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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..135136137138139140141..599Next> |
#300712 (259/453) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DragonFogel> Fun fact: Right now, there is more public support in the US for legalizing marijuana than there is for the Republican Party. |
#301051 (234/412) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Corey> Why is everyone in It's a Wonderful Life so stupid?
<Corey> Main character: Oh, I lost some money, got angry at my family and got hit by a guy. I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE.
<Corey> Clarence: I can show you how life was if you never existed.
<Corey> Main character: Why does nobody recognize me?!
<Corey> Clarence: Because in this reality, you don't exist.
<Corey> Main character: My wife and mother don't know me!
<Corey> Clarence: You.... don't exist.
<Corey> Main character: Why's the town have a different name?!
<Corey> Clarence: YOU. DON'T. EXIST.
<Corey> Main character: Where did my kids go?!
<Corey> Clarence: Fuck it, jump off the bridge, I don't care. |
#303699 (30/54) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<William> i just find it strange how life is so much about spending money now on the chance of saving money later
<William> we insure everything
<William> i have three kinds of home owner's insurange: one to protect me if i lose my job, one to protect the bank if i lose my job, and one to protect me if someone gets hurt on my property
<William> same thing for cars
<William> also life insurance
<William> health, dental, vision
<William> it's crazy
<William> at some point in order to break even, i'm going to have to start injuring myself on purpose ;-) |
#309129 (70/116) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@LAMMJohnson> I suspect Star Trek Into Darkness will be good but not great.
<@LAMMJohnson> My reasoning for this is thus
<@LAMMJohnson> Perfect score because all of its words have a length that is a power of 2.
<@LAMMJohnson> Minus one point because total letters is not a power of two.
<@LAMMJohnson> Not even including spaces.
<@LAMMJohnson> However, the letters in all of the words plus the number of words is 24.
<@LAMMJohnson> Overall score for the movie: 8.5
<~chown> LAMMJohnson - Vice Executive of the Autism Department
<@LAMMJohnson> The score, correctly, is a power of two marred with an ugly fraction.
<@LAMMJohnson> Although the fraction is 1/2
<@LAMMJohnson> Actually, the overall fraction is 17/20 which I pretty much hate.
<@LAMMJohnson> Which means I will initially think the movie is OK but then later change my mind and hate it.
<~chown> LAMMJohnson - Honourable Chairman of the Autism Empire |
#310412 (53/85) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* xobs is in China now, going back to Singapore tomorrow.
<@xobs> i forgot my keyboard in Singapore. The one i got here in Shenzhen iss a special kind of awful. IIt seems to olke to repeat keys randomly. Makese logging in and putting in passwords a bit of a challenge.
<@xobs> Actually one of the thinigs I'll have to oworrk on that's kinid of challenginig is wwhat to do on fiirst boot
<@xobs> Moost distroos set upu pthiingns like username, passworrd, timemzone,, etc.. durinig seteup. WWe'll havev to odo that on first boot.
<@xobs> ...this is a areally, rreally bad keybooard.Comment: #kosagi on OFTC
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#311166 (23/35) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
swift110 | Sup y'all
<-- | Nothing_Much (Nothing_Muc@user/Nothing-Much/x-98833468) has quit (Connection closed)
BungusMcFungus | ^ |
#17044 (220/384) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Laura_ken> ameeeerrrrr
<amer> why do people do that
<amer> why can't you do "amer: this is my question blah blah blah?"
<amer> why do you have to wait for a response
<Rhayde> lol
<amer> goddamit i'm here, ask your question
<amer> or say what you have to say
<amer> jesus
* amer throws up his hands and leaves the room
<amer> well?
*** Exekiel (ZelementZ@192.168.100.101) has joined #lineage
<Exekiel> AMER
<amer> lol |
#23309 (191/332) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<xterm> six
<six> yes?
<xterm> lets argue, i'm bored :-)
<six> you need to come up with something stupid first |
#23971 (170/294) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<sloop> i downloaded matrix reloaded off kazaa
<sloop> i got 1gb of dutch porn
<sloop> bonus |
#27844 (197/345) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<INFINITE> heh, i just figured out Neo backwards is One
<z3ro> er.. Oen
<INFINITE> oh wait .. Shit |
#28892 (212/370) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@demalavor> I finally got to try krispy kreme
<@demalavor> <3
<@demalavor> the lady there scared me though
<@demalavor> I walked in and she jumped out from the corner and was like "FREE SAMPLE YAAAAA!!" |
#29018 (263/461) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Lana`> OOO talk tech to me baby OOooO
<timmo> Lana, im slowly mounting your drive...
<sl0th> unmount /dev/nullpants mount /dev/null/lana`
<Lana`> stop i am actually getting turned on!
<timmo> im unzipping your corset.zip
<michael> you guys make me feel good about myself |
#29678 (209/367) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<CornFly> how can you watch a 4:3 film?
<GenjuroXL> try looking at it |
#111 (337/595) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<jestuh> i was trying to go the speed limit so i didn't get a ticket but a cop got me in a school zone
<DigDug> How much?
<jestuh> i'm talking about need for speed not real life |
#2479 (220/384) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Screwy> I went on a 30-day diet
<Screwy> and lost 30 days |
#4886 (229/400) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<chris--> now i have to tell the coach that i can't play because my wrist hurts
<chris--> and he asks me how i injuried it
<chris--> and i say swinging a bat
<chris--> and it sounds stupid.
<chris--> it has 'masturbation injury' written all over it |
#6055 (226/395) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Guyver3> you know what the best part of being me is?
<Guyver3> being me
* Guyver3 gleams with an unholy glow
<kingmob> now, see, that's the kind of attitude i like to hear
<kingmob> the world needs more arrogant bastards
<kingmob> i get lonely |
#9241 (207/361) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@SwiftEdge> when i get my new comp I can play network games
<@SwiftEdge> but seeing as i have no friends i will have to run fast back and forth between the two |
#1672 (191/333) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(Stacey```) i'd like to know who the fuck encodes shit to real player
(Stacey```) so i can kick their ass |
#2469 (190/334) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<conceited> i cant sleep till i know im using up half of the neighborhood bandwidth |
#3052 (193/337) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<WillaCuz> shervin did u say u had a woman?
<shervin> WillaCuz: yeah but its losing pressure, i think it has a hole or something |
#3229 (214/374) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* WestBeach pretends hes an earthquake and flies around the room
<WestBeach> oops
<WestBeach> i meant to type...
<WestBeach> uhhh
<WestBeach> airplane |
#3563 (222/389) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Slant> Maybe I'll be able to ignore my GOD DAMN NEED TO HUMP ANYTHING HUMAN AND FEMALE
<Slant> ANYTHING
<Zor-SLEEP> i feel for your sisters. |
#4305 (229/401) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<D\TOX> ha, did you know entry-level pharmacists make $90k/yr?
<D\TOX> I'm in the wrong line of work...
<Xyrem> D\TOX : that's about the most boring job i've seen
<Xyrem> putting pills into a bottle
<D\TOX> and in your pocket
<D\TOX> and in your mouth
<D\TOX> and in people's drinks |
#5406 (234/411) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
*** Swish changes topic to '"I never pirated it....it was donated. by the file fairy. I put a blank CD under my pillow..."' |
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