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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..57585960616263..596Next> |
#305136* (?/32) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
I wanted to call myself an Humanist, but I could only a few humans at a time. I objectified the humans I worshiped and may not have respected them adequately, so I decided that I was more of a De-Humanist. Apparently, De-Humanism can help repair the Human Subconscious due to a Human Irrationality: People are more likely to respond to Just One Woobie, than to an entire Genocide or Cultural Problem. |
#305141* (?/36) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
And then Heavenly Father screwed Mormonism and became a Roman Catholic Playa... |
#305156* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Disclaimer: I am not sure Sauron or whoever that actor was, was the Eleventh Agent of Cracked. |
#305161* (?/36) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
I found myself fascinated by the song 'Feeling Good' by Muse, because it seemed to project a sense of doom. |
#305164* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Dear Greg Gutfeld,
Thanks for the imaginary friend. How do I shut it up?
DonnaSimpson |
#305165* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Not that Greg Gutfeld is necessarily responsible for either Edward Cullen... |
#305166* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Moot: I WANT TO BE FAMOUS!!!
Mixelica: I'd rather be rich... |
#305175* (?/36) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Hypothesis:
Series Fnarg: Karen Gillan
Series Shag: Amy Pond
Series Sparks: Alice in Wonderland |
#305178* (?/48) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Marenz> ppl becoming less
<tg> omg
<tg> so we can use them as pager for long outputs? ;]
<Marenz> ... I have no words to answer to that.
<tg> :D |
#305184* (?/32) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Disclaimer: The following text is a work of fiction.
The Cast of the ''Jersey Shore''! Brought to you by... The Stonehenge Familiy! Who's a cute little British Edward Cullen! Who as nice strong tee-OW!!! |
#305189* (?/36) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Disclaimer: The following text is a work of fiction.
The Cast of the ''Jersey Shore''! Brought to you by... The Stonehenge Family! Who's a cute little British Edward Cullen! Who as nice strong tee-OW!!! |
#305190* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Disclaimer: The following text is a work of fiction.
The Cast of the ''Jersey Shore''! Brought to you by... The Stonehenge Family! Who's a cute little British Edward Cullen! Who has nice strong tee-OW!!! |
#305256* (?/44) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
WHO DAT, DAT BEAT DA SAINTS
ANYBODY, ANYBODY |
#305295* (?/32) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
links/go.txt;25;25Comment: USA
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#305307* (?/32) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
HIS/HER NAME IS *ANYTHING* MARTIN
THEY SMELL LIKE THEY'VE BEEN FARTIN' |
#305405* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
You can tell by the way I stroke my cawk
I'm the Fapperman, no time to tawk |
#305522* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
I got nothing done today And yet I never got to do nothing -Richard Flynn |
#305576* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<pironic> fuck... gtg... i work for a bank, the banking software just went offline
<PhonicUK> lol kk
* pironic has quit (Quit: gone sucka!)
<PhonicUK> that's going on QDBComment: #McMyAdmin on EsperNet
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#305582* (?/52) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Very nice post, good luck! ;-)Comment: USA
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#305710* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Serithi> Sirkill is a fogot
<Serithi> lmao
<Serithi> in #outside
<SigmaPhi> omg so meen
<Serithi> he said it first
<Serithi> [15:44] <%Sirkill> i fogot
<Serithi> QF f***ing T
<DF> hmhmmmmmmmm
<SigmaPhi> >f***ing
<SigmaPhi> >censorship
<SigmaPhi> >you'regay
<Serithi> >f***ing
<Serithi> >not spacing
<Serithi> >you're a testicle
<SigmaPhi> >implying it wasn't on purpose
<SigmaPhi> >smd
<Serithi> all right all right
<Serithi> no need to get
<Serithi> testy
<Serithi> LOLOLOLOL
<SigmaPhi> I actually laughed
* SigmaPhi clap
* Serithi bowsComment: In case you can't figure it out, "Testy" and "Teste" sound the same.
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#305878* (?/44) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[+KurataSayuri] helix
[+KurataSayuri] can you translate
[+KurataSayuri] jap-eng
[+KurataSayuri] no, right?
[@[Helix]] …
[@[Helix]] i feel like you’re insulting me
[+KurataSayuri] okay fine then
[+KurataSayuri] helix, are you able to contribute useful information
[+KurataSayuri] towards the management and operation
[+KurataSayuri] of a fortune 500 company?
[@[Helix]] uhhh
[@[Helix]] sure
[+KurataSayuri] that’s not a very confident answer, helix
[@[Helix]] sure it is
[@[Helix]] …
[+KurataSayuri] anyways
[+KurataSayuri] looking at your resume
[+KurataSayuri] you’re a ryerson student
[+KurataSayuri] why not a better school, such as mcgill or u of t?
