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#55184 (239/391) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Jame5> A cop was waving me into a random breath test thing at the side of the road, and as I got closer he saw I was driving a volvo and just waved me on. |
#60524 (284/466) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Jane: Random question for you.
Harald387: Random answer for you.
Jane: WoW - Rogue or Mage for highest DPS?
Harald387: HOONGA OONGA OOGA CHAKA |
#61040 (324/534) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Trinexx> Ahhhh, nothing like putting on a fresh pair of boxers :)
<Apollo> bleh, boxers
<Apollo> because having my dick wiggle its way out of my pants is so much fun. i prefer briefs
<Trinexx> yeah, because having your balls shoved up into your asshole is so much better |
#12318 (282/463) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
* @Lan plays with his privates.
<Rintaun> ...
<@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers
<@Lan> They are really neat |
#13406 (233/381) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@AJ-> [-amp-]: My girl might be, erm, uh, you know
<@[-amp-]> a man? |
#13634 (204/331) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<me tarzan> someone please tell me the name of disk 2 in the curse
<Huz> Tarzan: "Disk 2". You should be able to find it in the CD case you got when you bought the game. It's quite distinct, being the only other CD in there other than "Disk 1", which is also clearly labelled. |
#14454 (243/398) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<gweeds> wow
<gweeds> i am now completely out of credit card debt
<gweeds> time to dive back in |
#16676 (287/472) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Stinkysteven67: I love married with children. Its a great show.
Lucy17: It's ok, One thing that bugs me about that show,
In the pilot series they had Al bundy sounding like he was from Brooklyn
or something when they are supposed to be from Chicago.
Stinkysteven67: Where do you think brooklyn is dork?
Lucky17: Its in new york goofball, chicago is in illinios.
Stinkysteven67: Oh sorry, I've never been good at geometry.
Lucy17: Umm yea.. |
#23916 (202/329) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<CommanderStab> When I was young I thought being a chemist just meant mixing random chemicals together and seeing what happened
<CommanderStab> So I wanted to be one, so when I was young I went to the bathroom and mixed together every single thing I could find
<CommanderStab> I called it "Sparkle-shine shampoo" and tested it out on myself
<CommanderStab> I've had dandruff ever since and anti-dandruff shampoo doesn't help >__<
<CommanderStab> It didn't make my hair sparkle-shine, either ;___; |
#26368 (271/447) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<ecco> HELLO MICROSOFT WORD SPELLCHECK
<ecco> spellcheck results for 'adn': amputate, arthritis, antidisestablishmentarianism, samurai, tissue, jetpack, George Orwell |
#28781 (321/529) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Ab0mination> I sleep on a bunk bed yeah, which is only accessbile by a ladder and last night I must've been dreaming or something because I woke up screaming about my ladder being taken off my bed so I couldn't get down
<Ab0mination> And I dreamt that there was a badger sleeping at the end of the bed
<Ab0mination> So in sheer terror I jumped from my bunkbed down onto the floor at 3am.
<Ab0mination> I've now got to go to the vet to get my cat checked out because I landed right on him as he was sleeping on my floor and squashed him. (he's a deaf fuckwit)
<Ab0mination> My parents and sisters are not speaking to me.
<Ab0mination> Because they found me kneeling down beside the limp cat yelling manically at it and waggling my fingers at it like the Borg of Star Trek do.
<Ab0mination> Apparently I was screaming: "I am Locutus of Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile". |
#33035 (340/562) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(fleet): what I love about this channel is that no matter what I say, temp0 tells me to rail myself with a metal pole.
(temp0): i like you fleet
(fleet): really?
(temp0): NO! FUCK OFF AND RAIL YOURSELF WITH A METAL POLE |
#14662 (247/406) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Funk> I need money fast.
<wildkarrdex> ok I have an idea
<Funk> What?
<wildkarrdex> well you send me £100 by cheque
<Funk> And then?
