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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..74757677787980..596Next> |
#310169* (?/25) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Zeuseus> let me sing you the song of my people
<Zeuseus> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<Psycho Gecko> Well, hopefully Queensland's having some decent weather for once
<Zeuseus> KILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
<Zeuseus> Killl it with FIRE!!!!!
<Zeuseus> aaaand *instrumental*Comment: Zeuseus is Australian.
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#310352* (?/23) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@julia> i panhandled when i had my own place and shit
<joelcrump> well i bought you the taco bell because you only had a 20 and it was late and i know how they can run low on small bills so i paid with 1s
<@julia> i dont see what that has to do with anything of being more of a humanitarian and chill ass nigga than nething
<@julia> sometimes i like panhandling not just for the $
<@julia> but for the social expermintation stigma
<@julia> u meet and talk to and come across and interact with ALOT of differnt ppl
<@julia> which is therapeutic to me in a sense because i have PTSD and social anxiety |
#310403* (?/19) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@xmc> go big-endian or go home |
#310469* (?/5) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<TheBadSpoon> facebook does suck
<TheBadSpoon> it's a very vapid experience, much like my life
<jared> Someone taped the turbo button down on your life. |
#310485* (?/11) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* {RiP}Nick sets mode: +h {uX}Ares
<%{uX}Ares> and i didn't even give you anything
* %{uX}Ares looks around and steals a stapler off someones desk and gives it to {RiP}Nick
* %{[DN]DarkReaper} goes to his desk and iss looking for a stampler
* %{[DN]DarkReaper} doesnt find the stampler
* %{uX}Ares begins whistling
<%{[DN]DarkReaper}> by the way what is stapler? |
#310502* (?/11) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Kyhz> hey gang let's go solve some mysteries
<@Kyhz> yaaaaaay
<mmu> Kyhz, you go into the basement with scrappy
<@Kyhz> now I'm wondering what japanese scooby doo would be like
<mmu> hdr, go on the roof with dumb blonde
<Hdr> It was Red Herring all along!
<@Kyhz> lol
<+DestinyFucker> shaggy is a hikkineet, who only has a dog as a friend
<mmu> fred is a lolicon
<+DestinyFucker> suddenly, he's recruited by the JIDF into their paranormal adventures squad
<+DestinyFucker> no
<+DestinyFucker> every other character is a girl
<+DestinyFucker> and scooby turns into a dog-girl
<mmu> apart from shaggy
<+DestinyFucker> yes
<mmu> SHAGGY BY NAME
<mmu> SHAGGY BY NATURE |
#310566* (?/3) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<the-amazi> !s man of steel 1080p
<P1RATEZ> how odd does it look to be searching for men of steel, when women of big breasts should be searched for more...
<P1RATEZ> !s Breast
-Beastly- + [1.7G] Big.Breasts.Are.Best.6.XXX.DVDRip.x264-TwistedDesires.tar + Gets: 0/21 + /msg Beast-Cj-87 xdcc send #31 +
-Beastly- + [1.6G] Big.Breasts.Are.Best.9.XXX.DVDRip.x264-TwistedDesires.tar + Gets: 17/22 + /msg Beast-Cj-127 xdcc send #45 +
-Beastly- + [1.6G] Big.Breasts.Are.Best.9.XXX.DVDRip.x264-TwistedDesires.tar + Gets: 5/22 + /msg Beast-Cj-32 xdcc send #34 + |
#310584* (?/5) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<BadSpoon> Tinder: where evolution drops off |
#310651* (?/5) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Orobas> IT FITS
<RedVixen> you got your finger in yer bum at last?
<Orobas> no I bought a hat
<RedVixen> ah. close enough.
<Orobas> and my head is notoriously large, so I'm happy about that
<RedVixen> *chuckles*
<Orobas> I'm going to get a picture of it now
<Jino> Your bum? |
#310752* (?/5) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<kish> i lost my virginity on international womens day |
#310762* (?/5) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Ganobrator> WOW
<@Ganobrator> FUCK YOU
<@Ganobrator> FUCK
<@Ganobrator> YOU
<@TooshiBot> Subscribe to Tooshi on Youtube at [...]Comment: From Twitch. No idea what prompted the bot response...
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#310782* (?/5) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<luper> i listen to this america life
<luper> when i am having a hard time going to sleep
<luper> and i fall asleep
<luper> :)
<luper> it is nice
<luper> thank you ira glass
<luper> but then it shifted those stories to a weird part of my brain
<luper> where i had a friend tell me, "luper, that was never me. that was an episode of this american life. you can't just mix the lives of your white friends with episodes of this american life"Comment: Ira Glass is the softspoken narrator of NPR's This American Life talk show
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#310799* (?/3) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* abzman listens to reports about Alabama refusing SSM licenses
* abzman waits for national guard to be called in
<pjustice> Selma II
<abzman> Electric Boogaloo
<muchomas> "I dare y'all to come down here and make me" |
#310840* (?/7) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<hockeyfag> bacon is nice.. bacon is friendly.. bacon won't leave you like a cheep whore in the middle of the night... bacon won't fuck your best friend while you're downstairs within earshot.. bacon is nice..