[@[Helix]] cuz i was lazy
[+KurataSayuri] that’s not the type of attitude that we would like for a consultant
[+KurataSayuri] do you have any redeeming features to cover this laziness?
[&Shini-tan] he has none
[@[Helix]] STOP IT
[@[Helix]] SHINI
[@[Helix]] STOP IT
[@[Helix]] ahem
[@[Helix]] i have
[+KurataSayuri] well, I’ll ignore that outburst for now
[+KurataSayuri] go on
[@[Helix]] a lot of redeeming features
[&Shini-tan] he can make pretty graphics
[&Shini-tan] that’s about it
[@[Helix]] STOP IT
[&Shini-tan] what
[@[Helix]] I SAID STOPPP IT
[&Shini-tan] there was a compliment this time
[@[Helix]] =_=
[+KurataSayuri] please, I’m trying to conduct an interview here
[+KurataSayuri] for all I know, I’m about to recruit a valued employee
[@[Helix]] why are you called hats
[+KurataSayuri] I was unaware that I needed to justify my actions
[+KurataSayuri] this is an interview, after all
[@[Helix]] i was just curious
[+KurataSayuri] curiousity
[+KurataSayuri] an interesting personality trait
[+KurataSayuri] how would you say that this benefits you as an individual?
[@[Helix]] uh
[@[Helix]] it makes me more motivated to learn
[+KurataSayuri] okay so
[+KurataSayuri] motivation to learn
[+KurataSayuri] while certainly a useful trait
[+KurataSayuri] how is this relevant to you giving other people advice?
[@[Helix]] uh
[@[Helix]] you’ll find out if you hire me
[&Shini-tan] …
[+KurataSayuri] well
[&Shini-tan] helix is this why you don’t have a job
[+KurataSayuri] what do you believe you can contribute towards the company?
[@[Helix]] no
[@[Helix]] anything u want
[+KurataSayuri] are you able to increase revenues a hundredfold within the first week of your employment?
[@[Helix]] yes
[+KurataSayuri] we have a 100% market share in our current industry
[+KurataSayuri] how do you propose you will accomplish that?
[@[Helix]] uh
[@[Helix]] you’ll find out if you hire me
[+KurataSayuri] what is your desired position?
[+KurataSayuri] you failed to indicate on on your application
[@[Helix]] i’d like to be the ceo of your company
[+KurataSayuri] the shareholders elect the ceo
[@[Helix]] no they dont
[@[Helix]] dont lie to me
[+KurataSayuri] okay so uh
[+KurataSayuri] what is your desired salary?
[+[Helix]] uh
[+[Helix]] 500k sounds ok to start with
[+[Helix]] i wish ebgames was hiring
[+KurataSayuri] well
[+KurataSayuri] that’s an interesting point
[+[Helix]] such an easy job..
[+KurataSayuri] why did you pick our firm over eb games?
[+[Helix]] i didn’t
[+KurataSayuri] helix, why did you show up to this job interview
[+[Helix]] i didn’t
[+KurataSayuri] in which case
[+KurataSayuri] why are you here
[+[Helix]] you came to me
[+KurataSayuri] you’ve passed the intellectual test, then
[+KurataSayuri] so why do you feel that you deserve $500 000 per year?
[+[Helix]] cause i’m helix
[+KurataSayuri] and a starting salary of, to boot?
[+Nored] you know
[+KurataSayuri] I’m sorry, your reputation fails to precede you
[[+[Helix]] no it doesn’t
[+[Helix]] dont lie to me
[+KurataSayuri] moving on
[+KurataSayuri] we are unable to use someone with your
[+KurataSayuri] …
[+KurataSayuri] well
[+KurataSayuri] simply put
[+KurataSayuri] I have no idea what you are qualified to do
[+[Helix]] like i said
[+[Helix]] i can do anything
[+KurataSayuri] do you have any references?
[+[Helix]] irrevelent
[+KurataSayuri] I’m sorry?
[+[Helix]] nored can vouch for me
[+KurataSayuri] nored is of questionable moral character
[+[Helix]] uh
[+KurataSayuri] I’m afraid that his standing among society
[+[Helix]] well
[+[Helix]] there’s..
[+KurataSayuri] is insufficient to serve as reference
[+[Helix]] veng can
[+[Helix]] vouch for me
[+KurataSayuri] your reference appears to be unavailable
[+KurataSayuri] do you have another?
