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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..108109110111112113114..596Next> |
#42665 (240/394) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dizzo> doesnt look like I'll be spending thanksgiving with family
<Dizzo> all they do is get on my ass about why im not in college right now anyway
<Dizzo> "Why aren't you getting your degree? You're like 21"
<Dizzo> "I don't know grandma, why aren't you dead? You're like 75"
<Dizzo> im glad im willing to settle for cranberry sauce in a can, because thats as happy as its gonna get
<Sephraem> wtf |
#40669 (240/338) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mookeh> Pf, I'm taking head from a guy who duct taped himself to a ceiling trying to replace a light bulb
<jez> wtf
<Oranz> WTF
<Mookeh> OMG, worst typo ever! I meant HEAT! |
#38458 (240/402) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Ade: Yesterday
Ade: After I got off the computer
Ade: I had the weirdest experience.
Ade: I went out to take a walk with my lemonade.
Ade: And I didn't notice the sign next to my house
Ade: Which was that they were slurrying the street and it had to dry.
Ade: I went out bare-foot like I usually do.
Ade: And totally got stuck to the cement.
Ade: So I was out there
Ade: For like an hour
Ade: And some worker had to pull me out.
Hidatoshi: hahahaha
Ade: Totally sucked.
Hidatoshi: that's the greatest thing ive ever heard
Chexee: Me too. |
#34992 (240/466) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Bolwerk> You know what's so great about the advance of WiFi internet? There used to be Internet pornography around you going through the wires all the time. Now the Internet pornography is literally being transmitted through you. George W. Bush must love the thought that binary data representing people fencing each other with their cocks is passing right through him all the time now. |
#34706 (240/438) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Blaine> so, who has seen the passion?
<Blaine> SPOILER ALERT
<Blaine> JESUS DIES AT THE END!Comment: #utopia
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#32949 (240/408) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* WakkoWrk is trying to figure out what the hell to do tonight
[Monkster] mom son sex?
[WakkoWrk] ahem
[WakkoWrk] fuck off.
[WakkoWrk] mom works tonight anywayComment: #chanfix on EFnet
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#30407 (240/378) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<BoB_JonEz> well its true
<BoB_JonEz> i think to get a comp sci degree you have to pass the tan test
<BoB_JonEz> if you have a tan, you fail |
#14509 (240/374) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Joe> Who invented l33t-speak?
<Evil_Lawn_Gnome> Joe, I did.
<milencho880> i invented it
<Joe> Really? Good. I always wanted to meet the world's biggest fucking idiots. |
#9117 (240/423) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mikado`> 128's were down to 70 1.5 months ago
<JohnnyBra> 1.5 months???
<JohnnyBra> when the hell did we start talking in decimals!
<mankindJB> 2.3 minutes ago |
#8684 (240/415) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Pryk> I am so fucking h0nry today, I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like someone is licking the crotch of my voodoo doll. |
#8300 (240/425) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kat-moffobsessing> why do dongs always gain length when played live?
<kat-moffobsessing> SONGS! |
#4408 (239/400) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MosServ> Katto: They will keep fighting, they think that dying in battle for their God is the greatest honor. But they also think they'll go to hell if they have pork in their stomach. Solution: Pork bullets. |
#2498 (240/415) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<puppet> a woman can fake an orgasm, but it takes a man to fake an entire relationship |
#958 (240/451) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(heck01) i sometimes dont know if i'm straight or not, then a cute girl sits down next to me and i get a huge erection and i remember |
#88 (240/466) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Infe> but if i ever hit a deer with my car i'll be damned if i don't try to finish it off, i'll need the food after all my money is fixing the car#@$#@ |
#300584 (239/427) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Matthew: It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook. We have 11 friends in common. I need new friends. |
#68143 (239/481) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<nul1o> this pedo sees a kid hanging around near the edge of the cliff crying
<nul1o> so he looks areound and cant see anyone else round
<nul1o> so he goes up and asks the kid whatsup
<nul1o> and hes like, my dog just died, and on the way to the funeral we were in a car crash
<nul1o> and my parents drove off the cliff, I just manged to escape
<nul1o> and the pedos like its not your lucky day is it
<Biomech> so did you help him? |
#56905 (239/449) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MrMiyagi> Do I seem gay to you?
<Jenna> no, vince..why?
<MrMiyagi> Well..I was watching pro wrestling and..I'm not talking like full fledged boner or nothin but.. |
#56224 (239/409) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mtrisk> damnit
<mtrisk> it was the wrong hole
<mtrisk> but it's still only half fixed
<mtrisk> wtf
<mtrisk> it only works when im touching it
<tpfusion> ...
<mtrisk> my _headphones_ damnit! |
#55591 (238/428) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Mattias: i still say i get a siren and tie it to my belly and get some deeeep pocket pants full of change. Then i walk past a hobo on the street and when he asks me for some spair change i am going to put the siren on and start throwing change at him yelling " YOU WON THE JACKPOT" |
#55184 (239/391) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jame5> A cop was waving me into a random breath test thing at the side of the road, and as I got closer he saw I was driving a volvo and just waved me on. |
#52463 (239/373) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DB> Oh god - what the fuck do they put in absinthe? i only had a couple and I feel like I've been raped by a camel..
<Rust_Bunny> It's meant to be taken orally .. |
#52405 (239/459) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<elfodox> so the boggle solver works... I'm going to set some high scores on web-boggle :)
<elfodox> it takes a while to parse the 3.6mb dictionary file :(
<elfodox> if my dad gets a supercomputer for his company, I'll use it to solve boggle at never-before imagined speeds :P
<fr_gment> At mind boggling speeds, perhaps? |
#51969 (239/397) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Retro> shit
* Retro just woke up
<Grath> Retro
<Grath> Why is it bad?
<Retro> I don't know
<Retro> but I'm not used to waking up, going to the bathroom to take a piss, and looking in the mirror to see my keyboard imprinted in my face |
#44913 (239/447) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<phrog> Light bulbs are not actually "light bulbs" but dark absorbers. When you turn them on, they suck the dark out of the room. You can prove this by holding your hand under a "light bulb". The dark will stack up under your hand where its path to the absorber is blocked by your hand. When they quit working and turn a dark color, it's not because they burnt out, it's because they're full. |
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