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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..113114115116117118119..599Next> |
#28507 (245/407) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@John> why does there have to be sunlight
<@Luster> so us geeks know when to go to bed |
#30306 (191/315) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<dedhed> Living within your means is totally where it's at
<Grifter> and by "within your means" you mean "with my parents" right? |
#30625 (305/511) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
ethun: this is crazy
ethun: i never got a virus with Windows ME
Zaphod-B.: of course not
Zaphod-B.: viruses dont infect other viruses :P |
#32776 (263/439) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Olafsson> grr.. my little brother spilled soda on my keyboard and his.. luckly I keep a spare behind the sofa.
<MitchShrader> a spare little brother?
<Olafsson> keyboard.. that is
<MitchShrader> oh. i could see going thru little brothers regular if they spill soda on keyboards.. |
#1800 (227/376) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Matt-H> Leeches cure everything.
<JDigital> What about an allergy to leeches?
<Fry> What about loss of blood ?
<Matt-H> 'cept that, you witty bastard, you.
<JDigital> Or a fear of leeches.
<JDigital> Or lag. |
#4408 (240/399) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<MosServ> Katto: They will keep fighting, they think that dying in battle for their God is the greatest honor. But they also think they'll go to hell if they have pork in their stomach. Solution: Pork bullets. |
#8750 (213/353) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<mantra> the other guitarist in my band owns my soul
<mantra> i sold it to him in third grade for a peanut butter cup
<mantra> he still has the little yellow paper |
#11427 (207/342) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DannyBoy> Hey CB, do you have any old website interface templates laying around that you have no use for? =8)
<Cowboy_w3rk> er
<Cowboy_w3rk> <html><body>insert content</body></html>
<Cowboy_w3rk> there ya go
<DannyBoy> wonderful
<DannyBoy> hey, that looks like shit |
#98 (2223/3862) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ikkenai> i don't have hard drives. i just keep 30 chinese teenagers in my basement and force them to memorize numbers |
#285 (347/587) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<BlackDeth> that was the night those gay dudes were hittin on me
<BlackDeth> and the one offered me money to go sex0r him
<BlackDeth> they prolly saw i was wrecked
<BlackDeth> and thought they could take advantage
<BlackDeth> boglins own
<ikkenai> so how much did he pay you
<BlackDeth> he didnt
<BlackDeth> he just offered
<ikkenai> oh
<ikkenai> so you did it for free |
#1078 (215/357) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(idea) i just spent 10 mins troubleshooting my cdr because it said that my blank cd "was not ready
(idea) turns out i accidently put in one of those clear cd things at the bottom of the cake box |
#1774 (267/446) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<WabbyTwax> MOVIE TRIVIA TIME You have to beat EtherMan's high score of 720
<WabbyTwax> Question #59: for 60 points . . . .
<WabbyTwax> What special skill did the cricket possess in the movie "Mulan"?
<Evil_God> talking
<EtherMan> speech
<D-viant> singing
<Evil_God> ninjitsu
<EtherMan> swordsmanship
<D-viant> violin
<EtherMan> flight
<D-viant> fighting
<EtherMan> homosexuality
<D-viant> japanese fighting cricket
<Evil_God> big slapping testicles
<WabbyTwax> Sorry, your time is up! You had 30 seconds to answer.
<D-viant> expanding rectum
<Evil_God> opium addiction |
#6459 (272/456) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Bobo> what's wrong with being a homosexual?
<klong> it's gay |
#144151 (516/876) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<abc> I think it's time to switch to a new job.
<Wizard> why?
<lifesazoo> piss poor excuse for a wizard .. a real wizard would just know |
#220584 (150/246) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<SilverDrake> I don't fall in love with actors all that much
<SilverDrake> mostly 'cuz it breaks my heart when they go and become Scientologists |
#297713 (158/260) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<tyranny12> and i quote the television: 'Foster's. Get some Australian in you. <pause, woman's voice comes on> Am I pregnant?' |
#307080 (247/415) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<aNavi> i like my women how i like my video games
<dd7> 12 years old and made in japan?
<aNavi> yes
<aNavi> ah, fuck |
#308208 (42/62) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sebas> I typed "aO" and sat wondering why it didn't turn into an @ for at least five seconds
<Sebas> I should probably sleep |
#34209 (268/448) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Pookablu> Ron Dwight, the author of the RAR compression format, passed away a few days ago.
<ev> he was found in several same-size pieces and had to be combined to put him in the coffin |
#35720 (276/460) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<the_stick> gfjgfjgfj : because I blew up a $152 PSU in the most stupid way
<the_stick> Life was almost perfect...now Im back into a puddle of shit
<gfjgfjgfj> Ah.
<gfjgfjgfj> From perfection to shit in 3 easy steps.
<the_stick> 1 step actually "Just connect the PSU into the wrong voltage outlet"
<gfjgfjgfj> Yes, but step 1 was "Buy excellent PSU" and step 3 is "Cry self to sleep".
<the_stick> Oh yeahComment: #Futuremark
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#37785 (201/333) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Lucifer7> I think I just caught my Linux servers in the act,
<@Lucifer7> I walk in and both of them are at high network and hard drive activity.
<@Lucifer7> Then they both suddenly stop and the lights go back to normal.Comment: #Fritolaid irc.homelan.com
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#39236 (209/347) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Dave: should i order anal grease with the cpu?
Dave: THERMAL
Dave: >< |
#41090 (232/386) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
- redgreen [~rg@HSE-Toronto-ppp3478702.sympatico.ca] has joined #england
redgreen> howdy there
redgreen> yeehaw
redgreen> i am from texas
redgreen> anyone into bull riding?
Bite_> oh yes, highly popular activity in england |
#46095 (257/429) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<xkcd> okay, I've got a 6GB partition free, I'm gonna put in a FreeBSD disk and boot and see if I can install. Anyone have any advice?
<Socket7> have you made a will yet?
<-- xkcd has quit (wish me luck)
[30 minutes pass]
--> xkcd_ (xkcd@hide-BF9D384C.centrl01.va.comcast.net) has joined #pugglewump
<xkcd> let us never speak of this 'FreeBSD incident' again. |
#50332 (226/382) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<BlackDeth> flipping through the channels i stumbled on that religion channel
<BlackDeth> and the guy is saying how now with mpeg4 digital compression they can broadcast several versions of their show simultaneously
<BlackDeth> then he went on to say how its gods plan and how mpeg came to us from god to spread his word
<BlackDeth> that was the best shit ive ever seen |
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