[+[Helix]] um
[+[Helix]] blah can also vouch for me
[+KurataSayuri] he appears to be unavailable as well
[+[Helix]] uh
[+[Helix]] i’ll just go with everyone else
[+[Helix]] in this room
[+KurataSayuri] I see
[+KurataSayuri] is anyone here able to vouch for the quality of helix’s work?
[+Nored] i can
[+[Helix]] see
[+KurataSayuri] I see
[+[Helix]] everyone else is afk
[+KurataSayuri] well, while the value of your testament is questionable, I will accept it
[+[Helix]] damn right you will
[+[Helix]] i mean
[+[Helix]] uh
[+Nored] why do i have a sample of weed
[+Nored] wtf
[+KurataSayuri] well now
[+KurataSayuri] given that he is apparently a drug addict
[+[Helix]] …
[+KurataSayuri] his reference is considered worthless for the purposes of this firm
[+[Helix]] nored what have you done
[+Nored] its a sample
[+Nored] how am i an addict
[+KurataSayuri] our firm has extremely strict moral standards
[+KurataSayuri] we have a zero-tolerance policy on drugs
[+KurataSayuri] regardless, helix, you appear to be lacking references
[+KurataSayuri] and so, regardless of the quality of your character
[+KurataSayuri] I’m afraid that we are unable to hire you
[+[Helix]] liar
[+KurataSayuri] if you had positive references from reputable individuals
[+KurataSayuri] I would be glad to reconsider
[+[Helix]] fine
[+[Helix]] i don’t want to join you guys anywaysComment: Job Interview for a Scanlation Group
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#305880* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Kodaichi> somehow, everyone I hate seems to mysteriously disappear from my life...
<Risugami> what if you had gay rabbits?
<Kodaichi> Risugami, well they aren't too smart so they might make mistakes |
#305913* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
If you aren't happy with your life, change things until you are... if you can't change something, change your attitude about it.
~ Ingrid Weir |
#305939* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(2011-04-03 15:47:57) aPTforum .com: [jcsimoes.mail] pera lá que há um prob tecnico qlqr
(2011-04-03 15:48:02) andpt: LOL
(2011-04-03 15:48:06) aPTforum .com: [jcsimoes.mail] e n mostra
(2011-04-03 15:48:06) aPTforum .com: [jcsimoes.mail] que isto devia me mostrar o telem ligado ao pc
(2011-04-03 15:48:07) andpt: PEBCAK ?
(2011-04-03 15:48:10) aPTforum .com: [jcsimoes.mail] oh estuupido
(2011-04-03 15:48:14) aPTforum .com: [jcsimoes.mail] liguei á impressora
(2011-04-03 15:48:15) andpt: sim
(2011-04-03 15:48:16) aPTforum .com: [jcsimoes.mail] em vez de ao PC :PComment: androidPT
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#305967* (?/36) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
noobscratcher: your dad sucks he uses cocoa instead of c++ to write code because mac is easier to use
HelgeSverre: lol geek fights are funny
noobscratcher: lol
HelgeSverre: your mom sucks so much she use win32 API's
noobscratcher:
noobscratcher: QT fails
HelgeSverre: QT ftw!
noobscratcher: wxwidgets ftw
HelgeSverre: I use Code::Blocks 10.05, Notepad++, Visual Basic 2010(pirated for lolz) maguma studio(php)
noobscratcher: i do ruby code inside notepad++
noobscratcher: microsoft visual c++ for most c++ applications but im thinking of switching to code::blocks
HelgeSverre: What IDE do you use faggzet ?
HelgeSverre: lol..
noobscratcher: im drinking rootbear
noobscratcher: lol
HelgeSverre: real men write BEER!
noobscratcher: okay so what a video editor then?
HelgeSverre: games are for pussys
HelgeSverre: or ... HAHA!
noobscratcher: mate go make a 3d opengl game engine then come back to me
HelgeSverre: i know HTML, a bit of CSS, Batch(oh yes batch), python, java, c++, visual basic AND fortran so fuck you!
noobscratcher: nice one helge but i kno how to write text in ruby html and c++ and always could learn others lol god i brag to much i honestly am proud of you man
HelgeSverre: while ( noobscratcher == faggot) { remove(noobscratcher) } return 0;
noobscratcher: #include <iostream> using namespace std; int main () { cout<< "hello world" return 0; }
HelgeSverre: http : / / cachedump . webs. com/ programming / suck it up
HelgeSverre: noobscratcher
noobscratcher: im the biggest geek in the world i know how to write a simple c++ application
## Start reading from here and read upwards(lol?) ##Comment: Read from the bottom-up -- OverTheGun.com
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