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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..155156157158159160161..599Next> |
#63019 (177/319) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TheMaze> *sigh* my TV just restarted to finish installing windows updates
<TheMaze> I'm not sure if this is progress or notComment: Windows Media Center
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#77069 (277/503) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Parable> Just because I fucked a girl twice doesn't mean I'm hetero! ;_;
<Jetta> Parable, thats twice more than a few in here |
#78595 (283/513) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DinkyDogg_> worst geeky erotic fiction EVAR
<DinkyDogg_> vista as a metaphor for a beatiful woman
<proudfoot> vista is perhaps a better metaphor for a woman who tries to be beautiful, but doesnt succeed, and has many, many, issues
<proudfoot> and happens to be very, very, insecure
<proudfoot> she also has the annoying habit of asking you if its ok to do anything |
#122527 (226/408) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Mistah_Kurtz: you think lawyers have like a numerical batting average
Mistah_Kurtz: for cases won vs lost
Mistah_Kurtz: so that other lawyers know about them
Mistah_Kurtz: they could make lawyer trading cards
Mistah_Kurtz: and it'd be worth a shitload of money if you got like a johnnie cochran law school card |
#130058 (229/411) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@flamingspinach> lol I haven't printed out my schedule yet since my printer is out of ink
<@flamingspinach> but luckily I only have four classes today
<@flamingspinach> and by some amazing coincidence
<@flamingspinach> the first one's in tutorial room 16
<@flamingspinach> the second one is in lecture theater 9
<@flamingspinach> the third one is in tutorial room 25
<@flamingspinach> and the fourth one is in lecture theater 1
<@flamingspinach> how neat is that
<@flamingspinach> oddly 4351 is also the four-digit extension of the zipcode of my house lmao so this is easy to remember :OOOOOOOOOO
<aperson> flamingspinach I think your university is trying to tell you that you are a squareComment: #machogang on popn.cjb.net:4400
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#200370 (210/378) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Cynic: it looks like a flashlight but on the inside instead of batteries and a lightbulb, there's a synthetic vagina!
Elven: ...
Dexi: they also have anus and mouth
Dexi: not just va-
Dexi: i mean... i have no idea what types of orifices they offer! |
#279371 (126/222) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<samsim> The human penis may have 1,687.5 TerraBytes/sec bandwidth but you get hell of packet loss |
#16750 (147/261) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ExDthGONE> What I really want to see is stuff like "Heart Surgery For Dummies" and "What's With All Those Silly Dials Anyway?: A Cliff Notes Piloting Crash Course" |
#28519 (173/309) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sinclair-> geez
<Sinclair-> my writing is bad..
<Sinclair-> but when i write fast evem i cant read my notes
<Sinclair-> there's an important word, and it vaguely looks like capslufy
<@Iceman> and that means... ?
<Sinclair-> i have no fucking clue |
#29450 (187/337) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ncik> i just found £10 in my pocket
<ncik> that's handy
<LERCH> i love it when that happens
<LERCH> especialy when its not my trousers i am wearing
<Chris[ni]> i found somthing in my trousers
<Chris[ni]> considerably larger than £10
* LERCH ignors chris's last comment
<Chris[ni]> it was my wallet |
#29524 (227/409) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<wang^> man white girls go for $150 grand a head
<wang^> in saudi arabia
* wang^ thinks
<psykoz> man i need to sell my gf then
<wang^> no kidding!
<wang^> 150 grand!
<wang^> you spin me right round
<psykoz> man with 150g's i can buy me a cheapie ferrari
<amoeba> with $150K i can buy me plenty cheap hookers and export them to saudi arabia |
#29541 (182/326) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Xith: I didn't know shit could be digitaly transfered
UPC747|Rob: yeah
BouncyFish: It's called the internet. |
#30566 (231/417) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mediator> hmm....that troy movie looks awsome....I'll be able to jackoff to orlando bloom without having to watch lotr
<@Phucker> assumes 'orlando' is female.
<Mediator> your assumtion is wrong
<@Phucker> Jesus.
<Mediator> orlando bloom is legolas in lotr
<@Phucker> Jesus x2. |
#30892 (224/404) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Flyp> !8 ChanServ give me butt sechs?
<@ChanServ> Flyp: No.
<@Flyp> !8 ChanServ pleeeeeeease?
<@ChanServ> Flyp: Not on your life.
<@Flyp> !8 Another time maybe?
<@ChanServ> Flyp: Absolutely not.
<@Flyp> !8 Seeing someone else, eh?
<@ChanServ> Flyp: Yes. |
#31745 (245/443) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<warewolf> "It sucks when you sneeze with a dildo in, and inadvertantly become a one-round-gun." |
#32120 (213/383) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<GuyClimber> BRB? Where are you going?
<NawtyNice> I gotta go grab some nuts
<NawtyNice> Err, peanuts. |
#32449 (185/331) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<oz> jesus christ... the guy who built my computer from scratch is a fugitive and is wanted in ohio...
<oz> and he gets sent to the county jail the day before my 9600xt craps out on me :| |
#32505 (220/396) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(@Deranged): Damn.. I just found out that I have so many voices in my head, that I have to go to group therapy... By myself. |
#417 (210/378) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<VicViper> heh darkaeon writes his IP address in bathroom stalls
<VicViper> for a good time - xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx |
#1552 (213/383) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ckx> when i worked at the sub shop
<ckx> whenever a fat person would get a sub and a regular pepsi
<ckx> i'd be like "umm wouldn't you rather have a diet pepsi?"
<ckx> and they'd get all offended
<skmt> haha
<ckx> but they'd still get the diet pepsi instead |
#2199 (213/384) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<|Chris> i was stuck behind some car today and the license plate read "dick 404." my first thought was "oh shit...this guy must be impotent as all hell if his dick is missing." |
#2499 (213/384) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fly_kEaT> ok so what time now in russia?
<amsea_> 17:06
<Fly_kEaT> am or pm? |
#2617 (231/415) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Plot> I was either going to die now
<Plot> or get 80% third degree burns atleast
<Plot> someone had the gas nob opened
<Plot> I went into kitchen
<Plot> switched a bulb
<Plot> and wham
<Plot> kitchen was filled with one big ass fire ball
<theForger> woah dude
<C--> damn
<Jyrsija> jesus
<ThaDragon> If you just blow up your kitchen, and then proceed to get on IRC and tell people about it, you might be a junkie. |
#4926 (182/326) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<matto> the keg is tapped
<matto> awaiting the guests
<`jon> and you're online |
#5604 (194/348) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<neo[soul]> people cant take jokes anymore
<neo[soul]> this lady at work brought her dog in
<neo[soul]> and i stared at it and said "yummy"
<neo[soul]> and she got scared and walked off
<neo[soul]> fucking idiot |
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