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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..157158159160161162163..599Next> |
#42636 (176/316) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@FunkyFender> Why couldn't there be a character set that included all the symbols of all the different languages
<@Zero> What would you call it, though?
<@Zero> "Unicode" sounds catchy, for some reason.Comment: 404 DC Hub
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#42867 (177/317) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<corky> oh fuck
<corky> I was copying some stuff for my boss the other day
<corky> and I just found the disc I copied in the drive
<corky> I'm trying to remember exactly what the disc was I gave him
<corky> I have a horrible feeling it was teh pr0n _(
<corky> fuck
<corky> fuck, I need to phone him, hes not the sort of person to find it amusing |
#45516 (120/212) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<gelfie> stupid cow at work threatened to report me for animal cruelty.
<gelfie> she's chatting in the cubicle next to mine with someone about Atkins. I said I put my cat on Atkins.
<gelfie> she goes on with this spiel about how it'll damage his liver, leech calcium from his bones, ruin his heard yaddah yaddah
<gelfie> stupid bitch. HE'S A CAT. HE JUST EATS MEAT. THATS WHAT CATS DO.
<gelfie> wish I could be there to hear the ASPCA rep on the other end when she calls |
#45533 (165/295) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@D1-> so I got to walmart to get some fish oil supplements
<@D1-> and I see this dude who looks 10 times nerdier than me picking up a box of condoms right next to me
<@D1-> and man did that not feel right. ;[Comment: #geekissues
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#53419 (197/355) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<buzzcocks> hey guys im gonna go watch some tv and consult w/ my good friend about her boy problems
<buzzcocks> wow that made me sound gay
<sickhippie|wtf> buzzcocks, is there something you need to tell us?
<buzzcocks> hey
<sickhippie|wtf> i mean, you can trust us
<buzzcocks> i only rubbed his crotch because it was a dare
* sickhippie|wtf changes topic to '<buzzcocks> i only rubbed his crotch because it was a dare' |
#57701 (231/419) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< withnail> i bet professional wrestlers talk all in caps |
#57808 (167/299) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<flatface> I had a fucking HORRIBLE monitor for the longest time
<flatface> 14", tube was scratched, picture was fuzzy and fading, the plug was so loose I had to adjust it for 5 minutes every day, one side was partially discoloured, the "frame" was cracked, it was analog, it made a buzzing noise...
<flatface> was there anything else wrong with it, dex? I can't remember
<@robodex> no flat I think you covered it
<@robodex> but let's not forget pornmonitor
<@robodex> the one with boobies burnin
<flatface> That was a monitor I got used
<flatface> and returned in a day
<@robodex> yeah.
<@robodex> you bought a used monitor and it had porn burn in
<flatface> yeah
<flatface> that's after the death of my 14"
<@robodex> I woulda kept it tbh
<flatface> ha
<@robodex> it'd save me a lot of bandwidth :P |
#62436 (226/408) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Omi> When I have kids
<Omi> And they say the boogie man is gonna get them
<Omi> I'll tell them not to worry, that me and the boogie man have a deal.
<Omi> He wont eat my kids as long as he gets his milk and cookies
<Omi> Then they'll think Santa is the boogie man. |
#66705 (176/316) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sean`Macmillan> In a consulting firm I worked for, they abbreviated "analysis" as "anal."
<Sean`Macmillan> So after a school survey was done, one of the items on the agenda was "School visits and follow-up anal." |
#12173 (197/354) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<johnsmith> Ill sit at bars and write perl on my napkin until girls are so thick around me I cant move my body |
#13489 (183/329) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Chariset> Aie...got to run. Fencing.
<Chariset> Bye, all
*** Chariset has quit IRC (Quit: Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.) |
#14575 (175/314) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<prick> "ALRIGHT LIVEJOURNAL FRIENDS IM KILLING MYSELF NOW! PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS TELLING ME NOT TO! SEE YOU TOMORROW FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF "IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF [CURRENT MUSIC: NIN]" |
#15886 (170/305) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
HalfShadow> Oh yeah. Ever see something so bad you wanted to go into fetal position?
seventhcrow> spice world |
#16749 (228/412) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Phillip`> i just had starbucks coffee
<K_Russell> join #someonewhocares :(
<Phillip`> no one is there :( |
#19445 (212/383) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<*AGBot> grins.
<Eye_Candy> SEE?
<*AGBot> I'm not a bot.
<Eye_Candy> DID ANYONE ELSE SEE THAT!?!
<Vic> See what?
<Zero> See what?
<Eye_Candy> god dammit.
<*AGBot> Kill, Ross... Kill them all.
* Eye_Candy rocks gently, whispering 'there IS a bot, there IS a bot' |
#25170 (195/357) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<NewSonCometh> my sister found 50 bucks today
<NewSonCometh> then the person who dropped it asked her if she found it
<NewSonCometh> with the clenched 50 sticking out of her hand, she said "Nope, I don't have any cash at all"
<NewSonCometh> then the lady just walked away
<NewSonCometh> I wish more people with an abundance of 50's were that stupid |
#25212 (215/391) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<FiZi> HEY I FOUND A COOKIE CRUMB ON MY SHIRT
* FiZi eats it
<FiZi> Aw crap
<FiZi> It wasn't a cookie crumb |
#28522 (179/321) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
*** Ettin|Succubi is now known as Moses
<Moses> /part #oceans |
#29045 (215/389) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<StillAway> omg i got spam saying 'someone at work likes you'. they really dont target this shit well do they, I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB |
#30638 (237/429) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
***EvilSpork declares you all to be extremely sophisticated Eliza programs
aykroyd: how does extremely sophisticated Eliza programs make you feel? |
#32219 (253/459) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<HentaiTentacleDemon> I'm not a big fan of hentai |
#12322 (204/369) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Josh> hey Lan
<Josh> i just would like to say
<Josh> that if world war iii comes tomorrow
<Josh> i loved you most of all
<@Lan> i would like to say
<@Lan> if ww iii comes tomorrow
<@Lan> i loved orange soda more than any of you |
#12407 (221/400) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ixnorp[Regenerating]> I think I've found an excellent unit of size measurement. It's the 'I could kill you and hide your body in it' unit. People usually become very quiet after you say, "yea, I could kill you and 3 other people and hide the bodies in this" |
#13526 (211/383) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Huz cries.
*** Huz has quit IRC (Excess Flood) |
#14214 (250/456) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ryan> my mom was killed by mobile phones
<mal> she has only herself to blame
<Ryan> no really, she was using it in a storm
<mal> and?
<Ryan> lightening
<mal> then what?
<Ryan> mobile phone truck ran her over |
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