<wildkarrdex> and then what? |
#17469 (267/439) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
HolyViper7: im confused as to how i'm still allowed to breathe the same oxygen as other human beings. i just bought some tic tacs, and most of em are gone... and you know how some tic tacs get like, stuck? well, see, i didnt wanna make too much noise so i put the tic tac container in my lap and i hit the container. it was then i realized i had testicles. it was quite painful |
#18302 (259/425) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Lut> haha wtf
<Lut> my sister just had a baby
<Lut> and i didn't even know she was pregnant |
#18954 (331/548) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Kevyn> I AM COOL. THE END.
<SqueeMonkey> hahahahahah
<SqueeMonkey> nice story Kevyn
<Kevyn> My favorite part was the part where I am cool.
<Chris_A> It could have used a monster.
<Kevyn> Well, it's only a first draft.
<Kevyn> I have since revised it.
<Kevyn> I AM COOL. THERE IS A MONSTER. THE END. |
#19541 (273/449) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Samurai> She isn't forcing anyone! she haven't asked them of nothing½!
<enisoc> how the hell do you type a ½ symbol by accident?? |
#20553 (278/458) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<SACS|Maul555> download 5t5ha55t
<SaintDuriel> jeeze whats with your 5 man... if you hit a key close to it does it do a five?
<SACS|Maul555> ive5 been leaving m5y lap5top on 24/7... 5think 5t5ha5ts bad 5fo5r a lap5top?
<Gorin> yes, now fix the your five button
<SACS|Maul555> i 5cant5 i glu5d i5t, bu5t 5th5e glue 5cam5e o5f5f5
<SACS|Maul555> 5yo5u5 don5t unde5rs5tan5d 5the 5 bu5t5ton is missin5g... ho5w i5t 5came ou5t is wha5ts 5causin5g 5the 5p5roblem
<Gorin> uh huh
<SACS|Maul555> 5the sp5r5ing und5e5rne5a5th is b5roken... so 5th5e li5t5tl5e me55chanism k5ee5ps 5tou5chin5g 5the pad
<Gorin> i think you're lying.
<SACS|Maul555> 5can i 5type 5this 5fas5t5 an5d pu5t in5e55r5ro5rs on5 pu5rpos5e?
<SACS|Maul555> pff5t |
#27177 (243/399) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<BobTheMil> the sun's coming out
<BobTheMil> i should do my homework now
<BobTheMil> IRC says no
<BobTheMil> </haiku> |
#28866 (282/464) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<blue09> Eldritch, did you buy the game, or, *cough*
* Eldritch coughs
<blue09> how large? *cough*
<blue09> i mean.. how many.. micro.. bullions.. in your.. (i)soup..
<Eldritch> 166mb *cough*
<blue09> *cough* can i try some of your *cough* (i)soup? *cough*
<blue09> i need it for my *cough* cold *cough*
<Eldritch> sure
<Eldritch> wait for me to set up my soup server *cough*
<blue09> *cough*
<Eldritch> or would you rather dcc?
<Eldritch> er.. I mean instant soup |
#30559 (311/513) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Pixistix> I'm going to name my kids Control, Alt, and Delete.
<Pixistix> If they ever get to be a problem I'll just hit them all twice
<Pixistix> Problem solved. |
#30957 (263/433) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<nomad> everything loads so fast on this computer
<nomad> I have no time to decide what I will do next |
#297921 (162/262) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<bsparks> So, I guess I'm single.
<Tribal> I guess so
<bsparks> well, I'm gonna install Linux a few times |
#301702 (265/435) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
pookyrocks: but maybe some places people just don't care about the super bowl?
pookyrocks: and ignore the fact that exists?
Shivers: yeah
Shivers: those places are called "the rest of the world" :P |
#301941 (205/337) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<ShadeS> r4v5: know much about turntables?
<r4v5> not *much*
<r4v5> i put an album on it and then move the arm over?
<r4v5> and jazz comes out?
<r4v5> but yeah, the main things i know are things like "if you take a 12" trance single and play it back at 33, it becomes a chillout single of longer length"
<myself248> bwaahahaha
<r4v5> you're laughing but it was pretty fucking amazing. Friend has crates full of techno; I was like "can I spin some?"
<r4v5> First one I grabbed was full of obnoxious high squeaks. switched to 33 and it was fat acid sounds. |
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