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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..512513514515516517518..596Next> |
#47140 (29/135) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Hezzy> i am going to give my girlfriend attention
<+Knifa> "attention"
<+Knifa> ...secks?
<@Hezzy> no
<@Hezzy> and she isn't very impressed by that comment Knifa, she is sitting next to me
<+Knifa> :(
<+Knifa> hi hezzy's girlfriend.
<@garry> sitting next to you stinking like a trout farm
<@Hezzy> :o
<@Hezzy> jahjahaaj
<@Hezzy> she hates you all
<@Hezzy> because of garry's comment just then
<@Hezzy> THANKS GUYS
<@Hezzy> NOW SHE'S NOT GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME TONIGHT
<@Hezzy> TALK ABOUT COCKBLOCK |
#51198 (29/363) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Enjoi> I'm not going to stop a drug habit just because my life is getting in the way. |
#275608* (?/53) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<chi> get him spacejunk
<spacejunk> OK
*** mode/#penguinslair [+b *!*@zentoo.cc] by spacejunk
*** chi was kicked from #penguinslair by spacejunk [we get it, you're whiny.]
<segin> Trying to see if it was a good thing to do server-side pages in Tcl
<spacejunk> :D
* segin hides |
#298784 (29/165) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Triented> Let's make a movie that's the same feel of Oceans 11.
<Triented> Except instead of us breaking into a casino to steal cash...
<Triented> We'll break into Dynamix's abandoned office building to steal the Starsiege Tribes Source Code.Comment: TRIBES FOREVER
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#301389* (?/59) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* jeanniecool was at eTech in San Diego in, um, 2004
<jeanniecool> And I was nervous about meeting a whole bunch of people from our channel, so I'm talking about it outside with a friend, having a smoke before going in to the bar.
<jeanniecool> Some guys walk by us as we're talking and get into a car,
<jeanniecool> right as my friend says, "Why are you so nervous?? You're jeanniecool!"
<jeanniecool> I roll my eyes/stick out my tongue/something appropriate - and one of the guys in the car gets back out,
<jeanniecool> walks back to us and says, "You're jeanniecool?" and sticks out his hand out, introducing himself.
<jeanniecool> Turned out *he* was Stewart Butterfield, and late one night in the hotel lobby he showed me the first version of Flickr (before open beta), AND gave me the best foot massage I've ever had in my entire life.
<jeanniecool> </story>Comment: NERD LOVE
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#301391* (?/67) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
PinkFreud eyes the documentation for perlipc
<PinkFreud> # If a second child dies while in the signal handler caused by the
<PinkFreud> # first death, we won't get another signal. So must loop here else
<PinkFreud> # we will leave the unreaped child as a zombie. And the next time
<PinkFreud> # two children die we get another zombie. And so on.
<PinkFreud> ... since when does George Romero use perl?
Tarinaky groans... meeemmmrryyyyyy. Threaaadddtaaaablleeee meeemmrrryyy.
Tarinaky lurches towards PinkFreud.
<PinkFreud> oh crap. someone didn't reap their dead child.
<Tarinaky> My parents should totally have reaped me as a child, lol.
963AAARAU walks in, then backs sloowwwwly away from the room
963AAARAU is now known as Bobsentme
<Tarinaky> It's too late.
<Tarinaky> You're already infected.
PinkFreud sends zombie Tarinaky towards Bobsentme
<Tarinaky> Before you know it you'll be one of the walking dead - coding in C++ - like the rest of us.
<Bobsentme> going to reap...errr...pick up the kids from schoolComment: #code / Nightstar
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#302407 (19/59) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dustin> Me: "What can I get for you?"
<Dustin> Customer: "I want a small popcorn, and don�t try to upsell me a medium!"
<Dustin> Me: "Can I interest you in a large then?"
<Dustin> Customer: "I want to speak to your manager."Comment: #chatspike on irc.chatspike.net
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#305796 (29/51) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Bunsen> Imagine a twinkie represents the normal amount of Murphy's Law activity at a nuclear power plant.
<Bunsen> Based on the current situation at Fukushima No. 1, their Twinkie is about thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds. |
#306042* (?/61) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Homicide> What did the injured cats say to each other?
