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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..132133134135136137138..599Next> |
#39543 (124/210) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
ingannilo (8:52:41 PM): it was occuring to me that I'd be fine working like 50 hours/weed at publix if I was high, 'cause I could totaly space out and still do my job
ingannilo (8:52:55 PM): hours/week
ingannilo (8:52:59 PM): freudian slip slidin' right into the unemployment line. |
#40087 (197/339) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
TechKO: I love my algebra book
TechKO: Q1. (12x4x^2)^6=15
TechKO: solve for y |
#40213 (139/235) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Jism> haha megaman_exe, you're pretty stupid
<%Ark> uh.. jism
<%Ark> what about the time your gf was around, you went to run to the bed and bounce on it but you tripped on your cat and went flying through your bedroom window shattering it to peices as you lay on the ground screaming in pain with cuts all over your naked body?
<@Jism> well, fuck, thanks for reminding me and telling 89 people in the process |
#44377 (206/356) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Acid> In the song Silent Night, the lyrics go "...holy infant so tender and mild"
<Acid> Would you not infer that the son of God is a chicken wing?Comment: #offtopic
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#45116 (283/493) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sEcretz> One day a teacher went into her classroom and saw the word, “penis” written in small letters on the chalkboard. She erased it and went on with the day's lesson. The next day, she came in and saw the same word on the chalkbaord, but a little bit bigger. She erased it and went on with her lesson.
Each of the next several days, the teacher would come in to find “penis” on the board, a little larger each time.
<sEcretz> She went in one morning, expecting to dinf it again, but instead the chalkboard read: “The more you rub it, the bigger it gets.” |
#55559 (241/419) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
MrMoog_772: mr pibb is just a lower-quality version of dr pepper
Glowsun: of course it is... dude doesn't have his degree yet |
#57848 (270/470) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Yoshi> 28. [Harvest Moon 64] What is the name of the puppy that the potion shop owner and his grandkids kept?
<Yoshi> Here's a hint, J
<J> wat
<J> wats my hint |
#12283 (227/393) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nor> i found my 1st grey pubic hair the other day :(
<Nor> It was in a BigMac |
#13195 (216/373) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<adam1> my gf supposedly has "issues" with me
<Hiroe> Heh, my ex didn't have just a few issues, she had a fuckin *Subscription* |
#14215 (205/354) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<gaz> i don't think terrorists would be stupid enough to do anything on independence day anyway
<gaz> not after the aliens did it |
#14750 (229/397) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<gee-1> we should market heart monitor devices that're like implanted. so if you die, it'll remotely run a program, to like make your computer log in, get on irc, and msg your friends that you're dead |
#16842 (213/367) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<limeking> Hey jen, ya wanna come over and we can wrap ourseves in plastic, shit ourselvves, and then eat our own shit while listening to MC hammer?
<Jennie254> Ewwwww gross!
<Jennie254> That's fucked up! Why would you even THINK I'd want to listen to MC Hammer?? . |
#21595 (219/379) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Crembo> in UT2k3, killing 6 people is "Monster kill".
<Crembo> in Quake3, it's "Excellent".
<Crembo> in CS, it's "Kicked by console". |
#21733 (228/394) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CommanderStab> <Poppins> lets vote on whether it should be a democracy or not
<CommanderStab> You DID realise how stupid that was before you said it, right? ^_- |
#22892 (215/371) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kammerer06>if 4 out of 5 people suffer from Diarrhea does that mean the 5th person likes it. |
#26218 (220/380) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<IAmQueenLara> Oh yeah, I remember you... You disappeared one night after I sent you my photo |
#27931 (226/392) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<taglin> ok, so te pretty menu came up and is asking you to add drives?
<suds> yeh
<suds> done that
<taglin> k... whats next?
<suds> weee
<suds> hang on a sec...
<suds> need more rum+coke+spritz of lime
<suds> :)
<taglin> heh
<taglin> i think some of the problems with this crazy install could be alcohol related |
#29247 (232/406) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Killrbyte> !googlepop "anal sex";"oral sex"
<migas> - "anal sex" is more popular than "oral sex" (2220000>1360000
<Video`> NO WAY
<Video`> FUCK THAT SHIT
<Killrbyte> Video`: Exactly. |
#29463 (211/365) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<a_passerby> fuck, well, i got an offer to be keyboardist/pianist for a band for "funk music"
<a_passerby> but i dont listen to funk music
<a_passerby> and the guy who asked me is a moron
<a_passerby> "yeah man, i dont use kazaa anymore. you know your computer broadcasts an ip address?"
<a_passerby> thats an EXACT QUOTE
<Everdraed-sleepytime> MY GOD AN IP ADDRESS
<Everdraed-sleepytime> MY HOUSE IS BROADCASTiNG A STREET ADDRESS |
#30104 (277/483) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<steve> i woke up suddenly in the middle of the night, face down on the bed, and felt as though i would burst.. and a flatulent event erupted forth quickly and silently and lasted for many many seconds
<steve> and i felt deflated..i felt the insides touching together again
<steve> and promptly fell asleep
<steve> my body was giving me a gift with that wakefulness
<adam> hahaha
<Mackay> that's a beautiful way of saying "i farted in bed"Comment: #hatelife
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#30773 (226/392) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(@johnny|aw) man, when i'm about 60 years old, i'll think back to the time when i was 20, when i could do EVERYTHING i wanted to...and i spent my time reading bash-quotes...
(@tyree) haha
(@johnny|aw) i think i should kill myself right now :) |
#13655 (281/492) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MrCoulomb> ok, i'm taking out the 3 of spades, and reinsert it into a random point
<MrCoulomb> and i assure you, it is random
<MrCoulomb> I'm now shuffling the cards
<MrCoulomb> and it's a real shuffle too
<MrCoulomb> Now.. I cut the deck.
<MrCoulomb> and there is your card
<MrCoulomb> the 3 of spades
<MrCoulomb> found instantly within a randomly shuffled deck
<Mort-Hog> How did you do that?.. |
#14031 (194/335) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Pepper-> "Dear valued customer, it appears you have attempted to transmit data through your modem. Here at iiNet, it is our policy to stop all outgoing traffic from client's computers, as it encourages rampant misuse of our outragesouly overpriced and underserviced internet accounts. Please refrain from doing this in future, and thank-you for your continued support of our company." |
#14260 (195/337) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<GunnX> I was locked in my bathroom once getting ready for a date
<GunnX> :)
<GunnX> door knob fell off
<GunnX> those were the days
<polyglot> wtf were you doing to the doorknob? |
#14674 (242/421) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Normandy> I told my sis to go to hotmail to set up her own email account, and she went to www.hotmale.com and now she thinks I'm gay ;( |
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