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#18741 (76/245) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Bludshed> dang
<Bludshed> my eyes hurt today
<Bludshed> ive never had to sit at the computer with my sunglasses on
<Bludshed> before now...
#4170 (76/290) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<morte> Jesus Peanut Butter Cups: Little pieces of the Son of God in a milk chocolate cup! There's no wrong way to eat a Jesus!
#307789 (76/132) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Navi> I googled 5 a day and it suggested "5.79 x 10^-5 Hz"
#311122 (76/102) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Kit> Is anyone around who has my nude pics who can forward them to someone?
#2899 (76/262) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
*** hypr changes topic to '.'
<LkChaCha1> Ahh. . .hypr had his period. Must be that time of month.
#3681 (76/256) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<rivvah> dude, he's from montana or some shit. 17.50 would buy a new house
<Ouroboros> What's a house?
#14448 (76/223) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@harb> Andy: 01:16 < Danelope> http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=30319
<@kitten> JESUS FUCK
<@kitten> THERE ARE NOW SEVEN FUCKING POPUP WINDOWS
<@harb> Oh yeah.
<@harb> Andy uses IE.
<@harb> Sorry about that.
< Danelope> Hahaha.
< Danelope> IE is for cocksksksk.
<@harb> <cypher> I don't even see the popups anymore.
<@harb> <cypher> Just blonde. Brunette. Redhead.
< Danelope> <cypher> Just viagra, penis enlargement, 581% more cum.
#311162 (77/87) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<VesicantDerp> Is there a name for selling your blood plasma, then using that money to get super fucked up on a normal amount of booze while you're low on blood?
<SpaceMarine> no
<SpaceMarine> but there really should be
#6780 (76/205) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DaScott> I want to be in the @home commercials, when they interview the dorks that use it "I can sure download a ton of porn!"
#39804 (76/232) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* plugged sets topic in #php to 'why do programmers confuse christmas and halloween? because oct 31 = dec 25'Comment: Efnet #php
#14462 (76/224) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Breathe> I hurt my back last week, and it is still hurting. >:(
<SirPrux> Maybe you sprained a muscle
<SirPrux> I sprained a cucumber once
<@Breathe> ...
<SirPrux> man did it hurt
<@Breathe> you sprained a cucumber?
<huzyrdadi> I think he means he sprained his asshole /using/ a cucumber
#4233 (76/276) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<JoeyB> what would be better of a car to modify, a honda accord, or a toyota
corrola
<Focus2001> oh man'
<pagan> which is better, dog poop or cat poop?
<pagan> ;p
<coug_> LOL
#310153 (76/86) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Xaiier> I'm curious as to what a nuclear meltdown in space would be like
<scott_manley1> well there's no down
<scott_manley1> so it's more a melt
<Xaiier> oh right
#7322 (76/272) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<chris> Spit or Swallow?
<holly> both, I spit and let you swallow
#18850 (76/248) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ieatrocks> you know what i love?
<ieatrocks> WWJD
<ieatrocks> fuckin a
<ieatrocks> because
<ieatrocks> its all about how you think of jesus
<ieatrocks> so when im in a pinch
<ieatrocks> i say WWJD
<ieatrocks> and i think of jesus as a dope slinging disco dancing pimp ass mofo
<ieatrocks> and then i do it
<ieatrocks> jesus likes to kick things, slack off, and insult people
<ieatrocks> he and i would get along great
#18340 (76/240) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Greylark> the phrase "pet peeves" is one of my pet peeves
#302246 (75/131) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Fax> Yukio: did I tell you about my mutant power?
<Yukio> Fax: is it the ability to determine bra size with a single glance?
<Fax> where I can tell a woman's cup/bust size wi-...
<Fax> ...
<Fax> you take all the fun out of everything ever :C
#181 (76/398) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(topanga) I HATE HAVING COMPUTER DREAMS.
#15798 (76/232) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<EnemyFC> can you feel the love i'm excreting from my pores?
<Cobra> I'm just glad you aren't excreting it from other places o_O
#67775 (76/210) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<turtlexiv> do you know of a built-in function to strip out possible extra info from the filename? i need to escape all back slash and forward slashes
<espantoso> back slash, forward slash, escape... sounds like OJ Simpson
#17093 (76/234) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<phr0id> anyone have e-txr2.001?, im on 56k
<juntog> that's like asking "anyone want to have sex? I have aids!"
#29648 (76/296) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Huzzler> chmod 777 kouha
<Huzzler> Now I can make you do stuff for me :-)
<Factotum> 777?!? You slut!
<Huzzler> Yeah!
<Huzzler> Execute him :-)
<Factotum> ./kouha
<kouha> Hi. I'm Kouha version 0.456 beta. Rape me.
#52688 (76/238) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Mal> OK, so one of the guys we hired for Christmas was telling us a story from his last job yesterday...
<Mal> A bunch of senior management guys came down for the weekend, and took some junior management guys (store managers and stuff) out camping.
<Mal> So they're out there in the bush and they're doing a bonding exercise where they skin kangaroos they've shot.
<Mal> They're busy getting drunk that night when the senior guys chip in $25 and dare one of the junior guys to fuck one of the skinned kangaroos. He refuses, they up the ante to $50, and he fucking does it. Fucks a skinned kangaroo.
<Mal> The guy wakes up the next morning in his tent, and the skinned kangaroo he fucked the night before has been put in the sleeping bag beside him. Not only did this poor bastard fuck a dead, skinless kangaroo, he then slept with it!
<Wad_S> LOL, that's awesome! Where'd he work?
<Mal> That's the best part.
<Mal> He worked at Burger King.
#46290 (76/158) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Tigs> i used to try not to swear
<Tigs> then one day i thought
<Tigs> Fuck it
#297171 (77/185) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<bigman> dude, i just drew a bunch of cocks all over my textbook
<bigman> like whenever someone is standing, there would be a penis there in front of their face
<razor> isn't that kinda gay...
<bigman> only if they're male
<razor> no, i mean the fact that you enjoy drawing penises
<razor> you're like the guy from superbad who couldn't stop drawing dicks
<razor> and you think you're the next best thing because you're drawing them in peoples' faces?
<bigman> dude, that's low
<bigman> i'm gonna take our old yearbook and draw a big schlong where your mouth is
<razor> ...
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