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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..509510511512513514515..596Next> |
#1641 (0/216) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[tonsai] i once bought a non-lubricated mint condom just to taste it. |
#1716 (0/313) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<occifer> my penis was fat
<occifer> not to long ago
<occifer> so i employed a well known chineese remedy
<occifer> you simple tug and pull at it for a couple of minutes |
#1733 (0/323) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<twist> I masturbated to a dreamcast game once
<twist> It was a fighting game, and 2 of the chicks had very large breasts
<twist> and their breasts jiggled when they moved |
#1809 (0/291) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DMC[ijcd]> I cut holes in my pockets to masturbate in public |
#1812 (0/197) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<doobedoobedoo> I went to wales too, they're fucked people.
<doobedoobedoo> The language is really fucked up, it's like gaelic, only more fucked up.
<Thom> At least it isn't Ulster Scots.
<doobedoobedoo> Is that what they speak there? I thought they just spoke english really really poorly. |
#1829 (0/300) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kisama> fuck english too
<kisama> the lesbian has us playing "mythology bingo"
<kisama> what the fuck is "mythology bingo"
<kisama> and those stuck upppppp ass bitches
<kisama> were getting into it
<kisama> "DAVID AND GOLIATH WERE COOL!"
<kisama> "OH YEAH, CUPID AND PSYCHE LOOK SOOOOOOOOO CUTE IN THE BOOK!"
<kisama> "LIKE, YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS REALLY COOL STORY ABOUT PROMETHEUS! HE GAVE US FIRE, WHAT A SWEET GUY!" |
#1832 (0/297) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<`michael> when i was in preschool my mom used to babysit this girl my age named julie
<`michael> and we had this room in the basement
<`michael> and we went in there and she licked my penis |
#1837 (0/228) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<barkode> you don't even want to be in the same area code as me after indian food |
#1843 (0/281) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kisama> rubber cement needs a mr. yuk logo |
#1848 (0/254) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kisama_> that's why i like anime
<Guilty> Maybe
<kisama_> because the anime is usually good enough to merit a dvd
<kisama_> not like this shit from the u.s. like power rangers
<Guilty> I know they made some straight to video "movie"-majiggers
<kisama_> and power rangers extrafalarious fantabulous galactic sorcerer
edition with new cast because the old ones got teased at school
super megatronic edition |
#1860 (0/210) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DigiGnome> When you recognise most of the links from Portal of Evil because they're on your favourites list, that's the time to start worrying. |
#1863 (0/268) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(nexxai) I think I'm gonna start a Fingernail Crud collection
(nexxai) some people have Celebrity Hair collections
(nexxai) mine will be fingernail crud
(nexxai) not of celebrities though...they might scratch their ass alot or something |
#1900 (0/248) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<antonio> yeah, i whipped out the binder for this one kid who thought he misunderstood me when i said "satan"
<kisama> how i wish i could have been there
<kisama> to see the look on a man's face when you whip out a self portrait of the devil
<kisama> and say "SATAN DID MY HOMEWORK" |
#1902 (0/206) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Lord_Cie> CNN (Boca Raton, FL) A new report has OJ Simpson quoted as saying that he "will vow to search for the real terrorists" |
#1913 (0/284) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<refugee> Robbin: you think this is just a 'rag the dog' scenario?
<vermifuge> refugee - you need to put this in terms she can understand
<vermifuge> Robbin - do you think they are having a sale on fried fish, just to draw attention away from the fact that they ran out of chicken at popeyes? |
#1914 (0/393) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<_xu> does your knees feel tired the day after you masturbate or have sex? |
#1945 (0/305) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<infinity> IT'S AN EAST COAST WEST COAST THANG..BEEEEYOTCH!
<al-x> east coast west coast for inf = russia and france
<infinity> stfu asswipe |
#1971 (0/265) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Stacey> justin man i want you to meet my nerd friend from school
<Stacey> i want you to make fun of him
<Stacey> i have to run from him everyday
<Stacey> not friend
<Stacey> no no no
<Stacey> and i had to sit for ten minutes watching him show off his dos commands
<Stacey> and i'm like i wanna go out for lunch i have a life...fucking type format C: before i kill you |
#1974 (0/261) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pinin> i give it 5 years before taliban is destroyed and northern alliance gets their own country back and we fund em and turn it into a big shopping mall |
#1991 (0/296) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<|Chris> i'm very pro-hiv
<|Chris> damn disease discrimination
<|Chris> why are people so prejudiced against HIV?
<|Chris> people are down with hepatitis and shit
<|Chris> but they're so full of hate for HIV |
#2030 (0/296) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<FieroMan> I wanna jerk off but my nose is too stuffy. |
#2050 (0/312) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<B_Spears> Jimmy Buffet? aww
<Slander> Jimmy rocks man
<Ferney> heh
<B_Spears> yeah, in a rocking chair ;) |
#2080 (0/316) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kay|oss> i am at work
<epp> hehe.. that's not the worst place to be
<epp> (if there's no airplanes around) |
#2096 (0/187) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(therap|st) IMPERIAL PARKING is seeking a JUNIOR FIELD AUDITOR. This full time position will require a self starter who has their own car and analytical mind with an eye for detail. Interested applicants please fax resume to 943-XXXX attn: Operations Manager.
(therap|st) would that mean id be the bastard who drives around and gets people towed?
(Cid-Away) be like "your hawt and illegally parked i think somthing can be arranged" :)
(Dane_) tow pimp
(Cid-Away) you can tell if someone is hawt by the way tehre illegally parked
(therap|st) those guys must think im hella hot
(therap|st) cause i park like shit |
#2097 (0/312) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<phlo> i believe i'm going to have to explain to my gf that you dont put the ashes from the last bowl back into the box with the rest of the dope |
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