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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..109110111112113114115..599Next> |
#51083 (257/423) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
legames: you know what pisses me off the most?
dackattac: Goats that kick you when you finger their asshole?
dackattac: Er
dackattac: What?
legames: There wouldn't even be a market for the iMic if Apple just had headphone jacks like everyone else
legames: also the goat thing |
#73997 (335/557) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Detty> aww, my poor housemates have sore muscles from playing wii
<Detty> maybe if they'd ever USED THEM BEFORE, they'd be fine, like me
<Baconfish> Detty, why do i imagine you in real life as one of those folk that do nothing but sit and complain about everything else?
<Detty> i usually stand |
#154850 (308/510) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Genesis`> Dr Phil said: Sometimes you just got to give yourself what you wish someone else would give you.
<@Genesis`> i cant bend over that far :( |
#307252 (58/88) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
HelgeSverre: ....
Lemmiwinks: You make some very good points
Lemmiwinks: .,.,, mine are all wonky |
#12045 (259/427) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Lordb> me want to meet some women tonight
<godlike> me thinks women might like man more if man didn't talk like ape. |
#14369 (264/436) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<_aa_> ebay just bought paypal
<tezzO> they did?!
<tardmac> what was their winning bid? |
#14530 (216/354) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
*** Darth-Phenom is now known as Guest38697
*** Sopabuena is now known as Guest21415
*** TheRealMatt is now known as Guest60273
*** Whitney is now known as Guest15303
<Flirbnic> Hey, cool. The sum of all the Guest numbers that just occurred in here, divided by 8, equals 16961.
<Flirbnic> $calc((15303+60273+38697+21415)/8)
<Flirbnic> ...
<Flirbnic> I have no life.
<TheRealMatt> no... no you don't |
#16230 (212/348) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
([m1]) teresa do you remember what i told you about the playground mentality of guys?
(resa) playground?
(resa) they only think about sex?
([m1]) no teresa
([m1]) that boys in elementary school would pick on girls they like
(Mog2) i'd hate to know how teresa connected the playground to thinking about sex |
#21208 (231/380) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Bob> It was a nervous twitch
<Carbeh> uh
<Carbeh> a nervous twitch that involved you jumping up, punching him in the face, and then insulting him online
<Bob> yes
<Bob> it really gets in the way of my love life |
#22980 (256/422) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<ruff> hey dana you and me baby we ain't nothing but mammals so let's do what they do on the discovery channel
<danamania> OK. So after I rip your head off and eat it, what happens then? Do I get royalties? Where's David Attenborough. Always wanted to meet that guy |
#4918 (238/391) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<joey`> mcdonalds fired me for trying to install irc on the teleprompter |
#6068 (238/392) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<GaeMan> Chia: Be nice to CAgurl today.
<chirpet> I am always nice to CAgurl. I resent the implication.
<chirpet> I am nice to everyone.
<chirpet> Always.
<chirpet> So shut up.
<chirpet> pigfucker. |
#6480 (256/425) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<axel026> i need help please
<^cell^> do you have an appointment?
<axel026> im french
<^cell^> i see... thats a terrible disorder |
#6908 (279/461) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Toen> OH NO! A steamroller comes barreling down on brentai! He must roll 1d20! Less than 6 escapes death!
<Toen> unless he wants to use up his luck charm and make it a 1d10!
<Brentai> I use my raping skill to rape the steamroller.
<Toen> your rape is ineffective against the cold, solid steel!
<Brentai> Well, crud.
<Brentai> 1d10
<Dildice> Brentai: 9
<Brentai> Er, 1d20.
<Brentai> 1d20
<Dildice> Brentai: 14
<Brentai> Crap, and crap.
<Toen> squish
<Brentai> Well, I went out trying to rape a steamroller. It's a man's death. |
#8248 (254/419) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<EK> What if the war in Afghanistan was fought with midgets!
<Jei> With midgets as infantry, or as ammunition? |
#8471 (283/467) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<sisko> Q. What's the height of conceit?
<sisko> A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
<mmm> i do that
<mmm> "oh god" |
#648 (246/406) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<snerfu> I would say the worst feeling is waking up after a night of drunken stupor and in the process of walking to your computer all you see is a pine session that says: your email "im drunk" has been sent. |
#759 (268/444) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<cygnus> oi
<cygnus> in windows
<cygnus> what it mean
<cygnus> if the folder has a hand underneaath it
<Sephiroth> means it is shared
<Sephiroth> across your network
<cygnus> how did you know that
<cygnus> i thought it meant itwas heavy
<cygnus> or something
<cygnus> like
<cygnus> it's got 10 gigs in it |
#3570 (284/470) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
*** d6|GaiaN has joined #lesbians
<d6|GaiaN> lol
<d6|GaiaN> EVERYONE OF YOU ARE GUYS AND I KNOW IT |
#6828 (203/334) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<tweet> does n e one else's gf ever told them they wanna fuck you with a strapon?
<Nekorin> Good news, Tweet, you have a girlfriend.
<Nekorin> Bad news, she's thinks you're gay. |
#7270 (224/369) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
( Lev ) i got to taste pre-mixed coca-cola concentrate from McDOnalds!
( Lev ) BEFORE THE WATER!
( Lev ) WEEEEEEEEEEEEE |
#84532 (317/527) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Nightripper> Ah, airport security. After 9/11, things got hectic. My way is simple, direct, and effective.
<mcfuzzhead> what's your way?
<Nightripper> "Weapons are mandatory."
<Nightripper> Don't hijack this plane, no sir. Granny's packing a machete!
<Nightripper> "Sir, you didn't set off the metal detector. I'm gonna have to ask that you take this pistol with you." |
#92169 (405/677) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Vergo> man...
<Vergo> back in the old days... we had smarter idiots... |
#190590 (220/362) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Cyber> Here's an easy way to tell if a heat sink is pure copper or contains an aluminum base
<Cyber> If you can't afford it
<Cyber> it's pure copper |
#300167 (279/463) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Moon_Doggy> sugar, egg, and peanut butter does not turn into a cookie when you bake it..............it turns into FIRE |
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