<TheEnigma> Bacon will listen to you when you need a friendly ear, dammit. Nevermind that bacon is without ears. This is unimportant. |
#310888* (?/9) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<qsuscs> > simple
<qsuscs> > SOAP
<krisfremen> hahaha
<krisfremen> no, I meant the API is simple
<krisfremen> but I see what you did there :P
<dx> soap means "Simple Object Access Protocol"
<qsuscs> dx: nah, not anymore
<qsuscs> because they noticed it's not actually simple
<krisfremen> more like.. SOrry Arse Protocol
<dx> that's a terrible acronym krisfremen
<krisfremen> eh... it was fun in my arse |
#310970* (?/11) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* HdkR trips and falls in front of a car
<HdkR> I've survived it once, I can do it again |
#311009* (?/21) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<DragonDream> I wonder if I have to much stuff open on my mac. The BD player is having a hard time keeping up
<Insti> No that's just the Mac man.
<rarely_upset> I'm the Mac man! ski-ba-bop-ba-dop-bop
<DragonDream> o.O |
#311037* (?/11) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<contra> you ever bring a piss jug to the clinic
<contra> and you're like I already collected a sample for you
<contra> cause this guy did
<contra> and now he left when they told him it wasn't valid
<contra> I could almost see the spaghetti coming out of his pockets
<contra> > tfw you thought you had to pee before you went in
<contra> > tfw you pissed in a Dasani bottle |
#311044* (?/19) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<x3l3tric> "Hey, I'm just here to let you know per court order that I'm on the sex offender registry. Can I make you a drink?"
<myself> that sounds like a great comedy bit if people could laugh at that stuff
<myself> landshark!
<x3l3tric> myself: If only anyone could laugh at anything anymore, it'd be such a better world.
<x3l3tric> Rather than, "You're a white guy using the word lynch? You're a racist." which has actually been said to me before
<[Saint]> Well, context is key. If you said it /while lynching someone/...
<x3l3tric> Oh no, of course not. It was after the lynching, during the reception |
#311094* (?/17) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[23:41] worstwish: !players
[23:41] VCCNR-: -> There are no players ingame.
[23:41] worstwish: .hi all
[23:42] VCCNR-: Admin> worstwish: hi all |
#311120* (?/11) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Commodus> Well, I've almost got a body.
<Commodus> But it has no arms.
<Commodus> Only shoulders.
<Sodel_the_V> Commodus: I choose to interpret that as a literal statement
about yourself
<Sodel_the_V> My night just got great
<Commodus> That would explain the quality of my art |
#311176* (?/19) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<gholms> Is it just me or does winload set itself as the default every single time it boots?
<fenrus02> what's winload?
<gholms> windows's bootloader
<fenrus02> oh. just you. i dont have that malware ;)Comment: #fedora-devel
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#311185* (?/11) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* Switches wants to shoot "paper launches" and rid the world of the crap...
<penguin42> 'Paper launches'? Is that like paper aircraft?
<Switches> I wish
<Switches> I wouldn't want to shoot them as paper planes are rather fun
<Switches> Nvidia "paper launched" the 1070, I'm just hoping to hell AMD don't pull more at the press event they have later
<Flannel> just don't use paper lasers on landing paper planes, or else it's a paper felony.
<SonikkuAmerica> Only a paper felony, Flannel? Does it land me in paper prison?
<Afrix> many paper cuts :o
<Flannel> Yes, SonikkuAmerica. And if you're unlucky, they might throw you to the paper tigers.
<SonikkuAmerica> Oh no, not the paper tigers!
<SonikkuAmerica> They will crush my bones with their paper teeth!
<Afrix> or send you to the paper work mines :O
<SonikkuAmerica> Gasp!
<SonikkuAmerica> Where I'll have to hack away mining paper coal for the rest of my life?!Comment: #ubuntu-offtopic on Freenode
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#311207* (?/19) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<osuka_> ShaRose I meant 140000 united stateses
<ShaRose> osuka_ then it's only a problem if you've got any oil
<osuka_> Fuck how do I get rid of it then
<ShaRose> be white
<osuka_> I assume my nationality makes me mexican regardless of skin color?
<ShaRose> how white are you
<osuka_> white enough that I wouldn't get shot by the police
<ShaRose> osuka_ describe what would happen if you are on a street. you see a police officer next to you, and a black man on the other side of the street. you grab the gun out of the officer's holster and shoot the black man on the other side of the street.
<ShaRose> if he high fives you, you are white enough
<osuka_> ShaRose he grabs the weapon from my hand and shoots the man again
<osuka_> then high fives me
<ShaRose> congrats you are white enough |
#311211* (?/25) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<king_crimson> has cuckbot learned anything new?
<cuckbot> i learned how to banish lust with tantric masterbationComment: cuckbot is a pyborg bot
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