QDB: Bottom of the Barrel
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

#25330 (75/217) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Kethry> Leida, you're more than a trend now
<Leida> what am i now? what can there possibly be above a trend?
<Sensai-Sakiya> god? immortal? person worshiped by all?
<Leida> you are all worshipping me?
<Ibaimendi> I never realized the line between abuse and worship was so thin.
#28664 (75/271) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sight^> crap
<Sight^> I just got a D in spanish today
<Sight^> ever since I gave up drugs my spanish grades has been only D's and E's
#304639 (75/143) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sebas> I still want to start a stoner metal band because it's so damn easy
<Sebas> The guitarist gets 40 seconds to find the next chord, the drummer has to stick to like 5bpm, the bassist just fuzzes about a bit, and you slap tons of distortion on the vocals
<al> Bach would be proud
<Sebas> Only if he were around in our day and age
<Sebas> Bach to the Future
<nwagers> for the record, that was terrible
<Sebas> One might even say it was the vinyl straw?
#50435 (76/252) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Panther: Play Civ4 until my eyes bleed.
Panther: Then wash them out and play some more.
Xeno: ...
Xeno: =( damn all I'm gonna do is have tons of sex eat pizza and watch anime..
Panther: X.x
Panther: You win.
Xeno: ::bow::
#2820 (76/239) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[Lord-Data] hell, woudlnt mind a girlfriend
[Duckarse] ditto
[incorrect] there's always ebay
#19205 (76/256) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<MafiaItaliana> do you remember the first time you got head?
<chrystopher2001> Yeah...
<MafiaItaliana> how long did it take for him to cum?
<chrystopher2001> shit...i lasted a long time
<MafiaItaliana> bet your mouth got tired eh?
<chrystopher2001> huh? wait a minute...
#1543 (76/260) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Amanda> I remember being in Europe
<Amanda> and I'd call shaft from payphones to ask if we'd gotten the channel back yet
#309512 (75/93) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< elliott> As mentioned in the outline history section a French artillery officer by the name of Nicholas Cugnot (1729-1804) made a steam three-wheeler intended for military use in 1769. This was arguably the first 'motor vehicle' although the small boiler could carry only enough water for a fifteen minute run and the maximum speed was about 4mph.
< elliott> In spite of these limitations on his first road trial of the three wheeler machine, making him arguably the first motorist, M. Cugnot hit a wall, becoming the first motorist to have an accident, and after several more experiments he scored the hat trick by becoming the first person to be arrested and imprisoned for dangerous driving.
#24078 (76/216) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<whitcomb> i somehow get the feeling that listening to the cure and looking at porn is very, very wrong
#26385 (76/214) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
([m1]) so there i was, at the porcelain boardroom, initiating another
"round of layoffs"
([m1]) and the laptop battery warning popped up
([m1]) never wiped and washed so fast
([m1]) the things i do to keep from losing a network connection
#33813 (76/304) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<motolov> why arent the fat girls honest at least
<motolov> like, hobbies: eating, stuffing my face until my colon hurts
<motolov> etc.
#44065 (76/220) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<sirveaux> so here is my take on just one aspect of intarweb politics:  AOLers
<sirveaux> (AOLer) The other day, a I and a chum of mine were in the middle of an intellectual debate pertaining to the German spelling reform of 1996 and its ramifications when--
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer) omg dude r u liek an AOHELLER?/
<sirveaux> (AOLer) Why, yes I am, and--
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer) omg lolollol
<sirveaux> AOLer was kicked by nonAOLer (leik omg aohel si 4 faggerts)
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer2) rofflekopter
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer) lest go fap to screnns of linix
<sirveaux> (nonAOLer2) well lemme grab sum lube, wud u
#2084 (76/231) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sharkey> When you talk to your cactus at the end of the quest he says "He got hard?"
<kill> at least you wouldn't have to water a cactus
<kill> it's pretty low-maintenance, if you got one
<Starchild> That's my ideal adopted kid. One you don't have to water or feed.
<kill> you just have to cloth it
<DigiGnome> And you don't even have to do that, as long as you don't let it out of its room.
#20268 (76/289) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Bloodshedder> torn's feeble mind cannot understand what we are saying
<ph`> I agree with torn
#54830 (76/300) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DesScorp> mmmmm
<DesScorp> chinese food
<DesScorp> don't know what I ate
<DesScorp> but it was good
<DesScorp> buffet!
<DesScorp> 83 different items!
<DesScorp> (82 of them probably some form of chicken)
<DesScorp> (I hope)
<KArmA> cooked cat looks remarkably like chicken
<DesScorp> so
<DesScorp> I can say I ate pussy then
<KArmA> you ate dead pussy
<KArmA> in a thick, gravy-like sauce
#3887 (76/265) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<KNG_SNK> ok i was at work today
<KNG_SNK> and two ppl were missing...
<KNG_SNK> and this guy's office was locked
<KNG_SNK> but i knew there was someone in there... VERY quiet too
<KNG_SNK> so me and some buds went over to the next building
<KNG_SNK> to try to peek in
<KNG_SNK> and man... they were goin at it
<KNG_SNK> but we could clearly see humping action
#18741 (76/245) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Bludshed> dang
<Bludshed> my eyes hurt today
<Bludshed> ive never had to sit at the computer with my sunglasses on
<Bludshed> before now...
#4170 (76/290) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<morte> Jesus Peanut Butter Cups: Little pieces of the Son of God in a milk chocolate cup! There's no wrong way to eat a Jesus!
#307789 (76/132) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Navi> I googled 5 a day and it suggested "5.79 x 10^-5 Hz"
#308049 (76/108) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> you can talk a population into going to war or domestic surveillance
<@Rjx> but free healthcare and legalizing harmless plants
<@Rjx> not quite as easy
#2899 (76/262) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
*** hypr changes topic to '.'
<LkChaCha1> Ahh. . .hypr had his period. Must be that time of month.
#3681 (76/256) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<rivvah> dude, he's from montana or some shit. 17.50 would buy a new house
<Ouroboros> What's a house?
#14448 (76/223) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@harb> Andy: 01:16 < Danelope> http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=30319
<@kitten> JESUS FUCK
<@harb> Oh yeah.
<@harb> Andy uses IE.
<@harb> Sorry about that.
< Danelope> Hahaha.
< Danelope> IE is for cocksksksk.
<@harb> <cypher> I don't even see the popups anymore.
<@harb> <cypher> Just blonde. Brunette. Redhead.
< Danelope> <cypher> Just viagra, penis enlargement, 581% more cum.
#311162 (76/86) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<VesicantDerp> Is there a name for selling your blood plasma, then using that money to get super fucked up on a normal amount of booze while you're low on blood?
<SpaceMarine> no
<SpaceMarine> but there really should be
#6780 (76/205) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DaScott> I want to be in the @home commercials, when they interview the dorks that use it "I can sure download a ton of porn!"
save page | share <Prev1..588589590591592593Next>

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
14,824 quotes approved; 8,756 fermenting; karma: 189.6240