|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..142143144145146147148..599Next> |
#9438 (233/411) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<phiber> advice: dont call a girl ugly when you have your manhood in her mouth ;/ |
#10372 (207/364) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5 submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore fetish gayporn.
<Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im gay... it owns |
#11036 (203/357) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Swamp|haircut> omg @ big breasted hairdressers
*** Swamp|haircut is now known as Swamp
<Swamp> whenever she leaned over it looked like i was wearing a mickey mouse hat |
#11181 (206/362) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<bean2edu>Try seeding the RNG with the current system time, that should help somewhat
<kram>You do know that the numbers generated are still pseudo-random, and not true RNs. In fact there is no way to generate true random numbers.
<bean2edu>Obviously you've never had your wife balance the checkbook. |
#327 (320/573) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<persia> my favorite country song is "i fucked my horse on a sunday morning"
<migg> my fave country song is "Its midnight in montana, and i cant get my dick out of this cow"
*** You were kicked by sandk1ng (i like the song "i kicked my friend for makin fun of music i listen to") |
#1454 (213/377) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Thes2K> OK, PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS OUT OF CONTEXT, BUT DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN FIND PICTURE OF NAKED BLACK MALES? |
#1497 (173/304) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<MrP-> i have pillows shipped UPS so when i get them they are already pre pounded and fluffy |
#1546 (190/334) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(timmo) the average testicle is the size of a walnut.
[maff] the average walnut tastes better than the average testicle |
#2142 (196/345) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<mEsHmAn> how do i set myself as away?
<mEsHmAn> in mIRC
*** theForger sets mode: +b *!*@host62-7-101-176.btinternet.com
*** mEsHmAn was kicked by theForger (mEsHmAn is away) |
#2258 (227/404) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<david\ks> there's this girl in my evolution inf. diseases class.. she has enormous tits.. they are monster tits.. seriously.. well she wore this shirt that said, across her chest: "Hey! I'm up here! (Arrow pointing up)"
<david\ks> I thought that was pretty funny.
<david\ks> i told her i had the same problem and she laughed .. but that's all i could say to her because her boobs intimidated me |
#3019 (185/325) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<yossarian> theres a hole in my bucket
<tomg> yossarian: did microsoft make it?
<yossarian> yes, MSBucket
<tomg> have they made a patch for it yet?
<tomg> no, they probably want you to upgrade to Bucket.NET
<yossarian> with what shall i fix it dear microsoft, dear microsoft?
<tomg> well the CBR (common bucket runtime) will have embedded security to prevent leaks |
#3918 (185/325) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<zetullus> This is just not happening. Im sure I was smarter than this when I went to bed |
#4224 (224/396) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<quisling> bwahaha, I was looking through some personals and this chick's username is "responsible" but she's 20 with a child... |
#6049 (186/327) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
red sets mode: +b *!*@*.aol.com
*** creepen12 was kicked by biohzrd (banned: (your 500 free hours will not be spent here./6.05.02)) |
#6928 (219/387) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<piman> DAMMIT NETSCAPE!
<piman> DO NOT FREEZE WHEN MY MOTHER WALKS IN AND I AM LOOKING AT PORN! |
#8441 (164/287) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Doc> ok... kitchens clean, bathrooms clean
<Doc> thats the two easiest to clean rooms of the house done...
<cactoid> is that because you always eat out and you never shower? |
#10894 (179/314) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Starscream> uh
<Starscream> i just accidentally told my credit card company i was smoking crack
<Starscream> shit. |
#11620 (202/356) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Astroboy> Im going to murder the next girl I ever hear make some comment about being over weight.
<Astroboy> Unless the girl is like 500 pounds.
<Trinity> I am so over weight.
<Astroboy> Trinity way to be a absurdly difficult distance away for me to murder you. |
#176033 (144/254) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<tl> I can't believe I just searched google to learn how to make a tuna sandwich |
#295050 (170/298) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<AT_5193> i've got a kitty footwarmer
<@Illwen> Let's not talk about cats please.
<AT_5193> i've got a common-house-pet-that-is-not-a-dog footwarmer |
#296599 (189/333) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Woofcat> I never got why Satan was torturing people
<Woofcat> I always picture hell as some huge Dojo where everyone learns Krav Maga and is really buff from working out.
<Woofcat> I mean you are trying to build an army. |
#299580 (278/498) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> Alright, my QDB script is complete!
<asaph> QDB Script?
<Pryoidain> Yeah, see I got tired of the weird thing they use where 1 positive vote and 1 negative vote cancel out to give 0 votes in the numerator of your quote rating...
<Pryoidain> So I devised a formula. Positive Votes = Numerator + [(Denominator - Numerator)/2]
<Pryoidain> I then made a script that searches for my nick on QDB, gathers the various quote levels, runs the above formula, and then tells me how much people love me!
<cjk> Interesting. I may want a copy.
<Pryoidain> Execute Nao!
*five minutes pass*
<Pryoidain> Hm. It must have failed.
<Pryoidain> Either that or -pi people enjoy my quotes.
<asaph> The latter option seems more plausible.
<Pryoidain> Fuck off. |
#300258 (213/377) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< fahadsadah> Something tells me exec("echo C code goes here | gcc"); isn't a good Java practise. |
#301252 (319/571) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@snow_> i think i could have definitely stolen this chick from her loser boyfriend
<@snow_> but i fucked up
<@snow_> tried to call her fat
<@snow_> so she would come work out w/ me
<@snow_> that backfired hardComment: #geekissues
|
#305454 (162/284) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Elleo> based on current estimates all IPv4 addresses will have been allocated by March
<@Elleo> afterwhich we'll find ourselves living in a dystopian future where motorcycle gangs roam the streets killing people for their IPs so their mobile phones can get on the internet
<@Elleo> someone should make a film out of that
<@Elleo> Mad WiMax |
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
<Prev1..142143144145146147148..599Next> |
|