<Homicide> Me-ouch
<Homicide> There was a brief moment of silence, in which the sheer shittiness of the joke settled in. No-one in the room could believe a jest that abhorrent could be spawned on our fair earth. It felt as if claws of stupidity were tearing at my mind.
<Homicide> Suddenly, the girl behind me committed suicide on the spot. Full scale riots broke out over the tri-state area, with murders, looting, and rape. Cries of "How could that punchline be so horrible? What god would allow this?" could be heard as people lept from rooftops. The Me-owch riots had begun.
<Homicide> The area had to be carpet-bombed by the Air force in order to quell the riots and make sure no traces of the horrid humor escaped the infected area. The entire state of New York was quarantined, and everything we ever held dear was either bombed or destroyed by the insipid setup and punchline.
<Homicide> A little girl next to me said she believed things couldn't possibly get worse. When her brother heard the joke, he ate their mother, burned down their house and killed himself. |
#306275* (?/51) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<starlight> hey bud heard you had a busy day
<starlight> wtf happened down there??
<Mako> matt seriously... i've got no fuckin idea how these people walk and breathe
<Mako> let alone study for degrees
<starlight> lol
<Mako> hang i gotta sort this in head
<starlight> righto
<Mako> right well these guys/gals in eastwick have alway been kinda simple in the sense they have no common sense
<starlight> ok
<Mako> god knows what their parents have been doing to keep them outta trouble
<Mako> anyway
<Mako> you know that we all got out because of the fire alarm
<starlight> yeah
<Mako> fireman came over and eexplained that the fire started in the eastwick kitchen because they decided to have BBQ on the side...
<starlight> wtf? on top of the cooker or something?
<Mako> I was about to blow my top and charge over the quad where they all were, no on the fucking SIDE, but he then explained why they did it
<starlight> WHAT hw could they not know that was dargerous!?!
<Mako> he said that they thought it was cold outside so brought some disposable BBQ trays and filled it with SMOKELESS coal thinking it would be fine D:
<Mako> i had to sit down...
<starlight> sorry but ROFL!
<Mako> i swear matt... one day i will just drop dead when my cerebellum shuts down by being overexposed to that much stupid ;(
<starlight> I mean wtf are they studying?
<starlight> can't be science... media, art or something??
<Mako> no most of them are political science majors
<starlight> OMFG we are so doomed.... |
#306556 (29/57) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Strife89> Mother of fuck, Sintel has a 4k render.
<Strife89> Place your bets now: will my best computer be able to play this video?
<Ayen> Is a terrible explosion a possibility? If so, I'd go for that.
<Strife89> Ayen: Probably won't happen literally, but I'm betting on framerates below 1 FPS
<Ayen> I wish programs would show you fractional framerates when under 1
<Strife89> I wish they never had to.
<bildramer> lol
<Ayen> "Hah, you're rendering 1/8th of a frame per second"
<bildramer> I always found ms/f better than f/s
<Strife89> "You fail at hardware rendering FOREVER"
<Strife89> "Go get some new hardware, cheap bastard."
<Ayen> if I were programming something, I'd want to have the framerate counter display something like "Pitifully low" instead of >1
<Strife89> Ayen: For that, you might as well throw in a "umad?" or a trollface.
<Ayen> it'd be best if it was in some ridiculously small and simple program that shouldn't ever go below 100 fps or something.
<Strife89> glxgears, maybe
<Ayen> hah, the messages would rotate. "Are you running this on your Apple II?"
<Ayen> "Windows 95 is a bit out of date, by the way."
<Strife89> *snickers* |
#306761* (?/49) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Xhu sets topic: #derpfishia! | Riots defeated by rain and Operation Cup of Tea. God, we really are British, aren't we? |
#307530* (?/43) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
MichaelXX2_: College is great
MichaelXX2_: Just don't fuck yourself
MichaelXX2_: Then things get really really bad
BlueProtoman: Fuck myself? In what way? You mean "don't neglect coursework"?
MichaelXX2_: Well there's that
MichaelXX2_: Very much so
MichaelXX2_: And also be sure not to masturbate in the middle of class during a wild hallucination brought on by a lack of sleep
MichaelXX2_: That's not good either
BlueProtoman: Noted.Comment: #openpandora on Freenode
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#307593* (?/55) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Bunsen> tyger: Sounds like you've completed the prerequisite ENG 105 (Lies) and ENG 106 (Damned Lies), and are well into MTH 304 (Statistics). |
#310425* (?/51) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Garm> Can you imagine being on Air Bud's team?
