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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..146147148149150151152..596Next> |
#152127 (206/550) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@jig[g]ster> yeah ignore me i'm on acid :P (methamphetaminelly speaking)
<@jig[g]ster> er, metaphorically* |
#214880 (205/543) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<~SHAGGSTaRR> "Whats the best thing about fucking a transvestite?
<~SHAGGSTaRR> Reaching around and thinking it's gone all the way through."Comment: timboss #dirt
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#259 (206/464) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<reptile-> My hands are soft and girly-like.
<reptile-> Masturbating is so much better for me!
<Taurclave> You dream of handjobs
<DigDug> reptile- pretends that the hands belong to a girl
<Taurclave> He probably has painted nails on his favorite hand |
#2563 (206/365) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DAL9000> if you ever feel dumb
<DAL9000> look at tasmboy
<DAL9000> and you'll feel better.
* logosmani looks
<Rud0lf> heh
<TasmBoy> its not working
<DAL9000> because you're you.
<DAL9000> looking at yourself would throw you into a recursive loop of stupidity. |
#3647 (206/366) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
*** Now talking in #funadultchat
<Megumi> i am ready to receive my fun |
#7848 (205/427) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Damocles`: o/` we all live in a yellow double hulled boyancy controlled ship of war! o/`
Zibblsnrt smacks Damo for that ;)
Zibblsnrt: Damo: I and my comrades posess as our place of residence the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double-hulled buoyancy-controlled boat ofwar
Zibblsnrt: I can outobfuscate your sorry ass anyday >%)
Zibblsnrt dares someone to bloat that through another level. %)
Damocles`: o/` i and my comrades posess as our place of residence the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double hulled boyancy controlled ship of war!
E_of_C: The carbon-metabolizing physical presence that currently houses my conscious and those physical manefestations of my comrades all possess as our common residential abode the interior of a mid-visible spectrum double hulled buoyancy controlled ship of war!
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#9645 (206/344) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<reflexive> WHAT'S COOL ABOUT THIS JOB
<reflexive> IS THAT I GET ALL THE COFFEE I WANT.
<reflexive> ehehehehhehehe.
<|reptile|> coffee blackens your teeth, taints your breath, and thrashes your nerves.
<reflexive> ...where's the downside? |
#11181 (206/362) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<bean2edu>Try seeding the RNG with the current system time, that should help somewhat
<kram>You do know that the numbers generated are still pseudo-random, and not true RNs. In fact there is no way to generate true random numbers.
<bean2edu>Obviously you've never had your wife balance the checkbook. |
#12290 (206/399) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DMA57361> my sister has a theory about ppl called dave . . .
<DMA57361> every company everywhere has a least 1 person called "Dave"
<DMA57361> phone up a random company, ask for "Dave" and there will be one |
#13821 (206/383) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jonathan> Hey you know what's hard? Trying to move your toes individually!
<Jonathan> I've been practicing though. My left foot's toes are almost completely independent.
<Sumez> gee, Jon, what awaste of time
<Sumez> At least spend your time pulling your penis so it gets longer or something else that's useful
<Jonathan> I have people who do that for me. |
#21734 (206/380) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Moogs> Matrix Reloaded is a very different kind of film from the original, both in style and theme. The first movie posed the question, "What is the nature of reality?" The question for this movie is, "Do French people ever stop talking?" - MacHall
<WrexSoul> Or perhaps, "Why is Colonel Sanders sitting in a room full of TVs?" |
#26343 (205/361) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ModIWD> these girl scouts on this box almost look old enough
<ModIWD> to uh
<ModIWD> be selling cookies |
#27224 (206/352) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<William> Heh.. they had a D&D 3.5 business kit at my venue yesterday.. they had preorder sheets, and if you filled one out you got a free D&D temporary tattoe of a spell.. the owner gave me a few free. heh.. all Protection from Good. I am gonna wear one on my head to my gaming group tommarow.
<Peter> Will, you need to get laid. |
#27414 (206/382) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* `Kumba is still away -( snoozles )- gone 674 day 13 hr 19 min 32 s
<Kweeky> R.I.P Kumba. |
#28448 (206/378) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<]|-|[> that was not sarcasm
<]|-|[> I can do better sarcasm
<CommaToes> sure you can
<]|-|[> You suck at sarcasm as well, CommaToes
<CommaToes> sure I do
<]|-|[> Shut up!
<CommaToes> that's gonna happen |
#32928 (206/384) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<HiddenGenius> anyone know a nice way to tell someone to shut the fuck up? |
#14215 (205/354) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<gaz> i don't think terrorists would be stupid enough to do anything on independence day anyway
<gaz> not after the aliens did it |
#20688 (205/362) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<markogogo> Do you Americans know what a "Bubba" is?
<ptachka> yes, we elected one |
#21797 (205/352) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<c0de> Should NASA invest in making the space shuttle safer or develop a new program?
<c0de> (vote)
<c0de> on CNN
<untermensch> new program, obviously. that old one's boring as fuck now
<untermensch> just re-run after re-run
<c0de> yeah, we need a new series
<c0de> 30-minutes long, every wednesday night at 19:00
<c0de> we can put cameras on the shuttle as well and film the crew all the time
<c0de> call it "Big Shuttle"
<untermensch> yes
<c0de> and each week we vote to kick a guy out the airlock |
#28887 (204/404) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<fred> i say, you shoot three people, because they won't make you apple pie, and all of a sudden you are a "murderer". what is the world coming to?
<fred> and then when the police have the audacity to come to "talk" they don't bring any pie with them. rude.
<fred> i hope you all realise my one phone call was wasted on this dial up connection. |
#29309 (205/395) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Vehementi> heh, was at this party last night, this dude had the best wife ever, he was extremely drunk and playing max payne, and his sober wife was helping him play, telling him where to go, etc. |
#30594 (205/365) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<J3anyus> i just received a sign from god that i'm going to get laid at the concert i go to tonight
<J3anyus> i was coming home and decided to check my mail, even though i wasn't expecting anything
<J3anyus> opened it up, and there was a little envelope
<J3anyus> opened that up, inside was a "FREE SAMPLE FROM TROJAN CONDOMS!" |
#151230 (205/331) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<LSnK> Defrag is one of those programs that gets more and more shit with each version of Windows.
<LSnK> 98: Real time view, you can see what it's doing and might even learn something.
<LSnK> XP: Boring line.
<LSnK> Vista: Never used it
<LSnK> I'm guessing it doesn't show anything at all.
<Falc> It's just a spinning disk.
<Falc> If Microsoft made cars you'd have a 'Hit speed limit light'
<Falc> As opposed to a conventional speedometer. |
#264956 (205/333) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+MooG> my friend and his mates made up a big cardboard car out of a fridge box once
<+MooG> and went through the drivethrough
<+MooG> they even had one being the "radio", beatboxing
<+Formalhaut> McDonalds don't serve us when we walk through but BK do. More business for them, even if it is drunkards
<+MooG> and they did mime actions for the window winding and everything
<+MooG> wish i'd filmed it |
#301941 (205/337) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ShadeS> r4v5: know much about turntables?
<r4v5> not *much*
<r4v5> i put an album on it and then move the arm over?
<r4v5> and jazz comes out?
<r4v5> but yeah, the main things i know are things like "if you take a 12" trance single and play it back at 33, it becomes a chillout single of longer length"
<myself248> bwaahahaha
<r4v5> you're laughing but it was pretty fucking amazing. Friend has crates full of techno; I was like "can I spin some?"
<r4v5> First one I grabbed was full of obnoxious high squeaks. switched to 33 and it was fat acid sounds. |
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