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#34211 (7/283) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Heather> penises are scary =/
<Kevyn> how so?
<Heather> they feel weird.
<Kevyn> how do they feel?
<Heather> like the rubber lizard in spencer's. |
#34209 (268/448) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Pookablu> Ron Dwight, the author of the RAR compression format, passed away a few days ago.
<ev> he was found in several same-size pieces and had to be combined to put him in the coffin |
#34216 (209/371) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<slippy^> i am evi|
<mr-cow> what you done now?
<slippy^> well
<slippy^> i had a thought.
<slippy^> sat on my desk is a "clients" pc
<slippy^> would it be wrong of me to install something that screwed it every few months, thus insuring work?
* slippy^ installs win98 |
#34227 (204/398) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<NatashaD> Up until this last generation my family refused to breed outside of the german heretage. Then my dad told his mom to get bent and married an Irish woman.
<NatashaD> The Germans won't speak to us, and the Irish won't speak to the Germans, so everyone pretty much leaves us alone.
<NatashaD> I'm not sure what the problem is but because they're all stupid I don't mind not having to talk to them.
<Chris23m{ab}> lol VERY nice
<NatashaD> Except that none of them sent me graduation presents, those ungrateful bastards. |
#34225 (33/225) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(scone) r u always in here
(+kangie) im a citizen
(+kangie) thats why i have the +
(@Whelan) yeah but we have laptops with Wireless cards
(@Whelan) and we just walk around with them strapped to us that way we never have to leave |
#34223 (200/402) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<t|to> I practice being a bash.org mod by voting "negative" on all the quotes in the bash.cx queue |
#34219 (451/607) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<domenow> I'm gripping your cock hard
<ThAtGuy> i'm feeling your breasts
<ThAtGuy> my dick is getting really hard now
<domenow> yeah, mine too
<domenow> I mean... err. |
#34218 (319/493) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Slime> I think in ten years time I will look back on days like this and cry.
<Slime> The times I spent at 2am talking about girls who have dicks and legs made of slugs eating each other whilst melting.
<Slime> My future wife will be all "Tell me what you did as a teenager" and I will say "NOW IS TIME FOR SLEEP"
<MechaMrEd> And then you'll notice she has an erection |
#34201 (187/399) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Pie> i wonder if its possible to fap yourself with a 2000 watt speaker
<+Pie> ...brb
<+Death> o.O |
#34190 (205/361) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* rik decides not to reply to spam whose subject line is "discount vasectomy" |
#34188 (111/269) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BalefireX> how goes the porn site Peppe316[0]?
<Peppe316[0]> I'm getting my clientel up first
<error> does your mom know yet?
<Peppe316[0]> no
<Peppe316[0]> I haven't talked to her for 10 weeks
<Peppe316[0]> it's nice
<Peppe316[0]> this freedom shit is the fun
<error> was it because she found out you drank and you didn't love the lord?
<Peppe316[0]> possibly
<Peppe316[0]> :(
<Peppe316[0]> er
<Peppe316[0]> :)Comment: #gideontech
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#34187 (96/258) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<gorF> cool, I get viruses sent to my email as well as porn now
<Genki> heh
<gorF> what more could you want
<gorF> ...apart from actual messages
<SirLuke-X> Well, one of them is good.
<MadRhetoric> Porn an virii?
<MadRhetoric> A lethal mix.
<gorF> yeah, its like an electronic prostituteComment: #zebeth dreamIRC
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#34179 (-2/210) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ristora> http://phrise.com/?34177
<AnimeKiwi> hey
<AnimeKiwi> you edited :p
<Ristora> AnimeKiwi: It's the way the world works
<Ristora> CNN: Edited
<Ristora> Movies: Edited
<Ristora> Telling penis Size: Edited
<AnimeKiwi> lol
<AnimeKiwi> ristora is addicted to phrise
<AnimeKiwi> edit- <AnimeKiwi> ristora is addicted to cock |
#34176 (12/312) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rjx> what
<Rjx> ian curtis killed himself?
<timmo> rjx: yeah, a long ass time ago
<Rjx> I only found out kurt cobain died like 2 years ago
<timmo> ...
<timmo> youre not up on the news
<Rjx> no, I'm notComment: #GeekIssues EFNet (March 2004)
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#34181 (276/454) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Paradidle> I wonder what a dog thinks right before it humps someones leg... "I dont know what it is, but I'm gonna fuck it." |
#34158 (378/548) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Clutch> Anyone else notice that 'strap on' spelt backwards is 'no parts'?Comment: #gaming - gaming.windfyre.net - Feel thy spiff fool
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#34157 (141/347) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@skape> wonder what a cisco movie would be about
<@trew> "self protecting networks"
<@skape> THE ROUTER STRIKES BACK
<@skape> RETURN OF THE FDDI
<@trew> haha
<@skape> come on trew
<@skape> you think up one!
<@trew> BACK TO THE ROUTER!
<@trew> HONEY I SHRUNK THE IDS |
#34141 (140/304) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Josh> wow. my great-grandmother died :(
<serenade> sry
<serenade> feel better u
<Josh> well, on one hand I'm sad that she died
<Josh> on the other hand she was a total bitch that alienated the entire family and caused untold amounts of greif
<serenade> ah
<serenade> similar situation with my great grandma
<serenade> we wanted to speed things up, so we got her to start smoking
<serenade> she used to light the cigs backwards
<serenade> funny as hell |
#34140 (100/300) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@FarkStatsBot> think you need to reboot
<star_angel> i did that already
<star_angel> so bot
<@FarkStatsBot> did you restart the computer?
<star_angel> yeah
<@FarkStatsBot> still didn't fix it?
<star_angel> and when i did then knux was lordcrank
<@FarkStatsBot> you might have a virus
<star_angel> no i have a school pc i cant get viruses... but thanks |
#34139 (191/429) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Valeria> This is my computer. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My computer is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, as I must master my life.
<Valeria> Without me my computer is useless. Without my computer, I am useless. I must use my computer well. I must K-Line faster than my enemy who is trying to K-Line me.
<Valeria> I must pwn him before he pwns me. I will. Before God I swear this creed. My computer and myself are defenders of my server. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviours of my life. So be it .. . until there is no enemy ... but Microsoft. Amen. |
#34174 (385/497) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Guyp> my mom wont let me go to the gym
<Guyp> she thinks i'll look at girls and my mind will be sinning ;[
<Guyp> so i think i'll ask her if a gay gym is ok :> |
#34173 (151/335) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rykan> you know your lonely when your alone in a room with chanserv and just start talking to it XD
<Ras> Chanserv is a better conversationalist than any of my exxes
<Ras> and half the people on my base
<Ras> and im not kidding.Comment: #MxO stratics
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#34170 (1/283) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(iSONEWS) [iSONEWS] Update in DivX: My Life *CLASSIC* released by MEDiAMANiACS (49 files, 08/12/2001) www.isonews.com/r/?155D256CD=
(`Thunder) whoa
(`Thunder) they released my life
(`Thunder) how did they tape all that?! |
#34160 (191/341) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Blah_x> it says i am the computer administor
<trippah> i feel sorry for your pcComment: #php efnet
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#34159 (391/559) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rjx> so I'm sitting with some friends in college
<Rjx> and drinking some soup
<Rjx> and I say "hey, this soup is thicker than a norwegian"
<Rjx> and I look up
<Rjx> and there's this girl glaring at me
<Rjx> and I think "wait a minute"
<Rjx> so I say
<Rjx> "er du norsk?"
<Rjx> her: ja
<Rjx> oops.... |
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