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#6052 (154/266) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<fo0bar> I once has a (poor attempt) at a pr0n site, and was working with iBill on a support issue, and this young woman on the other end asks for what the site is so she can test it and I say "uhh, www.pussy4less.com" -- didn't even phase her |
#7263 (207/360) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<|nqbuss> i have no problem deciding what to do. if i'm hungry, i eat. if i'm tired, i sleep, if i need to user the bathroom, i use the bathroom, if none of the above, i sit in front of the computer |
#8349 (191/333) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Hito> This girl at school asked me a really wierd question today.
<Hito> "What's the best ecperience you've ever had while masturbating? Explain why. After, tell me what the worst experience you've had masturbating is, and explain why."
<Jin|Cool> I got that once as an essay question on my SAT.
<Jin|Cool> Mostly why I got a 1200. |
#8637 (238/418) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<NiTro> i gonna go test for hiv
<NiTro> bbl
<Impolite> think positive |
#8723 (231/405) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Linguica> whatever you say honey
<Linguica> err homey |
#11246 (194/338) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Saber> help me
<Saber> I just ate a fortune cookie
<Saber> But I don't remember taking the fortune out |
#152657 (99/167) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<mfg2> rob's no fucking coder
<mfg2> i've seen his keyboard as there's not a speck of dirt on his [ ] keys |
#178881 (131/225) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<defunkt> anyone know a good web-based survey system?
<defunkt> we need to find out why you guys are actually paying us moneyComment: From #github
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#299883 (38/60) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
ftmysally: I can not send email at all
ctnpinciotti: Go into your account settings and set your imap one to default.
ftmysally: my imap account is my default
ctnpinciotti: What happens when you try to send?
ftmysally: nothing unless I press send and receive
ctnpinciotti: So what happens when you do that...
ftmysally: it sends
ctnpinciotti: so...
ftmysally: never mind |
#301846 (249/437) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<blast007> I just think of me being single as doing two things to benefit the world: I'm helping control the population, and I'm putting a lawyer out of work. |
#302146 (166/288) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
ec> I thought you were bringing your lazy butt to work today
kj> yeah i changed my mind
ec> what are we going to do with all this "Welcome Back!" cake
kj> depends whether you want to keep the stripper inside alive or not |
#306606 (187/325) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Silly> i'm sat wanking with pron on my 50"tv right, doors closed and everything
<@Silly> right as im finishing up my housemate barges in, no fucking knocking or anything
<@Silly> i dont have time to hide my boner AND close the porn
<+Altruit> so which one did you hide?
<@Silly> so i throw my remote at him, altf4 and slam the keyboard on my dick
<@Silly> end result is that im very sore and ive got spunk all over my keybaord
<@Silly> and he still caught me |
#33459 (263/463) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<PeteriD> Ah, yes, online insult wars
<PeteriD> It's all fun and games 'til someone's Christian mom finds the logs.
<PeteriD> >.<Comment: DOH!
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#34422 (277/487) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Montana> Damn
<@Montana> I never knew it was so easy getting rid of annoying people...
<@Montana> <XTCgirl> hey
<@Montana> <XTCgirl> whereare you from
<@Montana> <XTCgirl> from bulgaria?
<@Montana> <Montana> I AM RUSSIA!
<@Montana> <Montana> OLD MAN! 53 YEARS OLD!
<@Montana> <Montana> CYBERSEX?
<@Montana> <XTCgirl> no thanks
<@Montana> <Montana> OK!!!!!!
<@Montana> <Montana> *drink vodka* |
#35023 (285/503) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<BlooDMooN> ok, what's a petabyte?
<snoozie> a byte that's devoted to eradicating cruelty to animals |
#35193 (274/482) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<JB> Friends come and go, but Nintendo is forever. |
#35417 (253/445) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Shenwu> hrm
<Shenwu> then, look at the top of mirc, see the row of little icons
<Shenwu> click the green icon with a /a
<Shenwu> when it opens, click the tab that says "Remotes"
<Gommba> do i need mirc to do this
<Shenwu> yes that would be good |
#38689 (176/306) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DarkMystery> She is only like 70
<Rufus> That's like 60 years too old
<DarkMystery> So you like 10 yr olds?
<Rufus> NO! |
#47009 (209/365) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<noisypop> meh what am I gonna do for 2 hours
<raw3> jack me off
<noisypop> then what for the remaining 1 hour and 59 minutes? |
#48794 (177/307) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<fry> "winnt_accept: Asynchronous AcceptEx failed."
<fry> what?
<fry> okay.. the first result I get when I google for it is a forum entry telling me to google for it..Comment: #gscript
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#49674 (276/486) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Vespucci> Ok, how many people with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?
<Cody> Hmm.
<Cody> I can think of a couple of answers to that, but none are particularly funny...
<Vespucci> Wanna play WoW?
<Vespucci> Hmm. I seem to have failed in the delivery of that joke both in speech and print.
<Cody> I got it.
<Cody> And I was going to comment...
<Cody> But I had decided to google ADD jokes to see what punchlines existed for the joke.
<Vespucci> What were you going to comment?
<Vespucci> ahh
<Cody> And I got distracted by the page of ADD jokes.
<Vespucci> lol
<Summoner> lol
<Cody> I think this may be a sign of something. :-( |
#49831 (255/451) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<kb> o
<kb> ^circle
<ppo> wow you have a very steady hand
<kb> thanks
<kb> i've been practicing |
#50149 (193/337) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Jason> And... the test is finished.
<Tristal> What was the test, "Can I drink this fifth of Jack Daniels in under 3 minutes?"
<Tristal> Because I noticed you cramming really hard before the exam |
#50251 (254/450) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Evil_Timmy> wow, just realized that the last couple of people ive slept with have been people i met on irc
<Evil_Timmy> i'm a netrosexual |
#50430 (176/306) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Nazrat> So is Chad completely gone now?
<AB> No. There's still a slight stain. |
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