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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..144145146147148149150..599Next> |
#30744 (196/346) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<J3anyus> wanna play a round or two?
<Haigha> I'll play when I get home
<Haigha> about 15 mins
<J3anyus> haigha is going to drive home in his delorean
<Haigha> yeah
<Haigha> I'll be home 2 hours ago |
#31803 (278/498) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<tangent3> george bush wants to send missions to moons and the mars
<tangent3> i think the search for weapons of mass destruction is getting desperate |
#16144 (239/424) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<GimpMaster> why the hell i'm i on ignore :o
<Vxie> and i wont till he apoligizes for his actions...
<SovanJedi> How can he apologise if you can't even hear him? ;)
<GimpMaster> hah
<Vxie> i dunno
<GimpMaster> ask him what i did :o
<Vxie> thats what im trying to figure out...
<SovanJedi> Gimp is asking 'what did I do?'
<Vxie> i asked him to stop cussing infront of my lil sis and he didnt stop
<GimpMaster> is that it? fuck the sand monkey. i don't care
<SovanJedi> Gimp says 'I'm very sorry for my actions, and he won't do it again.'
<Vxie> ok
<GimpMaster> LOL |
#16431 (221/393) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Danelope> "Nine people in total have had gene therapy at the Necker Hospital, and seven of them are doing well."
<Danelope> The other two transformed into hideous demon-beasts and began slaying the hospital staff.
<Danelope> And eating their brains. |
#18681 (211/374) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<xxFrogxx> Today when I was at the gym, I caught this dood checking out my weiner.
<Spazmatic> Did you like it?
<xxFrogxx> It was like, I felt violated and flattered at the same time.
<OriginalWheat> Yeap, youre gay |
#20141 (217/385) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<The_Enigmatic_Lemur> Hmm whats a nice sophisticated term to put on a resumé for fast food cook.
<Drain> ...
<ZS|GTA3> ...
<Geno|Morrowind> Hamburger Helper
<ZS|GTA3> Ahahah.
<Drain> ahaha |
#21414 (187/329) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Shez> i shall create my own planet named "the planet of dropdead losers named Shez"
<|iCARUS|> Shez: cool!! can i have the planet next to that?
<Scathing> Icarus: the "I'm with Stupid ->" planet? |
#21419 (220/391) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(smasho) i saw matrix 2 today
(Cip) bout time smasho
(smasho) "How did they copy smith" somsone said
(smasho) i said ctrl c |
#27226 (248/442) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Dilbert> i've got an idea that would help artists from having their music pirated
<Dilbert> instead of naming all their
<Dilbert> songs
<Dilbert> just give them a number
<Dilbert> like 1, 2, 3 so on
<Dilbert> and if everyone does that
<Dilbert> nobody online will be able to find the songs they are looking for
<Dilbert> or something
<Dilbert> i dont know
<Dilbert> forget i said anything |
#27278 (213/381) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<|Moopy|> My ass will heal...Its like wolverine
<Deltron> its hairy and smells?
<|Moopy|>Yups and heals fast
<Deltron> you'd be popular in jail then |
#27872 (248/442) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<uTi|Veridian> my HLTV tops out at about 30 people - then lags like your mom
<cyde> so tell me... if i used my mom in conjunction with your server... could we top 60?
<uTi|Veridian> can your mom handle 30 teenage boys?
<cyde> the question is....can 30 teenage boys....handle my mom? |
#29036 (174/306) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Daisuke> yea, sucking cocks is fun
<Daisuke> that came out wrong |
#29456 (195/345) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< krept_> tomorrow is going to be cool
< krept_> i'm going to have real friends
< krept_> SCREW THIS INTERNET BULLSHIT
<@meth> going to get a few new action figures?
< krept_> nah, just unpacking them finally |
#31559 (223/395) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Dekkon> i dated a mormon once
<tito> was she wild in bed? i've heard that
<Dekkon> i think i fucked the mormon outta her |
#32225 (186/328) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<splice> courier new is the supreme essay expander font
<splice> you can write one sentence and courier new it into a three page thesis |
#32662 (191/337) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ruumis> playing metroid on the toilet. man, I knew there was a reason I lived in America. |
#121898 (346/622) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+twk3V`Hucky[hbfs]> I have a ritual called 'terminator'. I crouch in the shower in the "naked terminator" pose. With eyes closed I crouch for a minute and visualize either Arnie or the guy from the 2nd movie. I then start to hum the T2 theme. Slowly I rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me get through my day. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It sorta ruins the fantasy. |
#131223 (166/292) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<pvck> on most websites, "happy serfing!" would be an amusing typo
<pvck> but when the site is obviously russian, it takes on a whole new meaning |
#135732 (359/647) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<flame> i once tasted this girl who soooo salt&sour
<flame> she was delicious
<flame> very pleasant
<flame> wonder what makes that
<lee> semen |
#297796 (198/350) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Xerol|Work> customer wants to buy an "external processor"
<Xerol|Work> i want to buy a "gun"
<Xerol|Work> and "shoot myself"
<Warchamp7> You don't carry external processors?
<Xerol|Work> not ones that go in the "USA Port" |
#300634 (115/199) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<dmi> Wanted: HOWTO migrate Lasagne from Bowl to Plate using Knife and Fork.
<eoan> dmi: Spatula lasagneMover = new Spatula("knife", "fork");
<dmi> eoan: Good idea, but it throws a SurfaceAreaRangeException ("Available surface area too small")
<dmi> I can force it through, but it then throws all sorts of warnings about violation of structural integrity
<dmi> :( |
#302071 (37/59) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<rigeld2> Just got a workorder with a list of domains who supposedly blacklist us. Our domain is on that list. I wonder when we started blacklisting ourselves.
* rigeld2 stabs stupid people
<inode0> I would do it if I had the power
<inode0> I could improve the lives of 60,000 people just like that |
#310258 (38/60) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< cyberdog> so there are a few holes in watchdogs
< cyberdog> you can 'prevent crimes' by pre-empting them using some bullshit minority report hacking anonymous #wearelegion thing, but when you prevent it, it counts as a victory condition no matter what happens
< cyberdog> so the half hour police chase beforehand, the hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of damage caused, the fact that i arrived on the scene by crashing through the outside area of a restaurant and killed 75% of its customers, and then the fact that i blew both the perp AND the victim away by accident doesn't matter
< cyberdog> perps down, you're a hero
< cyberdog> and then you can stealth in cars to avoid detection, yet it doesn't seem to matter whether the car has doors or not
< cyberdog> hes just sort of slumped in the seat in plain fucking view
< cyberdog> its still entertaining though
< cyberdog> it's a bit like hackers in that it's silly but still enjoyable
< nukes> ahem
< nukes> hackers was not silly
< cyberdog> no that's true. every time i send an email 1s and 0s fly around the room and i surf down a 90s tidal wave wearing an augmented reality headset :P
< nukes> that's not augmented reality, that's lsd |
#284 (303/543) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ikkenai> what does sex in a boat and american beer have in common
<ikkenai> they're both fucking close to water |
#361 (303/543) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Erik_N> Everyone has a dark secrets... some ppl are killers, some ppl are homo.. I use mac |
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