QDB: Bottom of the Barrel
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

#39804 (76/232) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* plugged sets topic in #php to 'why do programmers confuse christmas and halloween? because oct 31 = dec 25'Comment: Efnet #php
#4233 (76/276) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<JoeyB> what would be better of a car to modify, a honda accord, or a toyota
<Focus2001> oh man'
<pagan> which is better, dog poop or cat poop?
<pagan> ;p
<coug_> LOL
#310153 (76/86) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Xaiier> I'm curious as to what a nuclear meltdown in space would be like
<scott_manley1> well there's no down
<scott_manley1> so it's more a melt
<Xaiier> oh right
#7322 (76/272) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<chris> Spit or Swallow?
<holly> both, I spit and let you swallow
#5533 (76/234) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<gobi> djcrom: most guys would prolly jump on it and put a bag over her head if nothing else
<djcrom> if anything you'd need like 15 condoms tho
<gobi> djcrom: or a full body condom
<djcrom> don't get herpes, get glad (tm)
#18850 (76/248) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ieatrocks> you know what i love?
<ieatrocks> WWJD
<ieatrocks> fuckin a
<ieatrocks> because
<ieatrocks> its all about how you think of jesus
<ieatrocks> so when im in a pinch
<ieatrocks> i say WWJD
<ieatrocks> and i think of jesus as a dope slinging disco dancing pimp ass mofo
<ieatrocks> and then i do it
<ieatrocks> jesus likes to kick things, slack off, and insult people
<ieatrocks> he and i would get along great
#302246 (76/130) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fax> Yukio: did I tell you about my mutant power?
<Yukio> Fax: is it the ability to determine bra size with a single glance?
<Fax> where I can tell a woman's cup/bust size wi-...
<Fax> ...
<Fax> you take all the fun out of everything ever :C
#181 (76/398) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
#15798 (76/232) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<EnemyFC> can you feel the love i'm excreting from my pores?
<Cobra> I'm just glad you aren't excreting it from other places o_O
#67775 (76/210) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<turtlexiv> do you know of a built-in function to strip out possible extra info from the filename? i need to escape all back slash and forward slashes
<espantoso> back slash, forward slash, escape... sounds like OJ Simpson
#17093 (76/234) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<phr0id> anyone have e-txr2.001?, im on 56k
<juntog> that's like asking "anyone want to have sex? I have aids!"
#309708 (75/97) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Mich is now known as mich
<TB> Little mich
<TB> I don't understand the need to change from M to m
<Tibby> he ran into a goomba
#29648 (76/296) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Huzzler> chmod 777 kouha
<Huzzler> Now I can make you do stuff for me :-)
<Factotum> 777?!? You slut!
<Huzzler> Yeah!
<Huzzler> Execute him :-)
<Factotum> ./kouha
<kouha> Hi. I'm Kouha version 0.456 beta. Rape me.
#52688 (76/238) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mal> OK, so one of the guys we hired for Christmas was telling us a story from his last job yesterday...
<Mal> A bunch of senior management guys came down for the weekend, and took some junior management guys (store managers and stuff) out camping.
<Mal> So they're out there in the bush and they're doing a bonding exercise where they skin kangaroos they've shot.
<Mal> They're busy getting drunk that night when the senior guys chip in $25 and dare one of the junior guys to fuck one of the skinned kangaroos. He refuses, they up the ante to $50, and he fucking does it. Fucks a skinned kangaroo.
<Mal> The guy wakes up the next morning in his tent, and the skinned kangaroo he fucked the night before has been put in the sleeping bag beside him. Not only did this poor bastard fuck a dead, skinless kangaroo, he then slept with it!
<Wad_S> LOL, that's awesome! Where'd he work?
<Mal> That's the best part.
<Mal> He worked at Burger King.
#46290 (76/158) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Tigs> i used to try not to swear
<Tigs> then one day i thought
<Tigs> Fuck it
#297171 (76/184) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<bigman> dude, i just drew a bunch of cocks all over my textbook
<bigman> like whenever someone is standing, there would be a penis there in front of their face
<razor> isn't that kinda gay...
<bigman> only if they're male
<razor> no, i mean the fact that you enjoy drawing penises
<razor> you're like the guy from superbad who couldn't stop drawing dicks
<razor> and you think you're the next best thing because you're drawing them in peoples' faces?
<bigman> dude, that's low
<bigman> i'm gonna take our old yearbook and draw a big schlong where your mouth is
<razor> ...
#16857 (76/214) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<roman> as soon as i wake up, i'm going to the atm to get 200 bucks..
<roman> then i'm ordering a whore
<foobar> haha roman no you're not
<roman> dude, i called one today and she was like "do you need company for tonight?" and i was like "well, maybe" and she was like "for 200, i stay an hour and a half, we get naked and we get nasty"
<roman> you order them like pizza, dude
#8924 (76/248) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<un2> should i just settle for a bmw?
<Gen`Aku> settle settle?!?!?1
<Gen`Aku> don't use the word settle and bmw in the same sentance
<Gen`Aku> unless it's about the dust settling
<Gen`Aku> BITCH
#20459 (76/230) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<deathazre> somebody stole twish's vanilla cock
<deathazre> er, coke
<deathazre> ^_^
<TheOrgasmicMe> mmm vanilla cock
<whatboy> maybe it was missy elliot
<whatboy> o.O
<TheOrgasmicMe> if cock tasted like vanilla i would be gay
#4077 (76/263) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BombScare> i need to get my eyes lasered
<eldee> ditto.. 2k per eye though
<eldee> i'm saving my money for something i wont take for granted though :)
<enos> i don't trust that eye laser surgery yet
<enos> it'd be sweet tho to not need glasses or contacts
<BombScare> i have an aunt that had it done, she loves it
<BombScare> like 20 seconds and you can see
<eldee> BombScare: damn.. i dont even think jesus was that fast
<eldee> god bless america!
<eldee> or something
<BombScare> hah
#18161 (76/236) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tbone22> today is my housemate's bday...what should i buy him...he just turned 23
<Dirge> a big fat penisdildo
<tbone22> he's hetero
<tbone22> (are there other kinda of dildos?)
#28671 (76/288) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jayr```> my patience to those who are disabled like you
<rbastic_> You have the linguistic capabilities of a fetus.
#39172 (77/193) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<X-G> Yay, I wrote a todo list
<X-G> Now I can procrastinate more efficiently!
#2574 (77/293) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<blazemore> i don't even know who the beatles are
<blazemore> except for jay leno and that other guy that just died
#2576 (77/247) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dregan> Speaking of which, I got myself a new girlfriend.
<dregan> And she has a bigger dick than my last boyfriend.
<dregan> Skillz.
save page | share <Prev1..588589590591592593

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
14,824 quotes approved; 8,756 fermenting; karma: 189.6245