANT MCDONALDS LETS GO TO MCDONALDS"
<mog> so now because she rather get fast food than use common fucking sense, at day 3 we're down to $3
<mog> and now she's bitching at me because of it
<Allahkat> Sell her for food money.
<mog> I was considering it
<Allahkat> Or just kill her and throw some sister on the barbie.
<mog> ew
<Allahkat> Sis-ke-babs
#37400 (146/262) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<rpop> I hate @ sign before ops
<rpop> I usually take it off.. waste of space
<rpop> recently I had to put it back on though
<rpop> I kept insulting retards on efnet without realizing they had ops
#41289 (168/304) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Nark> someone mentions nachos and the whole channel jumps from idling bastards to fools talking about nachos
#44852 (143/257) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Segosa>  I bet you can't type 'zorro' with only your left hand, and ALT held in.
<smethead> are you willing to bet
<@Segosa> yes.
<smethead> I'll try mkay
<@Segosa> ok.
* Parts: smethead (~smethead@4279929F.7BF7D4DD.E7626F04.IP)
#50223 (241/445) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<jvarner> at one time I had a login sequence that required two passwords.
<nougatmachine> ^the geek version of "I once caught a fish and it was THIS BIG"
#50250 (234/432) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Myke> Two radio antennae on a roof decided to get married
<@Myke> the ceremony wasn't much
<@Myke> but the reception was excellent.
#51107 (182/330) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<+Tim> WTF i have a spam email that says "porno golf"
<+Tim> oh shit
<+Tim> thats promo
<+Tim> nevermind
<+Tim> >_>
#53511 (193/351) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<LagIsNewYear> spencers is where i shop for my gfs gifts
<LagIsNewYear> no where else in teh mall had a place for dildos but spencers did, so i wanted to check if they had any right and i look it up online and call em up
<LagIsNewYear> and i ask if they have any dildos or whatever and there is a woman who goes...uhhh no we do NOT carry those..
<LagIsNewYear> so i angerily went into the mall and checked myself and spencers ended up having it
<LagIsNewYear> and hten i realised i called a differnt spencers...one for kids clothing
#54993 (252/462) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< DMM> that reminds me of my favourite sorting algorithm
< DMM> rearrange the objects randomly using a quantum random number generator, then test to see if they are sorted. If not, destroy the universe.
< DMM> in linear time you will produce an ensemble of universes in which the objects are sorted
< zem> ooh
< zem> truly a universal sorting algorithm
#12317 (194/353) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<gorilla> ANY GIRLS HERE
<Lan> yeah, wanna cyber?
<gorilla> YES
<gorilla> HOW
<Lan> sorta like this
* gorilla (gorilla@xxx.ipt.aol.com) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
<Lan> a little to the left
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