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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..149150151152153154155..599Next> |
#7627 (198/352) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
* ToRMeNTeD comes on brazil
<Ratty`> ergh
<Ratty`> it's all sticky
<ToRMeNTeD> you told me to |
#8689 (161/283) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MMouse> the dates I started and left positions "dont give an accurate impression of how long you worked at that position"
<drewb> god, it almost sounds like you were deliberately vague about dates to hide the fact you didnt last long in a job..
<Tippytoes> what format did you put the dates in, max?
<SataniKKa> roman numerals
<Sep> binary
<SataniKKa> Monday is not a date. |
#10217 (215/383) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<NK|Snipe>_____/\_____\o/_____
<NK|Snipe>^Shark Attack :) |
#11173 (180/318) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tek231> you guys hear about that lady who layed down on some subway tracks, then the train hit her
<tek231> she sued and won 10 million
<Mysteri0> tek231: The train hit her and she's not a blood sprinkler?
<Cap0ne_> did she lose any body parts?
<pac> Damn.
<tek231> I'm not sure, just caught the end of the story
<tek231> on tv, let me see if I can find it
<Knighted> tek231: You hear about that guy who tried to convey news on irc without a url? |
#11526 (234/418) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<futard> IS YOUR NAME
<futard> NICK BECKER?
<strangury> no.
<futard> ok good
<futard> beacuse then you'd be me
<futard> and that'd be awkward |
#1486 (230/412) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<aorie> shit slashdot STILL down
<MrP-> yeah, im crying now
<MrP-> whats wrong with it?
<aorie> this sucks
<aorie> this totally fucked up my day heh
<MrP-> me too
<MrP-> some girl asked me if i wanted to have sex with her all day, but i said "after i read slashdot"
<MrP-> GOD DAMNIT! |
#1535 (221/395) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<JDigital> Speaking of which, did you know that Slashdot.org just changed its name to Gullible?
<HoJu> Really? |
#2065 (229/409) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<matts> hal check your privates
<matts> err
<matts> messages |
#2935 (183/325) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Object> booya my roommate, got in a fight last week.. this week, booya was starting a new job .. he gets in and finds out his new boss is the guy he fought last week, we thought it was pretty funny |
#4287 (202/360) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<memo> > Would you like to go fuck yourself? (Y/N)
<Foxie> Y
<Foxie> Y
<Foxie> ITS NOT WORKIGN |
#6909 (202/360) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<AaronSw> To prevent this day from getting worse, I'll just read ERROR as GOOD THING |
#7235 (181/321) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<OneEyedJack> Someone tell me why everyone lists one of their hobbies as either "hanging out" or "partying"?
<Qtechie> I like to hang out while I party... but chicks are always grossed out by it, and guys tend to beat me up for it |
#8483 (213/381) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tm> hmm, our call centre manager just asked how do i turn off capslock
<Zaph0d> tm: Ctrl-Alt-DEl
<tm> she's crying on her keyboard now |
#9031 (192/344) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DJTodd> My sister in law once asked me if it counted as sex if she fucked some guy but didn't kiss him.
<DJTodd> She's a real brain. |
#9670 (178/315) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<[ryan]> nah when i first saw porn of any kind i was like "man, that must get boring after a while"
<[ryan]> then i went back to programming heh
<shea_> when i first saw programming
<shea_> i was like
<shea_> "man, that must get boring after a while"\
<shea_> then i went back to porn |
#10135 (181/321) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Starchild> !define PCMCIA
<CCU-Bot> DEFINING... ONE MOMENT, PLEASE
<CCU-Bot> 2 entries found for PCMCIA.
<CCU-Bot> Entry 1/2:
<CCU-Bot> PCMCIA
<CCU-Bot> <body, standard> Personal Computer Memory Card International
<CCU-Bot> Association. (Or People Can't Memorise Computer Industry
<CCU-Bot> Acronyms).
<CCU-Bot> DONE - PCMCIA (Entry 1/2)
<Starchild> hey, fuck you |
#122198 (444/814) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<bustatunez> it's like that couple from the folk tale
<bustatunez> where the woman buys her husband like a penisring, and the husband makes a necklace for her by cutting off his penis
<bustatunez> or something, I forget
<bustatunez> the point was that christmas fucks you up |
#131422 (391/711) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<lolage> Holy shit. Most epic idea ever.
<lolage> In the history of mankind.
<lolage> A rocket-coffin.
<lolage> You get put in standing upward. Door gets closed and you get launched into the sky
<lolage> with a parachute attached to your body
<lolage> the door blows in mid air
<lolage> parachute autodeploys
<lolage> you float, dead; down into someones garden
<oohal> lolage, you've got issues
<lolage> Oh man. I'd better get started on the blue prints. |
#152895 (238/430) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<hekman> i took my son to the zoo on saturday and i had the worst gas...we were looking at the rhinos and he says, "dad, the rhinos are stinky, let's go"
<hekman> and then later he was like, "dad, the zoo is very stinky" |
#208710 (327/593) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mindjob> im not talking about going to dinner with her and sharing a lovely conversation over tea
<mindjob> i'm talking about banging the living crap out of her
<mindjob> and making her asshole the size of a soup can
<mindjob> and then sending her away
<mindjob> far far away
<zaim> what kind of soup
<mindjob> chicken noodle
<mindjob> of course
<zaim> wise choice |
#247571 (397/721) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jeanette> FUCK THE LETTER O.
<Jeanette> I HATE IT FOREVER.
<Jeanette> ..
<Jeanette> FAREVER |
#294654 (201/357) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<U235> it always bothers me when i'm filling my bottle of water and the pressure drops because someone flushed a toilet
<U235> in the back of my mind, I just can't stop thinking that that water I was about to drink instead washed someone's poop away. |
#300871 (255/457) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Error1355>: Cows can feel pain, emotions, depression, etc just the same as us, so why do we have the right not to be hurt and incarcerated and they don't? What makes us so special? If it is our ability to *think* then babies and mentally handicapped adults should have no rights either. Why the discrepancy?
<or_something>: well im going to start eating retarded babies to make that person feel better |
#307852 (100/170) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<B0g4r7> A Catholic priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar.
<B0g4r7> He orders a beer.
<d4|werk> ba dum tsssssh
<mark251> so how was the beer |
#307947 (74/126) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> So I had this brilliant Idea to patch portage to support Regex....
<Pryoidain> Like..massive regex standard strings
<LtBrenton> @_@
<Pryoidain> and then just for curiosity I ran emerge --search --desc ***
<Pryoidain> This system sounds like a turbine and I've lost a shell >.> |
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