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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..364365366367368369370..596Next> |
#15905 (282/457) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(juslooken) i looked at the bouncer and said 'u dont need to see my id'
(juslooken) and he said 'i dont need to see your id
(juslooken) it was very jedi |
#15903 (174/336) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<HeatDeath> You should take care of your nipples. They may not seem important
now, but when you die, that's where the angels grab you. |
#15897 (186/369) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Mortaneous> Lyme... idiots of that caliber still exist
Mortaneous> I thought Darwinian evolution woulda killed em off the first time they attacked the toaster with a knife for eating their bread |
#15890 (-1/273) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
EpsilonII> Julia Roberts, Jessica Alba, and Angelina Jolie in the remake of "A Pack of Lips Now! |
#15886 (170/305) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
HalfShadow> Oh yeah. Ever see something so bad you wanted to go into fetal position?
seventhcrow> spice world |
#15878 (200/356) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ouroboros> The large print giveth, and the fine print taketh away. |
#15870 (168/308) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dabblerblue> i hate pants that are only comfortable when you're standing :(
<nzc> so takem off
<dabblerblue> i can't, i'm about to go out
<dabblerblue> i put them on so i could leave without being arrested
<dabblerblue> i hate that |
#15851 (40/226) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<NikeMan> Uuuuh, in 10 mins i'll be driving boat. And it's 9am
<NikeMan> Suckz
<Camus> I could drive if I wanted to but I don't feel like turning on my playstation.
<Fleebis> lol |
#15850 (71/263) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Po|2N`GotSex> ok everyone this is the most funniest thing that has happended to me in years....
<@Po|2N`GotSex> my g/f mom found out we fucked
<ownsya> lol
<@Po|2N`GotSex> and we sat and talked it out |
#15848 (236/390) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jabberwocky> I made a life-sized Battlemech out of legos. I would have taken over the city too, if I hadn't run out of 2x4s for autocannon rounds. |
#15841 (0/332) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Achan> Sanders, what does a car having sex sound like? |
#15840 (341/495) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Lyon> erll, i'm ogg yo trsf snf dlrrp
<Lyon> oops
<Lyon> well, i'm off to read and sleep
<Derian> looks like you need all the dlrrp you can get. |
#15839 (163/284) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Actaeon> Stupid three-dimensional universe.
<Violetnite> Better than a two dimensional universe.
<Actaeon> Well, depends on the dimensions.
<Actaeon> And really, it is a good/bad thing.
<Violetnite> What is the good and bad.
<Violetnite> Just curious.
<Actaeon> The three-dimensionality makes it so that I am seperated from people I meet on here by actualy traversable space. On the other hand, three dimensions are necessary for tits. So, guess I just have to deal. |
#15837 (50/295) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cochese04> Next time I'm at the pet store, I'm gonna take a hampster and drop it in the scorpion cage.
<cochese04> I wanna see what a hampster's face looks like when it goes, "oh, fuck." |
#15834 (171/327) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@redium> i have never had a condom break on me ever
<@redium> maybe the gas-station generic glow in the dark ones break.. but real ones dont
<+elf> ...glow in the dark ones...?
<+elf> how can you misplace your penis so badly that you need for it to glow?
<@redium> its the entertainment factor, not the visibility factor
<+elf> i see... |
#15832 (182/361) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TAOC> EVILPIE WILL LEAD US INTO A NEW AGE OF ENLIGHTMENT AND PEACE
<TAOC> somebody ban him |
#15826 (1/345) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<vqhmdragn> rawk!
<S4murai> exactly
<vqhmdragn> twat I cunt hear you I must have a ear infucktion, plz cum closer
<S4murai> I too have an ear infucktion butits ok, I have a pill to take every half whore
<vqhmdragn> I'm afriad I cunt afwhored such a pill :(
S4murai> a little less expenisive is a small prick to your finger. Tit's the Doctwhore's bill that'll clit you in the end.
<vqhmdragn> so twats up s4murai?
<S4murai> nut much, you?
<vqhmdragn> just chillin out
<vqhmdragn> wait, it's midnut, I just turned 18, that's twats up
<S4murai> really? that's ballsome!
<vqhmdragn> yea now I can buy cigs legaly, I cuntent bewhore |
#15825 (85/296) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Moogboy> That Quotes page is retarted
<Moogboy> Do you know how much of them are most likely completely fake?
<WeslyC> I hear ya man
<WeslyC> This is one of 'em.
<Moogboy> O_o |
#15822 (181/323) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<evilpie> P.S. oblique, since both you and your girlfriend live with your parents, how in the fuck do you manage to bang her?
<jre> It wasn't so much of a bang as a dull thud." |
#15817 (91/251) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RikisuuDelta> i'm glad my parents dont play quake, they'd frag my ass and tell me it's dinner time |
#15810 (119/261) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jon-> they need to put some quality warez and movies on microsoft.com
<Jon-> i get about 800k a sec from them |
#15798 (76/232) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<EnemyFC> can you feel the love i'm excreting from my pores?
<Cobra> I'm just glad you aren't excreting it from other places o_O |
#15792 (0/218) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dante> Removing the HD isn't a good idea. No guarantee I can put it back in...And no she has no idea where my pr0n is (Stashed at my grandmother's next door) |
#15791 (104/239) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Chrizto> one day someone on this channel will die and their last words
will be construed as irc laughter from their head slapping the keyboard on the way down. |
#15790 (39/207) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<catlike> SQUIRRELS TRY TO COPULATE ON MY BALCONY
<Dayv> You're just jealous.
<Dayv> You wish Chris was daring enough to copulate with you on the balcony.
<Dayv> But he is too busy reading nanog. |
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