<Garm> Like, you bust your ass all season
<iIIustrious> I think I'd actually kill myself
<iIIustrious> like
<Garm> But no matter how good you do that fucking dog does better
<Cantii> a fucking dog is better at this game than I am
<iIIustrious> who gives a shit if I'm an evolved and capable specimen of the most advanced race on the planet
<iIIustrious> I'm shit at this compared to a fucking dog
<iIIustrious> lik
<iIIustrious> e
<iIIustrious> goddamn
<Cantii> and he's just sitting there panting with this look on his face that you KNOW means 'uninstall n00b'
<Cantii> smug fucker
<iIIustrious> what
<iIIustrious> a shit head
<iIIustrious> it's like
<iIIustrious> ok
<iIIustrious> you fucking dog
<iIIustrious> you wanna feel so goddamn superior?
<iIIustrious> balance getting an education and actual fucking human relationships that don't revolve around feeding you
<iIIustrious> and see if you give half a fuck to still practice at this goddamn game
<iIIustrious> oh yeah and most of the rest of us have to pay for shit too
<iIIustrious> douchey fucking retriever
<Garm> right?
<iIIustrious> goddamn it
<iIIustrious> why am I mad about a movie I've only assumed the plot of
<iIIustrious> does it even happen at highschool?
<iIIustrious> like
<iIIustrious> I'm legit pissed
<iIIustrious> why
<Garm> Wait
<Garm> Have none of us actually even seen Air Bud?
<iIIustrious> I really suspect not |
#310954 (29/51) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mischa> i was just yelling at oracle world people on the street
<mischa> told them oracle is trash and to get a real DB
<mischa> you heard of postgres? it’s dope, free, scales like a motherfucker, open source and YOU DONT HAVE TO SUCK LARRY ELLISON’S COCK
<mischa> sup bro? you use oracle? it’s no good dude, get a real database
<mischa> one guy seemed really angry i was bothering him, he said he actually works at oracle, looked really grim |
#311140 (29/39) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< m1dnight_> Jezus, these damn terrorists are blowing up half my
< m1dnight_> I was late for the university today.
< m1dnight_> Thank god I had to pass 2 bombsites on my way to the university. Not to mention the fact that my university was an actual target (immediate threat)
< m1dnight_> Man this stuff is surreal. People are texting me to ask me if I'm alive..
< m1dnight_> Even one guy "I knew I had to try IRC to contact you so I installed this mirc thing" :>>> |
#311246 (-7/75) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MoikeLap> the E7450 was never designed with datacenter work in mind
<MoikeLap> apparently they can't withstand the rigors of being jammed under a 4U Sun server and used as a lever to line up rack-mount earholes |
#415 (30/270) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<gloone> thinking that noone is here since it's saturday
<gloone> so that i can kill him with a screwdriver.
<gloone> or a stapler
<gloone> that's what i have here. |
#592 (30/296) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@shmoo> i gatta shit
<@shmoo> bb tomorrow |
#647 (30/265) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Medieval> the chances of me spontaneously climaxing while thinking about that are increasing |
#3474 (30/250) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Catgirl> The three stages of Catgirl hating: #1) "FUCK YOU I'M RIGHT YOU'RE WRONG" #2) "FUCK YOU I BET YOU'RE NOT A GIRL" #3) "FUCK YOU" *ban* PM: "I'd like to fuck you." |
#3707 (30/232) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* taz chills to : [Shonen Knife - Do The Bartman (Simpsons)] [3:20] [3.05MB/44KHz/128Kbit]
* Jumper chills to : [Your MOM and I.DIVX.XXX.AVI] [45:60] [560.04MB/44Khz/1024KBit] |
#7779 (30/227) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Booger> http, nntp, ftp. these are all non-cohesive with end-to-end viewing of good titty pics
<Booger> the new standard:
<u238|duhasst> hehe
<Booger> NTTP: Nice Titty Transfer Protocol |
#9119 (30/246) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mikado`> dammit
<Mikado`> I misspelled a l33t w3rd
<^cell^> u have brought shame to the l33t community |
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