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#303426 (197/321) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<btg101> i spend half my day fixing the shit i wrote at night without thinking
<btgt101> and the other half writing the shit im gonna fix tomorrow |
#304406 (115/185) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<atari2600a> anyone else ever stare at that last supper painting
<atari2600a> & think to themselves what jesus was thinking
* atari2600a are now known as jesus
* jesus looks to the left, right
<jesus> you know there's FOUR SIDES to this table right?
<nwongfeiying> What?
<nwongfeiying> Lies.
<jesus> we all don't have to be scrunched together like this
<jesus> Judas what the fuck are you doing
<jesus> pass the rolls you asshole
<jesus> GOD DAMNIT the sun's burning the back of my fucking head!
<Armandtanzarian> i think the dinner is the least of your concerns
<Armandtanzarian> there are idiots in texas burning abortion clinics
<jesus> brb, Romans |
#306023 (45/71) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< Obtuse> so the captain says live tesla coils at noon?
<@masterofmonks> That sounds like an odd choice of dueling weapons.Comment: #thegeekgroup on irc.freenode.net
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#311086 (36/52) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<hep> the children actually get mad at me a lot because i wont pay attn to them
<hep> MOM
<hep> PAY ATTN TO ME ONLINE
<hep> LOOK AT MY MEMES
<hep> LIKE MY SELFIES
<hep> like jfc kid
<hep> i have an online life too you know
<hep> this original content dont post itself |
#6277 (235/385) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Speck> being able to type doesn't mean you're a computer nerd. It just means you have a higher intelligence than a turnip |
#7065 (235/384) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<skatoni> will some one please help
<shev> ya?
<skatoni> there is a guy hacking into my computer
<shev> unplug your modem
<skatoni> how?
<shev> see those wires behind your computer?
<shev> rip'em all out
*** skatoni has quit IRC (Read error to skatoni[ppp012.rosenet.net]: Connection reset by peer) |
#10486 (224/367) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<cj_> we lost 20,000 rows of customer data
<Twid> cj: eek!
<Twid> I hope the innocent were blamed.
<Kin-San> 20k? holy...
<cj_> we blamed the guy that didn't come in today.
<Kin-San> lol
<Twid> good. as long as normal business procedures were followed |
#11609 (228/373) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Lac> Whats so unfathomable of: Double click zip file, hit extract, click the C: Drive, hit ok.
<hmne> Slow down, double what? |
#34181 (276/454) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Paradidle> I wonder what a dog thinks right before it humps someones leg... "I dont know what it is, but I'm gonna fuck it." |
#34993 (308/508) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<SisterJessica> there is no tree or leaf worth crying about
<infinite_monkey> SisterJessica - Where do you think oxygen comes from?
<SisterJessica> infinite_monkey the air, thanks. |
#42552 (209/341) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Darrick> i have some nintendo newsletter suubscription for some reason
<Darrick> and they sent me an email about mario tennis
<Darrick> the header: "Whack it, Mario"Comment: #acmlm, irc.acmlm.org
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#42665 (240/394) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Dizzo> doesnt look like I'll be spending thanksgiving with family
<Dizzo> all they do is get on my ass about why im not in college right now anyway
<Dizzo> "Why aren't you getting your degree? You're like 21"
<Dizzo> "I don't know grandma, why aren't you dead? You're like 75"
<Dizzo> im glad im willing to settle for cranberry sauce in a can, because thats as happy as its gonna get
<Sephraem> wtf |
#44889 (268/440) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<chevell> not to sound bigoted, but racist jokes are hilarious
<crudesunlight> Agreed.
<chevell> i wonder why there aren't any caucasian jokes?
<crudesunlight> You white boys don't need any help looking stupid. |
#47839 (263/433) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Pentavite> how does master chief manage to respawn in five seconds?
<goldfish> it took jesus three days |
#50728 (219/357) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<h4m911> i think i am going to rather enjoy my workcentre's new policy of "we won't work on your shitbox unless you sit here and wait while we do"
<h4m911> that should cut down my work load by about 900%
<punch> heh
<punch> fuck that
<punch> i dont need Newbie McTalker hovering over me while i fix his emachine
<punch> "what are you doing now?"
<punch> "what program is that?"
<punch> "where did you learn to do that?"
<punch> "what caused that to break?"
<punch> "i just bought that machine a year ago brand new"
<punch> "what do you mean its a 486"
<h4m911> you're not bitter at all! |
#57608 (325/537) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<sutna> You wouldn't think that not knowing the difference between a cupboard and a drawer could break apart a family.
<Seeker> It can?
<sutna> When I was like 6 my mom bought my grandmom a present on my behalf for her birthday. She told me it was in the cupboard and I should go fetch it for granny.
<Seeker> I can see where this is going..
<sutna> So granny is sitting on the couch waiting for her present and I looked in the drawer instead of the cupboard , I came running out the room holding a huge black ribbed dildo.
<Seeker> Well I feel sorry for you but you won't be offended if I piss myself laughing?
<sutna> spose not
<Seeker> WA HA AH AAHA AHA AHA AHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA |
#69640 (268/440) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
[helf] my trip was stupid. it was my fault :P the problem that is. i had forgotten and left automatic updates enabled.. so it would download updates, restart itself and our hard drive protection hardware/software would kick in on reboot and revert any changes made.. so it just sat there all morning looping
[helf] i got there and all the public machines were rebooting
[helf] the nontechnical lady was all 'they wont stopp!!!!!!" |
#33753 (216/354) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<phoxxy> i was on the phone with a company for my business that was in Tennesee. the guy was trying to tell me information over the phone. i asked if they had a website and he goes "Well, I didn't offer to give you our website information because I didn't think you had internet in Indiana." |
#34264 (299/495) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<AnimeFreak> happy, are there any decent neo geo emulators for linux?
<happy> had you bothered to look, you would already have your answer. i can only therefore assume that your asking me is actually a thinly veiled request for anal penetration |
#34999 (304/504) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Zuwadza> Ha
<Zuwadza> Apparently a young girl in Jackie Chan's fan club killed herself when she found out he was married
<Zutroy> not a big fan if she didn't know that
<Zutroy> poseurComment: Err, no comment.
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#35016 (279/461) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<zaney> how tall is arnald
<zaney> from t2
<zaney> i cant spell his last name
<HomerJ> zaney : can't spell his first name either |
#35766 (301/499) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
* soulbleed changes topic to 'Do you like: Shaved [4] Trimmed [0] Bushy [0] Landing Strip [2] Heart [1] fuck it aim for the ass [1]'
<johnnyqu_> haha, best topic ever
<johnnyqu_> but what's it about?
<@soulbleed> ..................... |
#44802 (243/399) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<biounix> its horrible, i know
<biounix> but i'm not a writer
<biounix> and i have a BASIC vocabulary
<stan> 10 GOTO SCHOOL |
#46473 (259/427) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
*** X___ has joined #invest
<X___> omg! i got these hot pics of my older sister nude last night!
<br0ker> This is #invest...
<br0ker> "C" and "V" are adjacent. |
#50253 (244/404) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
-!- Diana15 [RubyiyuX@CBL217-132-105-79.bb.netvision.net.il] has joined #geekissues
-!- mode/#geekissues [+b *!*@CBL217-132-105-79.bb.netvision.net.il] by debt
-!- Diana15 was kicked from #geekissues by c-rOCK [banned]
< Omnica> bot?
<@debt> assume so
< Omnica> you assume so cause what girl in the right mind would join #geekissues?
<@debt> yes |
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